To send my 6 year old into the shop?

[whenwewereyoung]

My DD is 6 - 7 in October. Quite often I will drive her to the spar and send her in for things while I stay in the car.

I send her in with a little list and also sometimes she has to get electricity on the key which means she has to speak to the person behind the counter.

She enjoys this and feels very grown up and proud of herself doing this, I think it's teaching her a bit of independence and she knows I am just outside if she needs me.

However, my friend has suggested this is too young and is pretty "horrified".

AIBU?

Not at all.

I often got mine to pay for things and ask for things. That way they can learn they are capable.

I know some senior school now teach this to children, because parents don’t!

I agree with you. It teaches independence and as she's nearly 7 she's old enough to follow basic instructions like that.

I think it’s probably ok. I’ve let nearly 6 year old DD to the paying with me at a distance. I don’t know if I’d trust her to select items yet. If it was a small shop with a single exit and I could intervene quickly if she didn’t come out as expected, I think it would be fine. All children mature at different ages and all parents will tolerate different levels of risk.

I lived in the middle of nowhere growing up (three houses and no shops around for miles). It made me such a nervous adult, for example the first time I ever went on a bus was at 17 years old.

To get to the point - I don't think starting them off young like that is a bad thing. You're outside and it's a bit of independence and learning what to do. I think it's a good idea personally.

Why would your friend be horrified?

I think it’s ok to do it occasionally for HER benefit. But doing it all the time starts to look like it’s for your benefit and that she is a young carer with too much responsibility. So yes, some sweets or a pint of milk. No to putting electric on the card or regularly running the errands. Children like helping, It doesn’t mean they should do too much too young.

Maybe under normal circumstances but where social distancing is required and six year old is exempt from wearing a mask totally not the right time to be doing this

I think it’s fine. What aspect of it does your friend not like?

No, too young if you're not even going into the shop with her.

You're right outside in the car, I think it's fine to send her alone. When I was 7 I was walking to the local shop (less than 5 mins walk) on my own to buy sweets.

@ScrapThatThen it's definitely not all the time, sometimes we go in together, other times just me and she stays in car. She isn't forced to go in and wouldn't be allowed in a big shop alone, like Sainsbury's etc.

Now is not the time

@mysteryfairy she does wear a mask

You’ve just made me think it’s time I got my 6 year old doing that! Really good life skills to teach them.

I'm horrified that she's horrified, but not surprised. A friend was once shocked I let dd who was 5 at the time request and pay for her own bus ticket. These are essential skills. Not like she's going to go on and buy booze and fags, I can't see where the issue is!

Wow I certainly wouldnt at 6, and wouldnt be encouraging lone children in shops in this current pandemic. Maybe it's area dependant.

My friend has said she is far too young and what if there was a fire, a robbery etc 🙄 very dramatic

I’ve always done this op, it teachers them responsibility.
Dd is now 11 and can pop to the shops for things, order food and drink at a restaurant/pub and is a lot more independent.
It makes me very proud as she is also autistic.

I let my 5 year old ask for things and pay in shop. She loves doing it, gives her a feeling of independence and she’s extremely confident in asking adults a question if she needs to which is a great skill. Can’t see the harm as long as you’re close by.

Aww I think it's quite sweet and she obviously likes it. No problem there whatsoever.

The word 'horrified' is bandied about so much though. Is she a Mumsnetter?

I don't necessarily think YABU, maybe your friend thinks that 6- 7 seems like a very young age. Especially as your dd doesn't seem to be doing quite simple transactions that you would expect as you say she is also asking for the added electric thing at the counter, I'd say that's quite advanced.
This has made me think I should be preparing my dd8 to be able to do this though.

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

Wow I certainly wouldnt at 6, and wouldnt be encouraging lone children in shops in this current pandemic. Maybe it's area dependant.

No, it's parent and child dependent.

@whenwewereyoung

My friend has said she is far too young and what if there was a fire, a robbery etc 🙄 very dramatic

You're right outside and I'm sure the shop is small enough that if there was a fire she could get out okay or you'd have warning from the smoke alarms to go in and get her.

And when was the last time a local SPAR was robbed in the daytime?

Yes, bad things can happen in life, but the chances are so small and you can't live life based on these small chances. Otherwise we'd live in fear the whole time.

I think it must vary by area. Small known child in village shop wouldn't bat an eyelid

Small child on own in shops near me more likely to get asked if they're okay and where their adult is!!!

What is complex about buying electric? Isn't it just asking for an amount and handing over money?