Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

She was born with a female body

You mean she has a female body. (If you’re born with one you’re stuck with it for life)

and identified as female

Verbally? As in she said “I identify as female”?

Is female a gender identity?

When this was suggested at my work, I responded that my pronouns are sex-based, like my oppression (nicked it from a fellow FWR MNer). I wasn't asked again.

I’m expecting this to happen at my place of work at some point. If I feel brave enough I will reply with something like:

Biological sex has no impact on my ability to do my job and has no relevance.
Gender is a social construct containing harmful gender stereotypes which I do not want to reinforce and I do no identify with.
Pronouns are used by other people to talk about me in my absence. I have no interest in controlling the speech of others.

Some other really helpful suggestions up thread I will incorporate if/when the time comes.

Good luck OP.

I wouldn't put my preferred pronouns. It's borderline forced, compelled speech. My pronouns aren't actually mine, I won't be there nor would I read what others say or write about me.

Draw your team leader's attention to three things:

1. Stereotype threat - where forcing a member of a minority's attention to focus on them being part of a minority makes them underperform in tests.

2. If the field you work in has any insitutional sexism (I work in STEM, so clearly this is the case for me), it can be very useful to women to have the option of not disclosing their sex - hence I can sign emails Dr. D Lasso if I want to.

3. It's not actually helpful to trans people - transitioning and coming out, especially in the workplace, is a difficult process for many, and usually they spend a long time thinking about it first. It's supremely unhelpful to force someone to out themselves earlier than they want to (or force them to declare pronouns they don't feel comfortable with if they're not ready to come out yet).

Then suggest the policy should be strictly voluntary.

[quote EyesOpening]you could say that you believe you may become a victim of sex discrimination
www.businessinsider.com.au/witchsy-founders-created-fictional-male-cofounder-2017-8
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-happened-when-a-man-signed-work-emails-using-a-female-name-for-a-week_n_58c2ce53e4b054a0ea6a4066?ri18n=true
or simply that now it's been brought to your attention, you'll need time to decide
medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266#.5ltnt3xws[/quote]
This. Don't mention trans issues - which aren't actually why most women object to this - if preferred pronouns genuinely helped trans people without disadvantaging women, I'm sure no one would object. But the fact is that drawing attention to women's sex in the workplace reinforces discrimination. So your objection is nothing to do with trans people; it is because of the disadvantage to another group with protected characteristics: women.

Tell them you identify as CEO of the company.

I find it incredibly amusing that these people want to be referred to as 'they' rather than 'it' if they don't want he or she! So they would rather be a plural rather than an individual person!!!

I just wouldn't do this.

1. As others have said there is plenty of research that drawing attention to one's sex disadvantages women.

2. There is no need for me to draw attention to my sex at work. All that matters is my capabilities. There are times my sex does matter. This is not one of them.

3. But also it feeds into a gender ideology that I disagree with. Pronouns are about an internal individual sense of 'gender' (whatever that is) and I consider the ideology around that to be harmful. I do not consider myself to have a gender and I shouldn't be forced to pretend I do.

4. If someone else feels it is important I know what their pronouns are - by all means tell me. But don't force me to subscribe to this ideology.

jesus, people really do find problems with everything don't they? just do it, or don't, but i don't see why you had to ask, if you didn't want to do it.

You can always ask what other protected characteristics you should disclose (eg “straight white female”).

@NoodleNooNoo

I’m expecting this to happen at my place of work at some point. If I feel brave enough I will reply with something like:

Biological sex has no impact on my ability to do my job and has no relevance.
Gender is a social construct containing harmful gender stereotypes which I do not want to reinforce and I do no identify with.
Pronouns are used by other people to talk about me in my absence. I have no interest in controlling the speech of others.

Some other really helpful suggestions up thread I will incorporate if/when the time comes.

Good luck OP.

I would do something like this.

Why should we tolerate what is discriminatory behaviour window dressed as supporting diversity?

YANBU. This is political correctness gone too far. I both cringe and snigger at colleagues who have done this.

The number of people on this thread who say they wouldn't have a problem about it and are confused as to why it's an issue is the reason why we are going to default into a new paradigm that erodes women's rights across all levels of society.

Don’t do it if you don’t want to but there’s no harm in it. It’s part of our suggested email signature for work. I don’t bother cause it’s not relevant, but my colleague does for clarity as people often mistake her for male when they just see her email address. It makes it possible for people to make their preferences known, which is a great thing in the workplace.

@MrDarcysMa

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

It's not that we don't believe in gender.

We absolutely do believe in gender and know how harmful gender stereotypes are to everyone but particularly women who are already disadvantaged in so many ways due to their sex.

Gender critical means that you reject the gender stereotypes.

And yes, I've always rejected gender stereotypes, it's nothing to do with people being trans it's to do with women's rights. Always has been.

I wouldn’t either, I have a clear feminine name

I might just be tempted to put ( pronoun Chloemol)

@SweetPetrichor it will do your workmate good, professionally speaking, if people mistake her for a man.

I teach so I sign off emails 'Mrs X' rendering it irrelevant, but I always said I identify as an individual and would use Name/Name's if pushed.

just do it, or don't, but i don't see why you had to ask, if you didn't want to do it. confused

Lucky you that you don’t see it. Sadly many of us have seen what not doing it means in some organisations.

“My pronouns are sex based - like my oppression”.

Refuse on the grounds that your sex or preferred gender is nobody else's business.

If you're feeling belligerent, you could always choose pronouns that are awkward to type like:

!($)%* / ¬`1>?

And if anyone asks how to pronounce them, just reply it's not your job to educate them. The more woke they are, the more they should appreciate your brave stance.

Followinf as I am in the same situation- Have been told that those who don’t do it are not supportive of non binary people.