To think that you shouldn't buy presents for all of your children?

[Aqua2468]

I've seen this quite a lot on Facebook, it's a child's birthday and they're sitting there with a pile of presents and next to them their siblings sit with 1-3 presents each.

I've seen this from younger siblings and also seen it in households with older siblings.

I don't understand the problem with just allowing whoever's birthday it is to get presents and why do they have to buy for the other DC when it's not their birthday?

I completely agree. Birthday child only!

I often get the non birthday child a small gift - a book or something. My two DC have birthdays six months apart so I consider it just a small treat.

I don't see the problem with a token gift. Not two or three or anything expensive though.

We used to get a "helper present" every time a sib had a birthday. Each of us got a special job to do (set table/ice cake/hang bunting/blow up balloons) and then a present as a reward for helping. It would usually be something like a notebook or a pair of fluffy socks.

It was a really good way to keep the goodwill up for the birthday kid, keep us involved and stop any little kid tantrums. Worked perfectly, stopped when we were about 8 or 9, seems v reasonable to me.

Meh each to their own.

I think this is more confusing for little children 'they've got loads of presents, why have I only got one?'

Much easier to understand 'it's my sisters day so she's got all the presents'.

No never understood this idea, can only think people do it so younger kids don't kick off about missing out. How long do you keep it up for??? What ridiculous extra expense.

I don't understand why what other people choose to do with their own kids should bother you.

@FrenchtoEnglish

I don't understand why what other people choose to do with their own kids should bother you.

This. In bucketloads. Imagine making a thread just to bitch about other people's choices.

We get the other child a box of malteasers but they’re not wrapped or anything, just a wee treat.

Ridiculous. We had a birthday party for my DS and SIL brought presents for her DS “so he didn’t feel left out”. She said he’ll take a tantrum if his cousin gets presents and he doesn’t. Well let him take a tantrum? Then discipline him and teach him that he can’t behave like that.

We always had an “unbirthday” present - a small treat so we had something to open on the day. Worked for us, and we do the same for our kids now. Don’t get the angst about it tbh.

I think it depends on the ages, and why the gifts are being used. For the first few years after my brother was born I was also given a gift, I hated him and really enjoyed being an only child so it was the only way for my parents to keep the day civil until I was a bit older and could understand it a bit more.

I have only ever seen images of friends doing this when their children are all quite small (under 7) so have no issue, and tbh if they're not your kids why do you GAF about it?

My MIL was utterly taken aback that I didn't buy the child that wasn't the birthday child a present. Really quite horrified! I've never had any tantrums or green eyed monsters from the child whose special day it wasn't. They knew that they'd get their moment in the sun, just the same, when it was their special day.

We did this w ds2 when he was 18 mo and ds1 was 3. Saved a tantrum and by the following year he was old enough to understand that it wasnt his turn. Not sure he'd have learnt that any quicker by upsetting him tbh.

That said, I'm not sure it matters what people do as long as it's fair.

It teaches kid a nothing. Surely the treat is the party, or balloons or cake? That’s the part we all get to join in?

It does smack of parents unwilling to teach children manners.

As the kids get older, I find that they love giving their birthday sibling a gift they’ve chosen for them.

Yanbu birthday child only.

I've always bought an unbirthday gift for my kids. They've had enough to cope with.

Ridiculous. How do kids learn anything about taking turns, patience and basically not having it all their own way.

Yanbu - too many siblings for that ever to occur in our house. When I was a kid, siblings birthdays meant going to parties, party food and cake, games and that was fun enough in itself!!

I don't do it, but I really couldn't give a hoot if other people do.

I'm more interested in why people come onto MN to bitch about the things their friends do, does it make you feel superior if people support your POV so you can secretly look down on your friends with the back up of a load of strangers?

For us, it’s the one day a year that is special to the individual unlike Christmas or Easter so only the birthday child (or adult) would receive gifts.
One day for siblings to understand that their day will come. One day when the birthday child doesn’t have to share their new toys, any food gifts (sweets, chocolate, etc.). One day to celebrate someone else’s achievement.

I agree.
My kids who weren't having the birthday were happy with balloons to play with and child friendly food like cake and pancakes for breakfast which are a treat here

My mum did this when we were kids. It just made me dislike DB even more. It also took away from the specialness of having my own birthday when he was given a gift just the same. I always resented it, even as a little kid, that nothing was just solely mine. So I've vowed to never do it with my own kids.