Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

I can recognise that sometime you might not always be aware of the sex or gender of a person you receive an email from. But why does it make a difference?

Every so often, on the internet, someone manages to encapsulate an entire religions worth of wisdom into a few words. Today, the above wins that award.

I still have to be educated how all this pronoun business works in other languages too ? After all, surely the intent is to be universal and all encompassing, not just an Anglophone wank club ? So how do you deal with the issues in Farsi or Urdu ? What's are the Pashtan pronouns ? How do you express in Esperanto ?

I may have stopped taking all this too seriously by now.

Some interesting questions raised on this thread:

It’s actually a really underhanded request because that’s my what it seeks to do- “out the transphobes” but it operates under the guise of inclusivity.

Yes, I believe that's precisely what it's intended to do. It's just as disingenuous and insidious as most of the impositions emanating from this 'movement'. They love holding up exemplars - almost exclusively women - of those who challenge The Ideology (Rosie Duffield is a case in point) - next I suspect they'll be coming after every woman who doesn't trumpet its every ideal from the rooftops. Complete with signature pronouns and rainbow (or pink, blue and white) lanyards.

'It is not enough to believe in Big Brother. You must love him'.

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

There is nothing new being theorised since that point in history. The category now known as ‘GC feminist’ is also a no brainer, given almost all feminism since the year dot has been gender critical by definition. It's job has always been to challenge the modes by which women have traditionally been expressed – marriage bars placed on females for eg. – and to resist the effort (an effort now being firmly reinstated) to tie women’s biology to rigid, essentialist, set-in-stone conceptions of what being female means. Feminism has been effectively unpicking and challenging this gender-based shit fairly consistently for about the last century, and to a less obvious degree long before that.

For me, it isn’t a question of ‘not believing’ in gender. As a concept gender (unlike sex) is a social construct but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. What it is, is nebulous, shifting with every generation, both geographically and historically specific, and therefore a pretty shaky foundation on which to build an identity. If this kind of stuff is now being seen to supersede material reality then no wonder it’s causing so much angst.

The Michael Jackson pronouns did make me laugh, though!

likes owls, cheese and chocolate

Which is all very well until someone bakes you an OwlCheeseChocolate pie.

oppressed. Not expressed.

YANBU
This is ludicrous, navel gazing idiocy.

I dealt with an external supplier on a project (briefly) by email and their name was a combo of two ‘first’ names (as first name and surname).

Their company email for some reason was surname.firstname@ etc, so I assumed their name was Joseph somebody rather than the actual somebody Joseph.

Bless her she never corrected me - the sign off was just an initial (same for both names to add to the confusion) and I had no reason to check her out on LinkedIn or on their website.

In the end I had to call to check something and she guffawed (so I assume it had happened before).

No one died...

@SerendipityJane

likes owls, cheese and chocolate

Which is all very well until someone bakes you an OwlCheeseChocolate pie.

Noooooo - not baby owls! You monster! Did I forget ‘is vegetarian and no doesn’t eat fish or chicken and doesn’t like vegan dairy as it really sucks’.

Actually this could work quite well at work because then your get the birthday cake you like.

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

You'd think it took trans to open our eyes, wouldn't you? If you didn't give us credit for being autonomous and educated thinkers!

In the 70s my heroes were all Glam

In the 80s I and many of my peers were gender bending in our daily lives.

All of my life I have refused the usual Miss/Mrs stuff. I use my first name and have at worst just ignored gendered expectations and at most have spoken up against them.

To suggest that I was made aware of gendered stereotypes, or decided not to like them because a bunch of men started shouting about them is a bit insulting. Like many women I have always found the feminine stereotype anathema, the male one too. But I have always believed it existed, as it patently does. How else have I been subjected to the harassment and discrimination I have?

I would not want to do this. One of our suppliers seems to have asked for this, though those I have seen so far are people whose heritage and name are from the Indian sub-continent.

@afternoon22

I would not want to do this. One of our suppliers seems to have asked for this, though those I have seen so far are people whose heritage and name are from the Indian sub-continent.

It's hard not to see that as racist too ....

