To think that you shouldn't buy presents for all of your children?

[Aqua2468]

I've seen this quite a lot on Facebook, it's a child's birthday and they're sitting there with a pile of presents and next to them their siblings sit with 1-3 presents each.

I've seen this from younger siblings and also seen it in households with older siblings.

I don't understand the problem with just allowing whoever's birthday it is to get presents and why do they have to buy for the other DC when it's not their birthday?

Of course .

Wow.

You seem easily shocked

I'm not usually . So, do you bestow gifts on the one whose your current favourite, or how does it work?
I'm being nosy now, but I find it kind of fascinating...

Do you actually really want an explanation of why a parent might see something nice or needed for one child but not the other? How do you manage such situations? Do you feverishly search for a gift, any gift! for the other child, to make it "fair"?

I don't class things they need as presents. That's probably where we differ?

I agree it’s absolutely ridiculous, and in families where I’ve seen it done, the children have all been spoiled brats.

MIL did it with her two boys. Neither of them are anything like spoiled brats.

My mum didn’t do it, and my brother is the most spoiled brat I know.

There, I’ve balanced the anecdata for you.

Well needed doesn't necessarily mean not a lovely surprise now does it? For example ds needed a lap top for college. He wasn't expecting one and thought he'd have to use the college computers for a term or two, as he knew I couldn't really afford one but I managed to get a really decent one as a surprise for him so...

I didn't get one for dd as well though and she was just fine with it.

I think we do differ greatly yes and that's fine. I just wouldn't use those differences as evidence of someone else's bad parenting and claim that their children would turn out badly because of them, but that's just me I suppose.

Fair enough. I never suggested you were a bad parent, btw, you obviously aren't.

Oh I didn't say you did. You did kind of imply it though by suggesting I have favourites amongst my children and decide to buy them presents accordingly but don't worry I genuinely don't care what randoms on MN think of me but do like to challenge assertions by posters that children will turn out horribly if parented any other way than the way they would.

I'm off to bed now

We do and have done for 8 years. I will carry on doing it until they leave home! Why not? It gives them all a little bit of excitement at present opening time. It’s only a small couple of things but it also gives the siblings something to look at and focus on whilst the birthday child is playing or using their gifts.
All the main focus is on the birthday child. I love it as i get to see the happiness and excitement in all their faces.

Never did this with mine either , the other one gets their own birthday and its a day to feel special as such .
Bit like doing pass the parcel and having to stop at every kid etc

don't understand why people are equating getting a present to having a good day? Are you saying then your children won't have a good day without getting something material? How about the family all together, playing games, nice food, a nice cake, having fun putting up decorations and generally putting some one else before yourself. Do people have to bribe their kids to be in a good mood and think of others.

@Golightly133

My 3 Are all really close in age and I always bought a Little something for the other 2 so they didn’t feel left out and the other 2 didn’t Mither the birthday child. Worked for us and still does always buy them a little something It’s nice to be nice x x

My 4 are really close in age too but we never did this. No tantrums, no mithering. It's nice to teach your DC to think of others and learn it's not all about them.

@Sorberret

don't understand why people are equating getting a present to having a good day? Are you saying then your children won't have a good day without getting something material? How about the family all together, playing games, nice food, a nice cake, having fun putting up decorations and generally putting some one else before yourself. Do people have to bribe their kids to be in a good mood and think of others.

This is true.

This. In bucketloads. Imagine making a thread just to bitch about other people's choices.

Imagine making a comment just to bitch about other people's thread subject choices.

My elder 2 are close in age and play together all day everyday. I usually buy something that's given to the birthday child but will mean non-birthday child can join in with new games. E.g. if buying a doll play set I'll get an additional single doll that's given to birthday child but that I know non birthday child will play with.

@BubblyBarbara

It’s just another example of modern narcissism. Teaches children they are always important even if it’s someone else’s special day and to always think about their own happiness first

Actually I think it’s the opposite. If your kids are only allowed one day out of a year to shine or to feel important it’s a pretty poor shit show.

Obviously all these kids that are only ever allowed one day a year to be noticed they are going to grow up needy and attention seeking.

if you have a child that that would honestly harbour grudges and ill feeling because their sibling received a small gift you need to take them to a therapist.

What have you done to your kids

If your kids are only allowed one day out of a year to shine or to feel important it’s a pretty poor shit show.
Do you think the kids who are allowed to celebrate their birthday without their siblings getting in on the act are shoved in a cupboard and ignored for the rest of the year?
Your post is so ridiculous there's no real argument to be had, you've missed the point so completely.

I can honestly say I have never ever heard of this happening! Nobody I know does this ( as far as I know)
As it happens it's my son's birthday on Thursday but he wants money rather than presents (fair enough) I definitely will not be getting his younger sister anything other than the birthday takeaway she'll be sharing later in the day, nor would it have occurred to me! seems strange but each to their own I suppose.

PatriciaPerch

Thanks, they are not yet nearing an age to decide for themselves but he is doing a splendid job of teaching them who he is.

PatriciaPerch

Thank you. Me too.

I've not met someone who does so, but I don't think it's that big of a deal or would be a corrupting force of the child's character. Everyone celebrates differently. I find the posed wrapped gifts photos a bit more unusual, really, it seems very pagenty, I prefer taking photos of them using their presents.

On my kids' birthday, they get the first slice of cake and I get the second, having been the one to give birth. When they were all little, sometimes the angsty toddler went first or second to keep the calm, but now it's always in order (I always suggest their father gets third, but that's less reliable). It hasn't made any of grabby, it was just a little thing that made things easier then.

Being born’s an achievement?!
Surviving birth (for either the mother or the child), and surviving for another year, can be seen that way for some.

No respect for that families choices then? Just foist your own ideas on another family.
It's quite possible for people with different family choices to discuss the topic, it doesn't require foisting or being disrespectful. Not all of us who don't celebrate Christmas are against our kids taking part in December gift giving and traditions. I generally allow my kids to take in part whatever of other's traditions they're invited to that they're comfortable with and tell friends who ask that I prefer if gifts don't have Christmas paper or Christmas themes.