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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh keeps breaking my stuff

219 replies

DimidDavilby · 15/08/2020 12:50

Dh has just broken the butter dish, which was a gift from my stepdad, who had it from his great aunt (sadly departed). He has form for breaking my precious possessions by not treating them with care. He will then say, oh it was an accident, its a clean break but makes no attempt to ever fix.

He shouted through from the kitchen that he had done it and then came through about 5 min later to the front room. I was a bit off with him- didn't have a go, just a bit quiet - and now he's annoyed at me.

AIBU to not be instantly over the breaking of a precious thing?

OP posts:
Glamazoni · 15/08/2020 12:51

I think it’s time you started breaking his precious stuff.

Plumplumbadum · 15/08/2020 12:52

Does he break his own stuff?

GrumpyHoonMain · 15/08/2020 12:52

DH used to do this a lot so I ‘accidentally’ broke something precious to him and shrugged it off like he did. He has stopped being so clumsy now.

sitckmansladylove · 15/08/2020 12:53

I would hate this. I love the few special items I have. But he didn't do it deliberately.

pussycatinboots · 15/08/2020 12:56

It's such a pity you managed to bend all of his golf clubs, but accidents do happen🤷🏻‍♀️

TroysMammy · 15/08/2020 12:58

My DP is clumsy. He recently broke a glass ornament even though I mentioned beforehand to be careful what he was doing which was met with an arsey reply. He's broken glasses, plates and bowls and he's only lived with me for 5 years. I've been extra careful with my things over 25 years bar one teaplate as I couldn't afford to shrug my shoulders and buy a new item when things got broken through carelessness.

Smallsteps88 · 15/08/2020 12:59

Ask him has he fixed it yet.

Glenthebattleostrich · 15/08/2020 13:00

Take his car for a Drive, park it on a hill beside a wall and forget to put the handbrake on.

Or drop his phone down the toilet

Areyouquitesure · 15/08/2020 13:01

Replace it with his money, the exact item from EBay

rottiemum88 · 15/08/2020 13:04

If it was precious, was it out as an ornament or being used as a butter dish? If the latter, accidents happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

MinnieJackson · 15/08/2020 13:08

My SIL used to scratch her ex husbands Xbox games then feign surprise Grin

CatbearAmo · 15/08/2020 13:10

Things for every day use shouldnt be delicate breakables. If you are using a precious heirloom as an every day butter dish yabu. Life is too short to be worried about breaking stuff, especially if it isn't really yours, but your partner's.
However, if it was on display and in a safe space and your dh took it down to faff with it, knowing it was precious to you, then yanbu.

Original poster
DimidDavilby · 15/08/2020 13:12

It was out being used. I don't break my things when I use them though? Because I take care when handling precious items.

He doesn't break his own stuff. Probably because he values it more than mine.

I think it's the being annoyed at me for being upset part that's pissing me off the most. I would have got over it but I don't see why I should pretend that it's fine when it's not. He'll punish me all day now. I'm not a good enough actress for this relationship.

OP posts:
ILoveFood87 · 15/08/2020 13:13

Is he doing it on purpose? As he has form for this?

JammyHands · 15/08/2020 13:13

@catbearamo what’s the point of having lovely things if you don’t use them? I’ve got China given to me by friends and I think of them every time I use it. A butter dish isn’t something that gets a lot of wear and tear!

SkiddySkidz · 15/08/2020 13:14

My husband is the same. It sends me loopy!

Original poster
DimidDavilby · 15/08/2020 13:14

Surely you would take extra care with something that isn't yours @Catbearamo not less care?!

Its not super delicate. Its not like glass or something it's earthenware he must have absolutely twatted it to break it.

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 15/08/2020 13:15

turn the tables on him and be clumsy around his things
do you iron his clothes, if so id burn his favourite shirt and go oops

rottiemum88 · 15/08/2020 13:16

@DimidDavilby

It was out being used. I don't break my things when I use them though? Because I take care when handling precious items.

He doesn't break his own stuff. Probably because he values it more than mine.

I think it's the being annoyed at me for being upset part that's pissing me off the most. I would have got over it but I don't see why I should pretend that it's fine when it's not. He'll punish me all day now. I'm not a good enough actress for this relationship.

Unless he did it deliberately then I still think YABU. I take care when putting things into the dishwasher, doesn't mean I've never accidentally dropped a cup in my life Confused
Smallsteps88 · 15/08/2020 13:16

He'll punish me all day now.

Sorry, explain this, he will punish you? What for? And in what way?

Original poster
DimidDavilby · 15/08/2020 13:16

I don't know @ilovefood87. The last thing was a mug given to me by my best friend that I'd had for more than 10 years.

I don't know if he stands there and breaks it so much as deliberately handles it carelessly out of spite.

OP posts:
ILoveFood87 · 15/08/2020 13:16

Oh OP. It sounds abit (hate to say it) abusive maybe. Sorry if that's not the case. I had an ex who did stuff like this which was why I asked if he was doing it on purpose. Mine would break my stuff then make me feel bad for being upset so i had to apologise to him. He was controlling.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 15/08/2020 13:18

He sounds like an arse. Why would he punish you all day when he is in the wrong and should be apologising?
Go out and leave him to it.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 15/08/2020 13:19

@DimidDavilby

It was out being used. I don't break my things when I use them though? Because I take care when handling precious items.

He doesn't break his own stuff. Probably because he values it more than mine.

I think it's the being annoyed at me for being upset part that's pissing me off the most. I would have got over it but I don't see why I should pretend that it's fine when it's not. He'll punish me all day now. I'm not a good enough actress for this relationship.

Then his shit would start getting broken and if he expressed any grief I'd punish him, too. Twat.
Hairthrowaway · 15/08/2020 13:19

Buy him some plastic children’s crockery and tell him he can only use those as he’s apparently really clumsy