Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

If I was Jamie I'd have continued to let people assume I was male so I could take advantage of some male privilage

I am the same - I am a female and I have a female body.

I am not cis-anything. Because I completely reject the whole "gender" thing.

@ManiPediNow

I'm sorry, perhaps I'm behind the times (I live abroad). What on earth is all this about? Why would anyone put pronouns on an email signature?

Don’t even try to understand it. Just stay in your happy world oblivious to the absolute shit show that is identity politics.

The argument that is made for doing it, and I can see why, is that if everyone does it, those who do identify differently don't feel weird about saying how they would like to be referred to. It also helps people who don't have obviously feminine or masculine names.

But see @SarahAndQuack's post about how that theory is often nothing to do with the actuality of people's identities and certainty about them.

My credit card only has my initials.
I am who I am
"preferred pronouns" is putting people in boxes

@PamDenick

Say you identify as male and sit back and wait for your 20% payrise.

love it!

I think sending out a team wide email requesting (but really demanding) that employing put their preferred pronouns in their signature could constitute a hostile environment towards trans* people.

The assumption is clearly that employees are either definitely not trans and can put their usual pronouns without a blink, or definitely transgendered and out of the closet about it and so can put their preferred pronouns without a blink.

What about people who are questioning and not ready to commit themselves, or people who have preferred pronouns that would out them as trans? This pronouncement is asking them to either lie or out themselves at work. Why should they have to do that because someone has attended a diversity workshop?

Is the manager going to demand all the gay staff put their sexuality in their signature in order to normalise homosexuality, as well?

There are some good suggestions here. I would probably ignore this at first, and then, if pushed, present a load of research including why it's important and means something that women can be defined as a social group, and if this is erased, is your company happy with erasing the meanings of race and disability such that anyone can be anything because they say they are? Because that's where I see this leading.

I'd like to think I was brave and also would attempt a good reply I read on here once ("my pronouns are oppressed, like my biological sex") but I'm sure I'd bottle it.

The word “cis” is not allowed on mumsnet I thought ?

I heard today that we are going to have equality training as an organisation. This was prompted by BLM, but the LBQT group is involved. I would imagine we will be requested to do this.

My first instinct will be to do nothing. If pressed I will respond as someone else suggested on another thread on this subject along the lines of....

Gender identity like sexual orientation or religion is none of your business.

GDPR has also been mentioned.

I would also ignore. You are unlikely to be pulled up on it and if you are then give a reason.

I saw someone on LinkedIn who actually had their pronouns not in their profile but as part of their name when they had a name that 100% matched their pronouns so no one could ever have been in doubt. I simply guffawed at the ridiculous virtue signalling of it.

I wouldn’t want to because it’s woke bollocks. People reply to my emails by name or write you. They don’t wRite “she asked me to look at”, they would reply “you asked me to look at”.

So it’s irrelevant time wasting guff.

You could always put “my pronouns match my biological reality” or similar

At my work, a group of us (who are more senior) were "invited" to add pronouns to our email signatures to "set an example and show support".

Or, as I interpreted it "if we can just bounce a few senior people into doing this, we can then portray this as the will of the company, and force even more people to play ball with our agenda".

I ignored it.

I have a unisex name that is more commonly given to boys and I would not want to do this. I would expect people to take to mind if I need to correct them from him/he but I would not want it in my email signature

(my email should be a bit of a giveaway as its mrsEnko@....... anyway :) )

I would not have an issue with others wishing to do so. Each to their own.

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

But 5 or 10 years ago, gender wasn't a "thing". You filled in a form, there were two boxes for male and for female. You weren't ever asked "how you identify" and you didn't have people making silly statements about doctors assigning sex at birth as if it were some sort of lottery.

I am undoubtedly female but I don't conform to a lot of the stereotypes associated with gender. That doesn't make me less of a woman. I have never bought into the "girly girl, pink and sparkles" and "boyish boy, camouflage and trucks" stereotypes, but I don't think I ever heard the loathsome term "cisgender" until about 5 years ago.

I was born with a female body and am female. If someone took it on themselves to identify me as cisgender I would consider that hate speech. I am not cisgender. I am not cisfemale. I am female.

I can't get people to spell my name correctly or actually not use an abbreviated version that I can't stand let alone get them to bother with pronouns...

So true, even worse when my name is already typed elsewhere in the email chain and it's still spelled wrong. Mine is also a name of which men and women use fairly equally, same as a PP people have often said oh I thought you were a bloke, I'm really not arsed. If someone were to pop their pronouns in their email signature I would respect them, but I wouldn't update mine.

@MrDarcysMa

Do the people who don't believe in gender not believe in gender all along, or only since the trans debate blew up?

Well, feminists have been fighting against the concept of gender since before any of us were born. So, yes, many of us have always objected to it, and even thought we were making some progress until, as you say, the trans debate blew up.

Nope I wouldn’t do that.

I work in very “woke” sectors and rarely see it; I’ve also never been asked my pronouns. Utter bobbins to make it compulsory- arguably also discrimination in itself; I.e. asking women to identify as she/her immediately puts them at risk of discrimination.

Tell them that this has unreasonably raised a serious issue for you because you are not sure how you identify and you don’t want to be outed before you are ready which may be never

Problem solved.

@Deathgrip

Tell them that this has unreasonably raised a serious issue for you because you are not sure how you identify and you don’t want to be outed before you are ready which may be never

Problem solved.

Brilliant!

What job do you do and what sort of clients do you work with? You could say reasonably that you don't want to overtly point out your gender if you work in an area where women are discriminated against. To be honest I don't really like this, it feels like it means my gender/sex is the most important aspect of my identity and needs to be explicitly stated. However I do get that for some trans people it could make things more comfortable. I wonder how people who non binary, struggle with gender identity feel.

Also I know people with the title Dr, Reverend and SGT/DI etc who may prefer not to immediately state their gender when contacting people they don't know in case this impacts on how they are treated.

The worlds gone mad

@randomchap

Do it, identify as Michael Jackson and your pronouns are he/hee