Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

Why don’t you want to? Genuine question, it wouldn’t bother me at all

YDNBU!!

Not sure how to approach it, although i'm sure others will have great advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not being unreasonable.

Do it, identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee

I can't see how putting she/her in your signature harms you tbh.

Just don't do it. I wouldn't and would just say I didn't feel it necessary if I was asked why.

I don’t see how it does any harm. It’s a two minute job - quicker than writing this post 😉

I dont think you're being unreasonable at all. I wouldnt want to either

I'm not sure how that would look at the end of an email.
I've never ever known anyone to put this.
You put your name and that's it.
What does it matter was sex you are or what you identify as?
So what..??? I put; Jane Smith (she)
Really?

Can someone explain why they wouldn't want to?

Two options.

Tell them you have no wish to draw further attention to your sex, given that women are already discriminated against in the workplace.

Or say that you find this all very triggering and that are not able to discuss it until you have worked through some personal issues.

Depends why you want not to, I think.

I don't put pronouns after my email signature because I teach students at an age where they often feel acutely uncomfortable about their identities (in multiple ways) and I am well aware this can act as covert, well-meaning pressure on them to 'out' themselves or make statements they are not ready to make. I therefore discuss this in so many words, often, and make clear that no one is under pressure to share private or personal details with me or anyone else they're interacting with.

I am now thinking I might include a statement to that effect in my signature.

I wouldn’t want to either. But also wouldn’t want to tell my reasons (gender critical) for fear of reprisals. I’d probably just not do it and hope they didn’t keep asking... and if they did; do it for a few weeks before changing it back.

But I’m a wuss.

I just ignored the request.

I can't get people to spell my name correctly or actually not use an abbreviated version that I can't stand let alone get them to bother with pronouns...

YANBU.

There is some research which shows that when women's attention is drawn to their sex by external means, they do less well in tasks.

There is also evidence that unconscious bias means that people identified clearly as of the female sex, are treated less well. (Why do you think that Joanne Rowling published as J. K. Rowling? Or why the Brontë sisters published under pseudonyms which didn't sound obviously female).

There's a thread over on FWR about this - maybe ask in there?

But long story short: this move disadvantages woman as a group - and women are a protected category ("sex") under the 2010 Equalities Act in the UK.

@Ponoka7

Can someone explain why they wouldn't want to?

In written correspondence with another person, why would they need to address me as "she" or "he", with pronouns? They would only need to write "you", surely.

I don’t think you are unreasonable. I wouldn’t want to do this as I don’t identify with all of the stereo types/expectations society puts on women - I just am one.

I also don’t want to put the emphasis on which sex I’m on before anyone has even met me.

Happy to use other people’s preferred ways of address, fine. I’m happy as I am.

I would either ignore or just have a quiet chat and explain you feel more comfortable not doing so for personal, identity related reasons.

You could insist that like Prince with his squiggle, you are represented by an eye roll.
To the people saying “why does it matter?” Have a look at the “break it down for me” thread in the feminist section.
Gender ideology is a religion that damages children , and women and girls in particular.

I wouldn't have a problem in letting people know how I wish to be referred. Why would anyone?

Have I got this right? They want you to put....
"Regards
Jane Smith (she)"
I would not do this. My reasons would definitely be sexism and discrimination in the workplace (and I think it's completely unnecessary)

I wouldn't want to.

In a professional context it's irrelevant. I sign myself off as "Ms Ann Jones, she/her". Anyone replying would reply with "Dear Ann" or "To Ms Jones", or as is more common on emails, no salutation whatsoever or just "Ann: as we discussed..."

Anyone receiving that email would reply using me/you. Dear Ann, after our meeting you said X, Y or Z. They are not going to refer to me in the third person in that email.

Finally, how does knowing my sex - assuming you can't tell my sex from my name - affect how you deal with me professionally? Because if you're really telling my that a female Alex Smith or Lee Jones gets treated differently from male equivalents, then you've got a bigger problem than sodding pronouns.

It isn’t bigoted to see how bad genderbollocks is for girls. Teenagers too young to get a tattoo having a double mastectomy ? Not something I am prepared to shore up. Whole thing is based on lying to people that they can change sex, and that you believe they are the sex they say they are. In reality we all know what a woman is, we all came from one.

Surely the point off all this inclusiveness is that If YOU don't want to you shouldn't have to.

For those that want to, go ahead.

Some people have started doing this at our workplace, myself included. It normalises it for the benefit of those people who either don’t have an obviously gendered name, are unlucky enough to constantly be mistaken for the opposite gender, or who are trans and don’t pass and are singled out by having to correct people on a regular basis.

I honestly don’t see the problem with it voluntarily. It causes zero inconvenience for me, and it helps normalise it for the benefit of other people.

However, it should be a choice. Your team leader should be sensitive to this not being everyone’s wish.

God it’s so fucking dull isn’t it. Just ignore until someone forces you to do it by chasing it.