To think weddings should have one maid of honour and the bridesmaids should be young children

[LaureBerthaud]

Like Kate Middleton and I did for our weddings.

Less cost, fuss and stress and the photographs look better.

And I know it's their wedding, their choice...

I'm getting married soon not sure when as was getting married at Easter but covid put paid to that, so anyway I don't want a lot of hoo hah my dd will be my bridesmaid my mum will walk in with me we will get the official stuff done then have a massive party at the local which I hope all our friends will enjoy and then we're hoping to go to Paris as our trip as Easter was cancelled due to covid.
We will still be married and intend to have a fun day without all the rigmarole and Kate Middleton was upstaged by her sisters arse so who'd want that

You wouldn't like my wedding I'm planning (eventually!) - my dress is pink, I'm not walking down an aisle (and most certainly not with my dad-he doesn't own me to give away!), and I won't be having any bridesmaids as I'm almost 40! I hate tradition for tradition's sake!!!

I had 2 girls as brides maid no maid of honour Where I grew up adult bridesmaids are not the norm so it felt odd to me to have a maid of honour.

I can't get over that picture of the Queen and her bridesmaids. The bridesmaids are all identical, all have dark hair, all very slim and all the right heights! Not much variety in body shape, hair colour, anything!

I had no bridesmaids and no maid of honour, it wasn't for me, I had a fairly small wedding, I'm not into people wearing dresses chosen for them/matching me, just wanted everyone to come and enjoy themselves. There's always one bridesmaid for whom the chosen dress is less than flattering...

I haven't married yet but when I do, I'll have 2 bridesmaids and they will be my best friends. I'm going to avoid having children at my wedding altogether, let alone be a bridesmaid as I know how difficult they can be to control and the last thing I want as I'm walking down the aisle is a child having some sort of meltdown.

Well If you and the two Kate's did it op, I might he'll DH we need to get remarried so I can do it properly

Anyway traditionally bridesmaids were there as a backup in case the bride did a runner, so I really don't think kids should be bridesmaids at all if you're going to be strict about it.

Bridesmaid's are there to confuse the devil so he takes one of them not the bride. Bit harsh then to have all kids 😂😂

It makes the photos look better? . In what way, exactly?

I'm inclined to agree - one chief bridesmaid to sign the register with the best man and a couple of little girls who'd like to dress up. Every girlfriend you go out with on Saturday nights decked out in those horrible strapless gowns in unflattering shades of chiffon - does look a bit vulgar. And one best man - not a line-up in matching suits!
When you look back on your wedding photos you don't want to see a line-up of 'besties' who were only transient friends through one stage of your life.

In my (very classy) wedding, I just had one 6 year old flower girl. Looked fab.

YABU, there's no should about weddings , apart from both partners should say yes.
It's up to the bride and groom what they want, and FA to do with anyone else.

@luckylavender

In my (very classy) wedding, I just had one 6 year old flower girl. Looked fab.

Who told you it was classy?

I had 1 bridesmaid (my lifelong best friend) and that was it. It started off as 3 adult bridesmaids and 4 young ones. Then everybody started to whinge about why I'd chosen this person and not that one...why 1 child was a bridesmaid so their sister should be as well etc. In the end I told them all that it was just going to be my best mate because I didn't need the hassle. The photos didn't bother me because we didn't have an official photographer so none of the false smiles or posed shots.

I think the maid of honour should be the bride's grandmother and the rest of the bridesmaids should all be cats.

I know, I know, your wedding your choice, but I think this is how it should be and the photographs would DEFINITELY look better.

I need to start my own thread about this really.

Well I had two adult sisters, so which should I have picked? Neither were married when I was. Niece was 10 but looked older, one best friend I've been best friends with now 16 years and she'll be god mother to one of my children when we can have a christening. Other best friend and I have grown apart, I probably shouldn't have asked her but it's about time and distance and life, nothing bad so I don't regret it. Also had her daughter so if hadn't had her I'd have not he'd the daughter either (she wouldn't have wanted to do it on her own) which left DNIL who was 7. There were no other kids.

Less cost, fuss and stress

I'm not sure that any of these are congruent with Kate and Wills' wedding.

I love seeing the American wedding photos where they have a dozen adult bridesmaids and a dozen groomsmen.

How about these bridesmaids?? I don't think they are even virgins.

I wish people would stop deciding what brides should or shouldn't do. I picked two 8 year olds, who were delighted.
Suddenly had two extra bridesmaids forced on me by bullying mothers and a third - a long term Goth - who told me in no uncertain terms that there was no way she wanted to wear "a shit bridesmaid's dress" but felt she should because her school friends said she may not get another opportunity. Cheers.
I invited her to be a reader instead which she jumped at and her mother didn't speak to me for over 15 years.
If I could go back in time I wouldn't have any bridesmaids, it just meant dealing with endless complaints and demands that frankly sucked some of the joy out of planning the event.

I think the maid of honour should be the bride's grandmother and the rest of the bridesmaids should all be cats.

I could get on board with that

You seem very focused on the look of the thing. Aesthetics are not the only consideration of what makes for a good wedding. Perhaps you have lost sight of the meaning of the wedding?

OP only one person should have a say in who is a bridesmaid and that's the bride herself. You sound shallow the photos are insignificant.

For a lot of people like you OP my pictures would have been ruined anyway because my disabled brother was in them

That was uncalled for. This is a light-hearted thread.

@LaureBerthaud

If you know it’s their wedding their choice what is the point of the question?

You could ask: what is the point of Mumsnet?

My niece is angsting because she has 4 "besties" so can't choose but can't afford 4 plus her little sisters. I've said you can only actually have one best friend - otherwise they're not best - choose that one and let the other 3 relax and enjoy the wedding.

why is it your place to say anything? She can have whoever she wants.

It's true though, the literal meaning of "best"friend is that they're ranked higher than the others 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had 2 adult bridesmaids one size 8 one size 24 and 2 junior bridesmaids one 14 years old and looked 20 and one 13 years old and looked 8. It was a mishmash of shapes/sizes but all looked lovely in their dresses and most importantly were comfortable in them.

I didn’t pick them for how it looked but because that’s who I wanted there by me and would of been upset if I hadn’t asked them (adults) and as I care about them I wanted them to enjoy the day and not to be disappointed.