I’m 36 and it hasn’t happened for me. I like men, I have a successful life outwardly, I’m physically perfectly normal (some might say even say attractive) and I’d like to have sex but...there we go. I’ve kissed but not much else. Certainly no sexual contact. But I am a sexual being despite this, with needs, wants, desires etc.
I didn’t get asked on my first date until I was almost 30. The only relationship I’ve ever had was with a man who was also an older virgin and he wasn’t able to have sex with me. Literally threw me out the bed several times. That certainly went a long way to screwing up my already fragile sense of self worth!
I think with me the biggest factor has been lack of opportunity/love but also;
Very strict, religious and non British family for whom sex before marriage and/or living with anyone before marriage was a very very shameful thing.
Childhood emotional and physical abuse resulted in me having a lot of shame and feelings of not being worthy of love or affection.
Horrendously bullied by boys from 12-15. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting me.
Only approached by much older men (Dad/Grandad age).
Not much of a clubber. Worked hard through uni and only socialised in mainly female circles with hobbies etc.
Being scared of online dating/ approaching men first. I guess I just thought they wouldn’t want me anyway...and maybe I still see myself as quite unlovable.
No one at all knows I’m a virgin outside of immediate family. Although it’s weird, a lot of people seem to think I’m a, in the words of one friend, “goer” 
and I’m often approached and asked for sex advice by both female and male friends. Anytime I’ve genuinely tried to tell them I’m a virgin they’ve laughed and just wouldn’t believe me and thought it was a joke.
There’ve been a couple of times fairly recently when I could have had one night stands with some really attractive men whilst away on business and no one would have known and I would never have seen the man again but...it just felt a bit pointless. So someone would have put his penis in my vagina and I could say “oh, well, that’s sex ticked off the bucket list” but..so what? I wouldn’t actually have achieved anything close to what I want.
I want a relationship and intimacy and a fulfilling sex life with someone that I share mutual love and affection with.
And no one has offered that to me to date. A few men have wanted to get me drunk and fuck me but, forgive me, I don’t see that as much of an offer. And I’m so much more than my virginal status. It doesn’t make me any less of a person.
I do still hope I’ll meet someone good, who genuinely loves me and I won’t die having missed out on it all. The worst thing is obviously now it’s getting late for biological kids and I always wanted to conceive, be pregnant, give birth and all of that so that’s kind of heartbreaking. But...we’ve all got some cross to bear in life so there you go.
It’s not that rare. I can think of three “party girl” friends of mine who were older virgins (over 25). One was terrified any time someone tried to sleep with her and just got very tense and was able to relax enough, despite being pretty and popular. She’s married now but she was late 20s before it all worked out for her. Another was stunning, a professional dancer and really quite sexy/sultry. No one asked her out and it knocked her confidence. She was also quite religious. I think she was 29/30 before she met her now husband who was smitten and adored her. Another lived in a very rural, isolated place, stayed at home instead of going to university, wasn’t considered physically attractive by most people, had a lot of anger and other emotional difficulties. She was a late bloomer but in the space of about two years slept around a lot in one night stand/FWB situations then got married to the first guy who ever took her on a date who she met online. I don’t think you’d guess any of them, or I, were older virgins. It’s probably more common than most people realise.
As a generation we kind of suck at dating! If you aren’t wanting casual sex and you’re not confident in your own lovableness then it’s scarily easy to find yourself in this situation.