My friend has stopped paying for things ..aibu to mention it?

[berryberry44]

My friend will ask me to get things from town whilst I'm up (just stupid things like shampoo or a candle etc ) but never gives me the money.
Yesterday I dropped off around £10 worth of things and she took the bag and didn't mention paying.
Then we went out for lunch and I said il get the taxi there and you pay back.
She said no problem,il give you the money for back and you can use your Uber account.
Then she gave me half the taxi fare(I don't know how she thought that was correct)
Then popped in Superdrug and I had a few things,she hands me those and says "can you pay for these and il give you money,I hate paying with my card"
I said no,I said it gets too confusing.
Can we just pay for our own things.
Aibu to say that ?
Do I mention that she never pays ?

You are perfectly reasonable. She knows exactly what she is doing. You can only control what you do.
Just say no each time.

Now you know what she’s like avoid being in those situations She’s really not acting like a friend is she

I'm thinking of just using cash for everything when I'm with her.
Then no confusion

Next time she asks you to get something either say no or say you'll have to give me the money in advance, you've not paid for the last few things, or write a list with all the amounts and send it to her with a message, I realise it might get confusing or things get forgotten but these are all the things you still owe me the money for, in future best of you just get your own things or give me the money in advance so it doesn't get too complicated

If I add everything up it's probably near £50
Which I know isn't a massive amount but it's just annoying.
I'm going to do that,write a list etc
Now she's text asking me to look in Debenhams to see if they have these pjs.

Next time she asks say " no you already owe me about £30 I'm skint" just keep saying no.

Sorry but I think she is taking the p**s. Is there a reason she doesn't have any money? You need to put your foot down or avoid her.

Omg she is no friend. She's taking the piss. Ask her to get you something for £50 and when she asks for the money say I will take it off what you owe me.

This is actually being manipulative to get you to pay.
I don't like using my card !!!
You use your Uber account !!
She's looking at ways to get you to pay.
That I'd find more worrying.
That my so called friend is thinking of ways to get money from me.

How good a friend are you? I would have no issues with telling my best friends 'no chance! You owe me about 40 quid anyway at the moment... You buy mine for me with yours instead this time'. If I didn't have that sort of relationship, I'd just avoid doing anything with them for a while. Being asked would piss me off too much.

Is her paying you via mobile phone an option? Over here (Australia) you register your mobile phone number to your bank account and people can send you $$ using your mobile number.

If that is available in the UK she could always pay you there and then so she doesn’t get away with not paying you and doesn’t have to worry about having her card with her.

You can

1. have a conversation about how you are waiting for her to pay you back for previous items
2. Just say no. No explanation required just No.
3. Get in first, hand her your stuff and ask her to pay and repeatedly do this until you think you have been payed back
4. Continue to say yes and be out of pocket

Your 'friend' is using your good nature to take advantage of you, you need to tell her to buy her own items in future as you cannot keep track of what she owes you, tell her there are some nice pyjamas in Debenhams and leave it at that, its up to her whether she buys them or not.

"haha, no! What am I, a personal shopping service?! 😂 Oh and while I remember, I think the bits I've got you so far add up to about £46, can you transfer it?"

If she asks you to buy something just laugh and warmly tell her no chance as she owes you £50

Is there a good reason that she can’t go into town and buy stuff herself?
Why are you running around after her?

Wow, she's practically stealing from you! She doesn't sound much like a friend...

Why are u doing all the shopping? Why can't she go herself?

Anyway, you need to stop, or ask for the money in advance (cash, PayPal, bank transfer) or ask for money and keep her stuff until she pays you. This isn't on, stand up for yourself or you'll be hundreds out of pocket before you know it!

Why aren't you asking her for the money she owes you?

I’d ask her if she is struggling for money at the moment and approach it that way

"I hate paying with my card"? What they really mean is, "I hate paying for things when I can get someone else to pay for me instead".

If she’s struggling for money then she shouldn’t be buying candles.

Just tell her no OP, of course that’s not unreasonable. You aren’t a bank. Remind her she owes you £50 or whatever. Everytime.

"Sorry, no. You still owe me £50 for the other things I've paid for for you"

And yes, it's disturbing how calculating her attempts are to get you to pay. Just say no. Every time.

I'd do as PP suggest, but also keep an eye on how she treats you otherwise. She's not behaving like a real friend, and if she's simply using you, be prepared to be dumped when you stop letting her take advantage.

Just dump her and move on. She is not a friend. She is a nasty person and I can’t understand why you put up with this.

Stop mentioning to her that you're going into town, first of all.

If you've found yourself giving in and getting her some things, say when you give them to her 'that's £10 please, you can transfer me the money if you haven't got the cash' although I'm sure she'll come up with an excuse to pay you later and never send the money.

Definitely pay your share going forward, if she asks you to pay and she'll give it to you later a simple 'can't this month, money is tight' should do the trick.

Message her back and tell her you will look and see if the have the PJs but you can't but them as she hasn't paid you for other stuff you have bought for her. CF she is.