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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think weddings should have one maid of honour and the bridesmaids should be young children

197 replies

LaureBerthaud · 04/08/2020 10:18

Like Kate Middleton and I did for our weddings.

Less cost, fuss and stress and the photographs look better.

And I know it's their wedding, their choice...

OP posts:
pepsicolagirl · 04/08/2020 10:19

That last sentence answers your question.

Aposterhasnoname · 04/08/2020 10:22

Yes absolutely, your wedding was miles better than everyone else’s, hell you even did the same as the future queen FGS.

SerenDippitty · 04/08/2020 10:23

In my case there were no young children I could ask.

MrsSSG · 04/08/2020 10:24

I have three best friends so I couldn't have just one maid of honour. And I was the youngest in the family to get married and the first of my friends to get married, so no young children either.

Doesn't work for everyone I'm afraid OP!

RusholmeRuffian · 04/08/2020 10:25

What a bizarre thing to give a shit about. Personally I didn't plan my wrong around what the photos would look like!

AfterSchoolWorry · 04/08/2020 10:25

I had 2 bridesmaids and three flower girls. Looked Fab of i say so myself.

Bluntness100 · 04/08/2020 10:25

If you know it’s their wedding their choice what is the point of the question? Are you being judgey and deciding you know what’s best and then comparing yourself to Kate Middleton?

Hmm
Starbuggy · 04/08/2020 10:25

YABU

People should have who they want as their bridesmaids

Skyliner001 · 04/08/2020 10:26

Who cares about other people's weddings? Check your judgement and have a biscuit. Biscuit

WorraLiberty · 04/08/2020 10:26

Maybe if you have no friends/adult sisters.

But even then, if you don't know any young kids, are you supposed to hire some?

user1493413286 · 04/08/2020 10:28

But what about if you don’t just have one close friend or sibling? I do think it gets a bit ridiculous beyond 4 bridesmaids but their choice. Also who chooses the bridal party based on what looks good in pictures?

Ethelfleda · 04/08/2020 10:29
Confused

I didn’t know any young girls I could ask!!

CharlieSays13 · 04/08/2020 10:29

Young children are Flower Girls surely? I was a Flower Girl when I was 5 and I was absolutely brilliant, I was the star of that show as far as I was concerned.

ForeverBubblegum · 04/08/2020 10:29

Different people have different families. If you have an adult sister you're really close to and a best friend since childhood. But the only young children in your family are your second cousins step children, who you've met once.

Who are you going to ask / leave out?

SingleHandSue · 04/08/2020 10:29

There were no young kids in our families when we married and I don’t have any sisters so I just had my best friend as bridesmaid.

DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 04/08/2020 10:31

My adult bridesmaids were gasp male. It was way more important to me to have the support and love of my dear friends on my wedding day than raking through the family tree/ digging out old friends I'd not seen for a decade just to find some cutesy under 10s for the photos.

eaglejulesk · 04/08/2020 10:31

YABU - people can have whoever they want as wedding attendants!

Scarlettpixie · 04/08/2020 10:33

Why do you care what other people do? Yabu.

I didn’t have any bridesmaids. That’s the best way to cut costs!

Topseyt · 04/08/2020 10:37

You don't need bridesmaids or matrons of honour at all if you don't want them.

I did have my sister as a matron of honour, and one young bridesmaid who was a cousin of DH's.

If those hadn't been available though I wouldn't have bothered having any.

It really is nobody else's business except for the bride and groom. Bride mainly in this instance.

MrsClatterbuck · 04/08/2020 10:40

I had one bridesmaid. Had a choice of 8 kids to have as flowergirls. Kept to one bridesmaid. My choice.

Orchidsindoors · 04/08/2020 10:41

I think little girl bridesmaids and little page boys are the best. It's a bit odd to have lots of adult bridesmaids, but I'm thinking its evolved that way as brides want them to plan when do's.

BogRollBOGOF · 04/08/2020 10:44

I had my two best friends and two nieces which was lovely.

Another friend who I love equally but is rather shy and self concious was a witness, more low key, but legally of the greater importance.

Choose people you love for roles that suit them.

Boom45 · 04/08/2020 10:44

What a weird thing to give a shit about. Have you been asked to be a bridesmaid? You can just say no if you dont want to, there are ways of saying no that wont ruin a friendship (although I wouldn't mention Kate Middleton when you do - you'll just look weird)

Original poster
LaureBerthaud · 04/08/2020 10:46

If you know it’s their wedding their choice what is the point of the question?

You could ask: what is the point of Mumsnet?

My niece is angsting because she has 4 "besties" so can't choose but can't afford 4 plus her little sisters. I've said you can only actually have one best friend - otherwise they're not best - choose that one and let the other 3 relax and enjoy the wedding.

OP posts:
sunrainwind · 04/08/2020 10:46

Whatever you want works! I had 4 adults (sisters and best friends) and my two nieces - if I hadn't had nieces I wouldn't have had little bridesmaids. I have goddaughters now I'd have but didn't then.