To send my 6 year old into the shop?

[whenwewereyoung]

My DD is 6 - 7 in October. Quite often I will drive her to the spar and send her in for things while I stay in the car.

I send her in with a little list and also sometimes she has to get electricity on the key which means she has to speak to the person behind the counter.

She enjoys this and feels very grown up and proud of herself doing this, I think it's teaching her a bit of independence and she knows I am just outside if she needs me.

However, my friend has suggested this is too young and is pretty "horrified".

AIBU?

Nothing horrific about this, I raised my eldest 2 like this and and I'm doing the same with my youngest. It's good for children to know you trust them.

It's a massive no from me, right now.

@serialreturner how come?

My nephews 6 and thinks hes a dinosaur. He could never do this so think YABU but your child may be mature.... I dont know any 6 year olds who could do this it sounds neglectful to me and like you cannot be bothered to go with them.

When I was 7 I was walking to the local shop (less than 5 mins walk) on my own to buy sweets

I used to buy tobacco for whichever family member wanted it. I got paid with a bag of mixed sweets from the change.

My Mum used to be sent to the pub for a jug of beer.

Kork, yep fairies here. Or into octonaughts and likely to talk non stop at anyone who speaks to them about octonaughts with no social boundaries.

I dont know any 6 year olds it would be fair to do this to!

How does she pay?

Not at 6 as mine would have come out with a bag full of sweets.
My 7 year old has been ordering for himself in restaurants since he was old enough to speak clearly, and has paid in shops (and pubs) with my support from a distance.
A new Co-op opened a 3 minute walk from our house yesterday. No major roads and he has asked if he can go on his own. He is 8 in October so I have said after xmas he can, hoping the pandemic will have calmed down.

Definitely not right now. You are putting the onus on the shop staff to supervise her and ensure she follows social distancing, hygiene guidance etc with no parent around for them to speak to. Not fair on the staff. Get out the car and supervise her.

We got DS buying things for himself from the age of 5ish ... He was able to go up to the kiosk and get himself a chocolate bar (19 years on and he still likes Freddoes ). We'd keep an eye from a distance. We felt it was good to learn to make decisions (we just gave him the money so he could choose) and get used to paying and getting change.

As others have said, life skill, really.

By 13 he was able to go off in a shopping centre with a few quid and buy his own clothes. And he has excellent taste ! (Still does).

6 year old sent to do the shopping on their own I'd probably report this to social services if I'm honest.

My 7 year old hasn’t done that yet but I feel she should be as I saw a young boy in Lidl with a list doing the shopping and it made me think it’s a great way to enhance their confidence.

My grandad made me do things like go to the local post office to pay his bills or buy milk from the shop and I was young. It worked for me and my reward was to keep any change leftover. I felt able bodied, it’s a good feeling.

I think it’s great

We've done ordering in restaurants and keeping an eye or standing nearby.

But sending a 6 year old into a shop alone and expecting them to socual distance/find the right goods/pay (not sure they'd reach the counter in one coop near me!) Seems wrong.

Especially as shops dont want cash currently.

6 year old sent to do the shopping on their own I'd probably report this to social services if I'm honest.

Kork mum - she doesn’t do the shopping, the mother states she waits outside the shop. We’re not saying we would send the kids on their own but to wait outside and send your child in to get a bread or milk is a good skill. Makes them less nervous too and they’d be proud of it I bet

Your friends need to get out more

Usually I’d say if you were outside and could see her at all times no issue but given the pandemic going on and SD etc I’d not send a child shopping alone.

You can independence in many other ways.

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

We've done ordering in restaurants and keeping an eye or standing nearby.

But sending a 6 year old into a shop alone and expecting them to socual distance/find the right goods/pay (not sure they'd reach the counter in one coop near me!) Seems wrong.

Especially as shops dont want cash currently.

One of the quiet benefits of contactless is that you can give a trusted child the card ...

@KorkMum

My nephews 6 and thinks hes a dinosaur. He could never do this so think YABU but your child may be mature.... I dont know any 6 year olds who could do this it sounds neglectful to me and like you cannot be bothered to go with them.

Just because you don't know any mature 6 year olds, doesn't make the OP neglectful

Open your mind a bit.

My niece is 3 and she loves taking her own candy to the till herself, some kids enjoy these little bits of independence. I’m with her of course but she likes to do it herself and I’ll pay

I think it’s great-mine, 7&10, have been doing it for during the last year. 7yo has the lack of social boundaries mentioned upthread and will chat to anyone so this is an opportunity to teach her about appropriate limits and different forms of interactions.

My daughter is five and a half and I think I might try this at our local spar.

I don’t think I’d send her in herself yet but I think I could supervise her choosing what we need then paying with my card. She loves a wee bit of freedom and independence.

At that age? I wouldn't send her in alone, no. Especially not at the moment. It seems odd to me. Kids can learn by helping even if you're in the shop with them. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

6 year old sent to do the shopping on their own I'd probably report this to social services if I'm honest.

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I am all for encouraging independence but surely she can do the list and stuff with you in the shop with her? I’m not sure what is gained by sending her in alone.

At the moment particularly I don’t think it’s fair on the shop to be sending a child in alone.