Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

You could attach a picture instead?

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Surely its about your preferred pronouns - not necessarily about the ones that someone else would assume?

The more people that do it, the more it is normalised, so that trans people feel less stigmatised.

I don't come across it often, only my hairdressers really
(where TBH I can't see why my hairdresser needs to use anything other than "you", especially as no one will be making me a cup of tea )

What’s normalised with all this ideological kowtowing to genderism is the steady erosion of women’s rights.

For those wondering why anyone would object to doing this, this is a great read that sets out how it actually harms women to enable and promote the use of wrong-sex pronouns:

fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

And as pp have said, aside from that there are the very pressing issues of stereotype threat and potential sex discrimination.

Article on stereotype threat here:

www.apa.org/research/action/stereotype

Wonder why it is that women are still having to fight for parity at work and all the changes we’ve fought for happen/have happened at a glacial pace, whereas moves to accommodate the wishes of a small number of biologically male people - at the expense of a large number of biologically female people - progress at the speed of light?

I'm sorry, perhaps I'm behind the times (I live abroad). What on earth is all this about? Why would anyone put pronouns on an email signature?

I would resist this on the grounds of not wishing to advertise I am female in an environment geared against women. Over email I have had overseas clients (eg from Saudi Arabia) assume I am male as I am in a senior position and it has worked to my advantage. I would not want to advertise that I am female.
I am, however, fully supportive of anyone who freely put their preferred pronouns on their email footer and I would be sure to use them appropriately.

@AhNowTed

Pointing out I'm a she, specifying that in an email, just in case anyone wondered, in the male dominated market I work in isn't really going to help the advancement of women in my industry.

Well yes, exactly.

Ignore the email and don’t do it.
That’s what I would do. It’s a bit ridiculous IMO.

@EyesOpening thanks for sharing those stories.

@Smallsteps88

I once worked with a (cisgender) woman called Jamie.

Did she identify as cisgender or have you assumed that?

She was born with a female body and identified as female - so she is the very definition of a cisgender woman.

If pushed I'd go for ze/zir and insist people use them

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

If this were me (and I were feel brave) I’d ask whether they’d done any equality impact evaluation to look into how doing this interacts with unconscious bias and stereotype threat, because the truth is that there is plenty of evidence that demonstrates that anything women do that emphasises their sex increases both of these. It is essentially asking women to collude in their own oppression, and it’s not ok.

As someone else said, it also assumes that everyone is sure what pronouns they want to use and is happy to announce these publicly to everyone they send an email to, which is often not the case.

Pronouns: Sex-based, if you can’t tell, should’ve gone to spec savers.

I don’t get the pronoun thing. If you’re trans and you pass you don’t need them. If you’re trans and you don’t pass, why do you want to draw attention to that via email? I can imagine it getting awkward if you have a unisex name and you don’t pass as the sex you want to. Making other people write their pronouns to make some other people feel either better or self conscious about themselves seems unnecessary.

Ask if they have considered the impact of that request on someone who does not want to reveal their gender identity?

Girls in particular can be bullied if they express that their gender identity is not female.

Whilst gender identity is not a protected characteristic, in the interests of diversity they should be more cautious in assuming people want that information revealed

I read a great response to this on a previous thread, something about the fact that as a woman we already experience a lot of discrimination in the patriarchy and so the employee didn’t want to draw even more attention to the fact that she was a woman by putting she/her in her signature. Have a search on previous threads!

I'd suggest you turn this back using @SarahAndQuack's very legitimate argument - i.e. that no-one should be pressured to out themselves or make such personal statements about themselves if they aren't comfortable about it. If anyone feels they want to, fine, but it absolutely shouldn't be a general rule and it's potentially discriminatory.

@ManiPediNow

I'm sorry, perhaps I'm behind the times (I live abroad). What on earth is all this about? Why would anyone put pronouns on an email signature?

TL;DR is that it's all a load of old bollocks (a word I use deliberately as it's driven by men). It also fails to translate into a lot of languages that aren't English .... oddly.

To all the posters saying "what's the harm ?" ... if nothing else it's putting your own dignity to one side to indulge other peoples batshittery.

Imagine an email going around saying "please indicate which of Christs disciples you identify with" ? Yes, it's "harmless" to response. But why should you ?

I would ignore it, and hope that it would be forgotten about.

If pressed, I'd go for:

Pronouns: Sex-based, like my oppression

@PoppedTheHipAgain made me laugh with the it/that comment - I would also be tempted to put something along those lines if I had to choose a pronoun.

She was born with a female body and identified as female - so she is the very definition of a cisgender woman.

I was born with a female body and am still female, I very much DON'T identify with CIS

I wouldn't do it, what's the point? Clients or business colleagues replying to me in an email use either my name, or 'you'. It makes no difference to them, or me, what my pronouns are.

My name is very obviously female but some of the people I email for work regularly are Jo, Ashley, Sam etc and it's never occurred to me to enquire as to how they identify, why would it, it's of no consequence to me at all and makes no difference to our professional interaction.

identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee

YANBU OP why should you? It’s a load of utter bollocks all this pronoun rubbish

I have only ever seen she/her and not he/him. e.g. on Twitter. I dont think I have seen either in an email.

Anyone else spotted similar?

Say you identify as male and sit back and wait for your 20% payrise.

@MrDarcysMa

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

Gender, meaning the stereotypes that are used to define what men and women should be like, has always been something feminists have fought against.

It's not a case of 'not believing' in them, it's a case of understanding that biological sex (real) has been used to force people into gender roles (not real). Now there's a bigger issues with people conflating sex and gender and pretending gender is the important thing rather than sex.