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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think weddings should have one maid of honour and the bridesmaids should be young children

197 replies

LaureBerthaud · 04/08/2020 10:18

Like Kate Middleton and I did for our weddings.

Less cost, fuss and stress and the photographs look better.

And I know it's their wedding, their choice...

OP posts:
lampshadery · 04/08/2020 15:10

Sorry but that photo of Kate Moss's wedding is possibly the furthest from 'nice' I could possibly imagine

heartsonacake · 04/08/2020 15:13

YABU. I had a child free wedding; children would have ruined the photos (and the wedding) not enhanced them.

Hardbackwriter · 04/08/2020 15:14

In my experience the weddings where the bride has really strong fixed views on what 'should' be done and where they plan it all around the photos are not the most enjoyable kind of wedding... But it is quite likely that no one's exactly chomping at the bit to be bridesmaid!

lakeswimmer · 04/08/2020 15:14

YABVU - surely the point of bridesmaids is to assist the bride and be helpful on the day and in the run up to the wedding? Small children aren't helpful and given their propensity to refuse to cooperate they are likely to add stress.

Not everyone knows any small children to ask. At a recent wedding I went to, the bride had four adult bridesmaids; her two sisters, best friend from uni and best friend from school. Not sure that any of them deserved to be ditched in favour of a random toddler.

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 15:17

Kate Moss got it right. Ok the marriage didn't work but the wedding photos were gorgeous.
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 04/08/2020 15:21

I only had my little sister (she was 12) as a bridesmaid, because my friend was on shift and couldn't guarantee being able to have the time off (police officer). But even when my mum got married in the early 70s, she had an adult bridesmaid (her best friend) and a small one (my aunt, who is 15 years younger than my dad). It isn't a new or modern thing that goes against tradition, it is up to the bride how she organises her own wedding party.

mamaoffourdc · 04/08/2020 15:21

I had my bff as my maid of honour, my 3 sister in laws (13, 14, 15) as bridesmaid and 2 year old niece as a flower girl - people can have whoever they want!! It's being surrounded by "your" people

Hardbackwriter · 04/08/2020 15:21

I was a bridesmaid as a toddler and when the photos of the ceremony were developed it turned out most of them were ruined because I'd been picking my nose in the background and no one had noticed but you could see in the photos. If they picked me so that they had 'gorgeous' photos I was a disappointment. Also - and I realise that you consider this part to be unimportant, OP - it later turned out that the groom had been cheating on the bride for years, so the marriage ended in a very acrimonious divorce.

CorianderLord · 04/08/2020 15:43

I've never known this to be the case. I don't know any children well...

Orchidsindoors · 04/08/2020 15:58

"How about these bridesmaids?? I don't think they are even virgins."

Eh? Since when did bridesmaids have to be virgins?

DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 04/08/2020 16:11

@Orchidsindoors

"How about these bridesmaids?? I don't think they are even virgins."

Eh? Since when did bridesmaids have to be virgins?

Traditionally a "maid" short for maiden is an unmarried woman (and therefore obviously a virgin). No one is seriously suggesting you demand for friends/sisters don't have sex so that can be your bridesmaids (but some CF bridezillas might try it!)
airbags · 04/08/2020 16:33

So your wedding was superior to mine and your photos were better.....

For me it was about the man I was marrying - not how good the photos were. But then I wasn't a bridezilla.

cptartapp · 04/08/2020 16:36

I had no bridesmaids. I didn't want everyone cooing over young children all dressed up looking pretty and stealing the show. I wanted that for me and my husband.
One of my two best friends did a reading and the other signed the register. No hassle, no falling out. No regrets.

iklboo · 04/08/2020 16:44

Kate Moss got it right. Ok the marriage didn't work but the wedding photos were gorgeous.

Ah, well that's alright then.

Mothermorph · 04/08/2020 17:51

My Dsis got married a couple of years ago. My elderly Ddad was there to walk her down the aisle. He didnt want to wear the matching suit and shoes, to the groom and grimaced his way through a series of photos. I guess she should have brought in a stunt dad for the pics who might have looked better but Ddad died a year later and we treasure the pics of him enjoying his Dds wedding.

BikeRunSki · 04/08/2020 18:14

Or you could have 6 identikit bridesmaids in traditional dress. My niece is one of these. They were chosen because they were all the same height.

To think weddings should have one maid of honour and the bridesmaids should be young children
CuntyMcBollocks · 04/08/2020 18:30

Just photoshop your loved ones faces onto Kate Moss's perfect wedding pics, then you can look back fondly at your perfect day that you never had.

Original poster
LaureBerthaud · 04/08/2020 18:38

surely the point of bridesmaids is to assist the bride and be helpful on the day and in the run up to the wedding?

What does the bride need help with?

OP posts:
uniglowooljumper · 04/08/2020 18:41

I think everyone should elope. Weddings are a PITA.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/08/2020 20:10

@LaureBerthaud I think you ought to share your wedding photos so we can all see how to do it differently

SleepingStandingUp · 04/08/2020 20:11

@LaureBerthaud I think you ought to share your wedding photos so we can all see how to do it properly

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 20:12

@BikeRunSki

Or you could have 6 identikit bridesmaids in traditional dress. My niece is one of these. They were chosen because they were all the same height.
They're not all the same height!
Zhampagne · 04/08/2020 20:19

That picture of Kate Moss’s wedding looks like World Book Day in a y2 classroom.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/08/2020 20:21

@Zhampagne

That picture of Kate Moss’s wedding looks like World Book Day in a y2 classroom.
There's also 2 adults despite ops rules
DisgruntledSnowman · 04/08/2020 20:23

A gaggle of unrukly kids as bridesmaids? Christ no! I wanted my bridesmaids to be grown ups who could actually be useful during the day, and be a source of support. Kids look cute, but are needy and annoying.

Kate Moss's pics look awful. For someone with an awful lot of money she certainly picked naff frocks for her horde of BMs.