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

I grew up with parents who very firmly believed that 'women's roles' were stereotyped and offensive. My Dad used to do my hair for me. My Mum has fantastic aim and used to out-shoot every bloke going on clay shoots. My Dad did most of the cooking. My Mum knows how to use a chainsaw. I was never ever taught - or expected - to think that pink meant girly or that there were 'boy's jobs'.

I was brought up to think that I could dress how I wanted, do whatever job I wanted, and love who I wanted, and that none of these things would be dictated by the fact that I have a vagina.

I find the current aims - which teach that short hair and trousers = boyish - to be facile, offensive and harmful. I am me, and I like the things I like. And none of that has jack shit to do with my biological sex.

I wouldn't want to do it as most people reading it would either be puzzled or label me as a tit.

Great post MarieVanArkle

I can't see how putting she/her in your signature harms you tbh.

There are many things in life that don't harm me: doesn't mean I want to do 'em all!

I've had this from my work (super woke) and I'm presently ignoring it. If I get pressed on the issue I'll be going to the Feminist Chat forum for some suggested responses!

I already get annoyed at anyone referring to me as a cis woman, they can f off I'm announcing my pronouns to anyone!

I’d ask why they needed to know. If someone tried to call me ‘him’ or ‘they’ when it’s pretty obvious that I’m a woman I’d make sure I put a written complaint in. Every single time.

HR are just messing around now - they don’t seem to be very bright or feel that they have the authority to say no when this is suggested.

I would not feel comfortable drawing attention to my sex in that way. I’d love to have a gender neutral title like Dr, Sergeant or Inspector but unfortunately I don’t. My first name can be male but not often.
There’s a reason we phased out terms like policewoman and waitress in favour of gender neutral versions. I have no desire to be referred to as “jane doe, woman in case you momentarily forgot”.

You could go all Irene Adler on them and insist all refer to you as "The Woman"
(Preferably while whimpering and licking your boots. )

@MistyGreenAndBlue

You could go all Irene Adler on them and insist all refer to you as "The Woman" (Preferably while whimpering and licking your boots. )

I've got it, by jove!

My pronoun is "She who must be obeyed."

Oooh - bitch/the bitch/madam. Would that work?

From an employment law point of view, you cannot be forced to do this, or even explain why you haven't added pronouns?

I think I would be tempted to add a new version everyday.

he/him on a Monday, they/them on a Tuesday etc

It's easy to make them back off.

Me - Why do you insist on knowing my pronouns? You don't insist that I broadcast my sexual orientation or religious belief so why my gender?

HR - Some claptrap about making others feel better, policy, etc.

Me - Why are you forcing people to out themselves. This is so upsetting. Even having this conversation is triggering to me. I need to end this meeting.

HR - ends meeting.

I was brought up to think that I could dress how I wanted, do whatever job I wanted, and love who I wanted, and that none of these things would be dictated by the fact that I have a vagina

I was not brought up in this way but I remember rebelling against female stereotyping from a young age. I remember being told it was my job as a girl to wash up, while the males of the house sat around on their asses. I had to do it because I was a kid but inwardly I was fuming. I swore then I would never be told as an adult that I could or couldn’t do something because I was female.

All of this is very personal to me. I have a DD who at 17 decided (with some not so subtle pushing from a trans support group) that she was male. 18 months later she changed her mind. Luckily she hadn’t done anything medically. She had a male passport at this point but that was changed back. She never talked of it again and is now 30. She also has BPD and likely ASD. I supported her at the time because I love her but I was terrified she’d do something she regretted later. Luckily that didn’t happen. I know if she’d been working at the time and put “he” in her email signature she would have been worried about how to change that back when she changed her mind.

It's the latest woke bullshit bandwagon for the look at me crowd to jump on.
Might as well as people to declare their sexuality, religious affiliation, who they vote for and what football team they support for completeness just so we can avoid any misunderstanding or accidentally offend them.

www.mypronouns.org/sharing
One day you'll be in a meeting and as part of the intros as well as saying who you work for and what you do you'll be expected to.

@randomchap

Do it, identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee

This made me laugh!