My boss essentially warned me for racial insensitivity - aibu?

[Sakalibre]

Firstly, my maternal grandparents were born in Morroco and my paternal grandparents were born in India.

I'm in my 2nd year of a grad scheme (financial services).

Last week, we were given a presentation which addressed systematic racism in relation to the BLM movement.

I am the only female in my team of 15 and the only person under 30 so have a unique perspective.

At the end of the presentation, I very sensitively and tactfully stated I personally do not like being viewed as a victim purely based on the colour of my skin. I tried to say this in a constructive way that some non-white people could take offence to some of the things that had been stated in the presentation. I emphasised this was just an opinion

Anyway, I had a 1 to 1 meeting with my line manager following this presentation and I was given what can only be described as a very stern telling off. I tried to explain my position but he was having none of it. In the end, I actually apologised to him. Which I regret now.

Over the weekend I've given it all a lot of thought. Why should my feelings be discounted? Why shut down the conversation?

WIBU? Should I go over this again with my boss tomorrow?

Btw the presentation referred to non-whites as victims at times

What was stated in the presentation that non-white people could take offence to?

Surely the whole point of it was to be sensitive

I can’t see what you said that warrants a telling off?

What has where your grandparents were born have anything to do with anything?

Also you have been way too vague for anyone to say whether you were wrong or not.

What was the rationale for the telling-off? What specifically did he say you had said or done that was inapproriate?

Was everyone else white?

cinammonbuns - I'm brown and being told that I am a victim but the second I share my experience I get told to shut the fuck up by a middle-aged man

to be blunt.

so the opinion of the only non white person in the room a diversity training is the person whose opinion doesn't count? ffs

what was said? did anyone take offense? in what way do you feel you have a unique perspective?

What you've done is put your head above the parapet which big corporations generally dont like as it challenges the hierarchy. Whatever your skin colour.

I never said anything to dispute the fact that people in the UK and potentially my company will experience racism.

What exactly did you say?

In any case, the whole BLM presentations taking place at work are not going to have impact if people can't have a constructive conversation around them. That's part of the reason racism has become so insidious in many ways. It will never go away but just be undercover.

Your boss is a virtue signalling twat. YADNBU

@Sakalibre

I was not attacking you. I was genuinely asking you to be clearer because your OP was way to vague. Also I think that you should have mentioned you’re actually ethnicity in the OP because there are many white British people whose grandparents were born in India.

Was the telling off for criticising the presentation, in public, that was being given by a senior member of the team? If not I am confused.

Its difficult to know, were you specifically told that you were a victim or were victim groups highlighted?

In what way do you feel you have a unique perspective?

In relation to my team. We're being given a presentation about racism and I'm the only non-white person in my team. That is my perspective.

@TryAnotherNickname

so the opinion of the only non white person in the room a diversity training is the person whose opinion doesn't count? ffs

Sounds about right.

Wait till you hear about the whacky world of disability assessments by the able bodied.

YANBU, but think you do sound a bit entitled by opening saying that you have BAME family members, are under 30 and the only female so have a 'unique' perspective. I especially don't see how the latter two are relevant.

@TryAnotherNickname

so the opinion of the only non white person in the room a diversity training is the person whose opinion doesn't count? ffs

Quite! But, from experience when white people are trying to be woke, they don’t like being told that they are still being incredibly insensitive.

If I were you, OP, I’d write down a rational argument for your case and talk to him again. Your opinion, of course, is absolutely valid.

Also based on your posts I still don’t think I can give a valid assessment on whether you were in the wrong or not but if you feel that you want to make yourself clearer to yourself manager then do so.

Also while obviously you have some experience of racism (I’m guessing that’s what the talk was about) because of being brown as you said, you cannot directly compare that to being black.

Perhaps because the presentation was about systemic racism it wasn’t appropriate for you to discuss your own opinion/feelings. Systemic racism exists, whether you want it to or not. Whether or not you feel like a victim. So yes, you were insensitive from that pov.

sorry but you did suggest it was because you were female and under 30 which I couldn't understand

I just sleep through these things.

We were shown a video clip where we were supposed to assume a Far-Eastern-looking woman was the nanny not the wife.

A month later we got another worthy presentation containing the same video clip with the same surprise that she’s not the nanny. Yawn.

I don’t even know any nannies or anyone who has ever had a nanny.

I think all the Far Eastern women I know are wives of white Scottish men. Is that good or bad?

What? Only black people experience racism not brown people?

This thread is bizarre.

I think the age and sex of the OP is relevant because younger women in the workplace often have their opinions dismissed.