To think that you shouldn't buy presents for all of your children?

[Aqua2468]

I've seen this quite a lot on Facebook, it's a child's birthday and they're sitting there with a pile of presents and next to them their siblings sit with 1-3 presents each.

I've seen this from younger siblings and also seen it in households with older siblings.

I don't understand the problem with just allowing whoever's birthday it is to get presents and why do they have to buy for the other DC when it's not their birthday?

4 siblings
12 nieces /nephews
4 children
I've definitely never heard of getting presents for anyone who's birthday it isn't - doesn't that take away from the specialness of the birthday?
I'm staggered that this is not just one family on Facebook!

YANBU

Why do you even care what other families do for birthday's

Nope Christmas is a shared experience but birthdays are a special day just for that person

What if your birthday is Christmas day? Would it be OK then?

My brother's birthday is Christmas Day so my mother got them equally large presents on Christmas Day 'and' on my other brother's birthday.

It's hard for little kids when Christmas overshadows all their birthdays, until they understand a bit better.

It’s ridiculous. It just creates a generation of entitled children.....oh wait....

I couldn't care less about what other people do. I don't do it, but nothing wrong with people who do it. Why does that bother you, OP?

In our family (this is outing, hello Mum!) the non-birthday child would receive a box of Maltesers

@BluebellForest836

Why do you even care what other families do for birthday's

I care because it affect the social norms. If this becomes the norm I will be doing less than expected, people will ask/wonder why I don't get my other DC a present on birthdays. They may compare with other families. I feel life is commercial enough/ that most have enough stuff and more times where presents are expected just increases to the total stuff.

I’m only 35,call me old fashioned but I can’t believe the piles of presents for kids birthdays it looks like a Xmas pile.

@BluebellForest836

Why do you even care what other families do for birthday's

People have opinions on a multitude of things they don't care very deeply about. Haven't you ever noticed this?

@OhioOhioOhio

If you don't get why it needs 'coped' with then you've clearly not got children with a father who treats your kids like shit.

That’s true, I don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not being nasty, Ohio, but what's the relevance of your post? I don't understand it.

When ours were little the non birthday child would have had a token present - but we’re talking something like a £1 toy car

“It teaches the kids nothing “
Really? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Not everything has to be a lesson it’s a little present.
Parent your kids how you want and don’t concern yourself with other people’s.

I remember once it being my sister’s birthday, and an aunt bought me a multipack of vests as a gift so I didn’t feel left out. Even aged 7 I remember wondering what she’d been thinking, as it wasn’t my day, and still wonder why she thought a multipack of vests was the choice of gift...

Nope Christmas is a shared experience but birthdays are a special day just for that person

How do you stand with a Christmas birthday then? Shared experience or special day just for that person?

It can be difficult enough getting presents for the birthday child. Time and money limitations I mean. Why add to that by buying for the siblings too? Mad!

@trappedsincesundaymorn

Nope Christmas is a shared experience but birthdays are a special day just for that person

How do you stand with a Christmas birthday then? Shared experience or special day just for that person?

Is that a serious question? 🤣

It's hard for little kids when Christmas overshadows all their birthdays, until they understand a bit better

Then they realise that they are expected to give people presents on their birthday.

@MintyMabel

I think you shouldn’t if you don’t want to. I think other parents should do whatever they want to do.

Exactly this.

I don’t do this, with 4 children I thought they all deserved a day a year when it was ‘all about them’. I do remember my aunt doing this for her 3 children when I was young and my gran and mum went along with it to keep her happy (she was a tricky character). Really wound me up that it wasn’t reciprocated for me on my sister’s birthday, and I can remember to this day my sense of injustice as a young child!

I love how people justify it as a’token’ present as if small children understand the monetary difference in the gifts?

youwereagoodcakeclyde Well said!!

Crikey. We had this a couple of times when we were very small - as PPs said, like getting a 2 year old a present "from the baby" when a new sibling arrives.

It is not something we've done as parents, but if that's your worst parenting crime over their whole childhood you're doing a damn sight better than most of us.

Imagine making a thread just to bitch about other people's choices.
Congratulations- you've just invented Mumsnet!

Exactly this ^

Plus when don’t “other people’s choices” have a ripple affect somewhere along the line?

“A man started throwing rotten fish at me!”
“Well that’s his choice, don’t bitch about other people’s choices!”

18 months between my DC and both sets of grandparents started the 'tradition' of buying a gift for the non- birthday child as they thought the child wouldn't understand why they weren't getting presents too.
I'm ashamed to admit I joined in with this too.
DC are now 9&10 and this has carried on- and escalated as presents become more expensive. It's really out of hand.