To think weddings should have one maid of honour and the bridesmaids should be young children

[LaureBerthaud]

Like Kate Middleton and I did for our weddings.

Less cost, fuss and stress and the photographs look better.

And I know it's their wedding, their choice...

That "gorgeous" wedding photo looks like a school trip.

Well, if they look better that the most important thing.

Well, I had two adults and two older children. And that was absolutely the right way...for us. Unless I had rented some small children, I would have struggled with getting very young ones. The only little ones in our close family/circle of friends were under two and I think it would have been rather too much for either of them and their parents.

What a weird thing to even think about. I had 2 adult bridesmaids because my sister and my best friend of 30 years both mean the world to me. I also had my two young nieces as little bridesmaids.

Surely it's about wanting the support of those you love the most and who love you, not how 'balanced' the pictures look.

How could your DD possibly choose one from her 4 best friends. She may end up causing a falling out which would be awful. How can she not afford 4 adult bridesmaids? Is money really tight? I'd cut back in the flowers or cake or honeymoon if she really wants them there. They could wear their own dresses and shoes. Or just buy a high street dress. Dorothy Perkins, Asos, Boohoo, Ever Pretty do lovely ones... It doesn't have to be expensive.

Your whole op is crap, if it's their wedding their choice, why post the rest??

Makes no sense....

I guess many people want their wedding photos to have their closest friends/family members in them, rather than the people in their life they think would look the most aesthetically pleasing in Wedding photos? Yknow, maybe they want their best friends from university at their side rather than their cute, school age second cousin? Radical stuff, I know.

I had a best woman. My long-standing best friend. I’m not sure the only child-of-friends-and-siblings I knew at the time could walk reliably.

Utterly pathetic.

I had 4 adult women bridesmaids but actually agree 1 adult and flower girls probably would be better in practicality and photos

Did you only have 1 friend OP? People want the people they love at their wedding, whether as guests or with a 'role'. The marraige is the most important bit. Having a lovely day is great but photography symmetry is not top of most people's plans...

I had no MOH and no Bridesmaids because I married abroad and don't have the patience to deal with small children

I think that everyone should have the same sort of wedding as I did - less fuss, cheaper and fantastic photos.....

Oh wait....

Kate Moss got it right. Ok the marriage didn't work but the wedding photos were gorgeous.

It looks like a school trip

I didn't have kids when I got married, and wasn't particularly interested in them. I wanted my mates with me, not some little kids (not that I knew any at the time) who are basically a lot of hard work at formal occasions (I do have kids now, and stand by that).

I love weddings (other people's weddings that is).
If they wish to have 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen, and can afford it, then good luck.
Otherwise, one bridesmaid is easier as you do not have to match clothes, and can get something that suits her, rather than try to please more than one. Also one bridesmaid matches one best man.
If you have close friends or relatives that are young children, then have flower girls.

I've got more than one sister and you think I should choose one?

Op, you'd have hated my wedding. I had 1 made of honour, 3 adult bridesmaids and 3 flower girls. The photos looked beautiful as the bridesmaids all matched and the little flower girls looked very cute. Oh and my marriage is really great so clearly this is the way everyone should have their weddings

I'm getting married early evening. Cocktails before dinner, pianist, 7 course dinner. Nope to the kids

I had 2 adult bridesmaids, technically both maids of honour as they were married, my cousin and my oldest friend. I didn't want children as well and my friend and cousin were more important to me.

I don't understand how any can muster up the energy to give a monkeys about what other people decide to do on their wedding day.

A telling focus on how the wedding looks OP. I'm not having a photographer, people will just take candid shots on their phones.

I wasn't going to have any but my DH decided that I was going to have all our DD, 5 in total, so then we went the whole hog and asked my 3 nieces as well apart from my 2 youngest nieces who were about 8/9 at the time all the bridesmaids wore what they wanted. Everyone was comfortable and it was amazing having them all to support me. So NO I do not agree. I had no MoH. Also my DS gave me away.

@FreezerBird

Kate Moss got it right. Ok the marriage didn't work but the wedding photos were gorgeous.

Absolutely sound priorities there OP. Bang on.

Hah exactly - fuck the marriage having any staying power, the real issue is do the photos warrant an exhibit in the Tate Modern?

Who on earth puts this much thought into what another person chooses for their wedding? I had four bridesmaids, by some fluke of nature they're all similar sizes and height and hair colour. They all looked beautiful but more importantly they're the women I love most in the world. Surely you just choose the women who've played the best and biggest role in your life and go from there?

wtf - this is such a goady thread.

and I always thought flower girls were traditionally younger girls and page boys younger boys. I've always known bridesmaids to be more similarly aged to the bride - atleast they have been at all the weddings I've been to

I think big weddings are a massive waste of time and money. I had one and the only thing I'd have again is the groom. The rest of it was one huge, pointless cash spunk.