To send my 6 year old into the shop?

[whenwewereyoung]

My DD is 6 - 7 in October. Quite often I will drive her to the spar and send her in for things while I stay in the car.

I send her in with a little list and also sometimes she has to get electricity on the key which means she has to speak to the person behind the counter.

She enjoys this and feels very grown up and proud of herself doing this, I think it's teaching her a bit of independence and she knows I am just outside if she needs me.

However, my friend has suggested this is too young and is pretty "horrified".

AIBU?

Is that allowed re contactless payment? I mean I know many of us do the same but I wonder the legalities of it all.

@Yarboosucks

I think some of the more harsh YABU posts on here are missing the point that you are outside the Spar.

I think at 6 this is fine as long are you are outside.

Probably closer than we were when we were inside a big Sainsburys watching DS at the kiosk ...

I think in NORMAL TIMES, if you're outside this small shop, it's fine (as long as she really is confident, sensible and not messing about) but right now? Nope. We're trying to keep excess people out of shops FFS, there was a reason why supermarkets were asking people to try to avoid shopping with their kids where possible! And sensible though she is, can she really be trusted not to touch things, not to rub her nose if it itches and them touch things? Now is not the time - does that really need explaining?

@Runnerduck34 I park properly with the engine off, where I can see the door. It's a small shop which we have been going to for years.

I don’t know whether it is technically illegal but it will be against the terms of your agreement with the bank, so if any issues arise from it you won’t be covered and I assume they could withdraw the card.

@LizzieMacQueen

Is that allowed re contactless payment? I mean I know many of us do the same but I wonder the legalities of it all.

Well in theory, no. But there's a whole discussion to be had about how far parents should go in bringing their own children up. Personally I'd happily have taken the smacked wrist for breaching the T&Cs if it helped DS with a life skill at no risk to anyone else. (I wouldn't have given him the card and PIN though .....)

@PinkDye

Whenwewereyoung - ignore the haters

A saying comes to mind - “don’t make your children handicapped by doing everything for them”

You’re not doing anything wrong, people on here acting like you sit at home with your feet up while your 6yo drags shopping around

A hater is someone who disagrees ?

Too young in my opinion. It just seems lazy on your part.

The important thing is that she is happy doing it, and that she doesn't feel that she HAS to do it. It doesn't sound like this is the case - you say she is proud and that you do often go in with her. Nothing wrong with fostering a bit of independence if she's shown she's ready for it and feels supported. I'm sort of assuming this is a local shop where people know her and you - I can imagine doing this with my DD when she's older as we live in a village and bump into people we know all the time. She's nearly 4, and my DH sometimes gives her the money and let's her go into the bakery (tiny shop, she's not out of sight and can't touch anything because it's all behind counters) on a Saturday as a little treat for her so she can choose what she wants. The owners know us well and know that DH is just outside and can see her.

@GlomOfNit mess around how exactly? Yes I trust her not to touch everything.

@ineedaholidaynow

I don’t know whether it is technically illegal but it will be against the terms of your agreement with the bank, so if any issues arise from it you won’t be covered and I assume they could withdraw the card.

Well .. yes. But parents get to do a lot of things that sometimes break rules (look at the Titanic discussion ongoing in this forum). So it's really down to judgement.

I think the posters calling 'lazy' are being really lazy in their thinking here.

The OP talks of how grown up and independent it makes her daughter feel and how much she enjoys it.

But yeah, let's just go with lazy 🙄

Usually I would say that's great. I started encouraging dd to pay at the till, ask for the bill in a restaurant or buy her own bus ticket at a similar age.

I'd only be wary at the moment because so many adults are crap at maintaining social distancing in shops which would make it harder for a young child to keep away from adults (assuming they'd even remember themselves; the younger children at school are pretty rubbish at it).

@KorkMum

6 year old sent to do the shopping on their own I'd probably report this to social services if I'm honest.

She's hardly being sent to do the week's food shopping on her own. If the child likes to do it, the shop is small and OP watches from outside - What the hell would interest social services?

I might be being pedantic but how far do you live from the Spar that you cannot walk together?
You are instilling a valuable lesson in independence in your child, could you possibly instill another useful life lesson and that is to walk more?
Personally I would be inclined to go in the shop with your daughter and let her do the ordering whilst you are alongside her for support.

@crimsonlake yes you are being pedantic. You know nothing about how much we use the car/walk and it is not relevant to this thread or my question.

I'd not be happy with it at all. I'd go in with her, allow her to find the items and ask for the top- up but I'd be there at all times.

I work in a shop and little children love asking and paying for stuff.

@Spied why not?

Sure, all my 3 loved paying for things at the tills at that age. Buying a pint of milk or a box of shreddies while Mum waits outside is very exciting when you’re small.

You know nothing about how much we use the car/walk and it is not relevant to this thread or my question

Eh. But it allows her ample opportunity to show how her parenting is So Much Better than yours ;)

I've done this with my eldest 4 kids at age appropriate times. They all enjoyed it. DS is 10 and can easily be trusted to go to the shop for bread and milk if it's needed, or used to nip for an electricity top up for PIL.

Haven't started it with my 7yo yet as she's a day-dreamer. Was building up to it then lockdown happened.

It's all about the child op. If your DD is mature enough for it then it's fine. People often get shirty if your child does something younger than their child, especially if it's walking somewhere alone or doing something alone, yet they never have any issues about the things their child does before yours.

People are often very anti children doing things alone. You'd have thought I suggested DS move out to his own house by the reactions when he started walking to and from school alone because it's apparently no longer the done thing until Y6. As long as you, your DD and the shop are happy with it it's absolutely fine.

I think it is excellent and I'm sure your child likes doing it.
Don't discuss what you do with your friend!

It's fine. My eldest has just turned 5 and I will sometimes give him his own money and tell him to choose something to buy, help him figure out how much he can spend and then supervise him paying for it. I should do this more often actually.

I would have no safety worries over me standing outside the shop and him going in to choose something and pay for it but he's not at the stage yet where he won't mess around or something so it's probably something we will build up to.

Sounds fine to me. Good idea, encourage independence if the kid is ready.

Could never have done this with our oldest at 6. Our younger walks down the road to the village bakery with a bag, money and a shopping list. I did ask them first if they are okay with that.