Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

@Waffles80

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Ffs How is that bigotry ?

There is utterly no need for this made up tosh.

The name gives an indication of sex - there’s an occasional ambiguity in some names ( Eg Kim) but why would the sex of a corespondent matter unless you are suggesting that someone should be written to or treated differently on the basis of their sex - which is sexism. And the only bigotry on show here.

I don't think you are unreasonable. We've also been asked to at work but I've not yet done it.

The argument that is made for doing it, and I can see why, is that if everyone does it, those who do identify differently don't feel weird about saying how they would like to be referred to. It also helps people who don't have obviously feminine or masculine names.

Did she identify as cisgender or have you assumed that?

Well first you have to buy into the concept of "gender" - and lots of us don't. I don't have a "gender". I am female. I'm not a-gender, or pangendered or gender fluid or any of that bollocks - I am female and the rest of it is stereotypes.

I just wouldn’t do it. I like the answer that you are undecided even tho in my case I’m not “undecided” as I don’t have a choice-I AM female.

This is what 'preferred pronouns' leads to - women being outed, shamed and abused for speaking their mind.

^this

It’s actually a really underhanded request because that’s my what it seeks to do- “out the transphobes” but it operates under the guise of inclusivity.

How do emails assume you are male if your name is Jamie ? Pronouns are only used to refer to someone in their absence. In an email you would be speaking directly to the person, so no He/She required.

NBU. For reasons of stereotype threat and unconscious bias. Requiring you to announce you're of the sex our society treats as inferior is requiring you to open yourself up to sexist discrimination, to disadvantage yourself, and for whom?

Online is the one place we stand a real chance of hiding our sex and so being treated as fully human. I won't be complicit in taking that away for the sake of male people.

Putting your pronouns indicates that you agree that internal gender id is a thing and that you internally identify as female.

I don't. I feel like a person inside. Same as most people.

Some trans people don't like it as it forces them into a corner when they aren't ready.

If I had to I'd you with they, them.

I bet that my colleagues would still say she. Things like that are hard habits to break and they'd be saying it when I wasn't there.

Agree with Smallsteps88

Well first you have to buy into the concept of "gender" - and lots of us don't. I don't have a "gender". I am female. I'm not a-gender, or pangendered or gender fluid or any of that bollocks - I am female and the rest of it is stereotypes.

Thanks for the lesson
for the avoidance of doubt, that was my point.

you could say that you believe you may become a victim of sex discrimination
www.businessinsider.com.au/witchsy-founders-created-fictional-male-cofounder-2017-8
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-happened-when-a-man-signed-work-emails-using-a-female-name-for-a-week_n_58c2ce53e4b054a0ea6a4066?ri18n=true
or simply that now it's been brought to your attention, you'll need time to decide
medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266#.5ltnt3xws

I would just ignore. I wouldn't do this (and I get misgendered a couple of times a week), it is entirely irrelevant to how I do my job.

I'd say that I didn't have any - which is true. I honestly don't mind which pronouns anyone uses about me.

my/me/mine

@CatandtheFiddle

YANBU.

There is some research which shows that when women's attention is drawn to their sex by external means, they do less well in tasks.

There is also evidence that unconscious bias means that people identified clearly as of the female sex, are treated less well. (Why do you think that Joanne Rowling published as J. K. Rowling? Or why the Brontë sisters published under pseudonyms which didn't sound obviously female).

There's a thread over on FWR about this - maybe ask in there?

But long story short: this move disadvantages woman as a group - and women are a protected category ("sex") under the 2010 Equalities Act in the UK.

I really like the wording of that end bit : " this move disadvantages woman as a group - and women are a protected category ("sex") under the 2010 Equalities Act in the UK."

it sounds really professional and might give them something to think about themselves

You could ask for a complete list of pronouns to choose from.
When/if supplied ask what each one refers to.

I’d be very tempted to add ‘my preferred pronouns are I, me and myself’ to my email signature. I have a name whose abbreviation is used by both men and women, although my full name is I my email address; I sometimes have people phone and say I thought you were a man but it doesn’t bother me.

Can’t see really see the point of a preferred pronoun on an email- surely people are going to address you as ‘you’. If they’re talking about you, you’ll be none the wiser.

Pointing out I'm a she, specifying that in an email, just in case anyone wondered, in the male dominated market I work in isn't really going to help the advancement of women in my industry.

I have one of those Christian names that could be male or female. People either know which I am or it should not influence how they respond to me. Point that out to your team leader?

First I would ignore.

If pushed I would say, "there are studies showing that people perform less well in gender stereotypes activities if they are asked their sex before they perform those activities" as a PP said. Also bias by others based on sex.

If pushed any more I would refuse.

It's ridiculous virtue signalling which doesn't actually do any good and may cause harm. All the people I know that do it are right-on women (who would call themselves cis).

I also assume that anyone putting female pronouns in their bio is male.

I'm confused - in a professional environment you'd usually reply without gendered pronouns - Mr, Mrs, they, you, me, I etc.

This woudl seem to be more useful perhaps as context if someone then spoke to you informally or referred to you in the third person informally. But in that case why not just ask you?

Well since the whole point of gender is that it isn't fixed, just change it daily. And wait for them to tell you "you're being silly".

This was the thread I read on MN about pronouns in emails.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3970772-fully-outed-myself-as-gc-at-woke-workplace

@randomchap

Do it, identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee

😂😂