To send my 6 year old into the shop?

[whenwewereyoung]

My DD is 6 - 7 in October. Quite often I will drive her to the spar and send her in for things while I stay in the car.

I send her in with a little list and also sometimes she has to get electricity on the key which means she has to speak to the person behind the counter.

She enjoys this and feels very grown up and proud of herself doing this, I think it's teaching her a bit of independence and she knows I am just outside if she needs me.

However, my friend has suggested this is too young and is pretty "horrified".

AIBU?

I would be very concerned about seeing a child this young in a shop unaccompanied . These days though many people would be reluctant to say anything to her because of the very thing they would be worried about happening to her !

What could you imagine or worry about happening to her in a tiny corner shop with her mum waiting outside the door?

Lol, no, I think you and your child are overexcited about how grown up and responsible they are because 6 feels a lot bigger than 5; and when your youngest is 10, 6 will feel ridiculously little to you too.

YABU. 6 is too young to be buying electricity and shopping lists. Paying for sweets or the shopping with you there, fine. Waiting in the car not fine and lazy. 10 is more appropriate to teach them to shop. I certainly hope you haven't been doing it recently. I haven't even let my teenager go into a shop since March, certainly not my 6 year old.

I think generally it's fine and I certainly used to do this from the age of about 6 (that was a tiny rural village shop though).

At this particular point in time I don't think I'd send in my child in these circumstances though just because he sometimes needs to be reminded etc regarding social distancing, not touching anything he isn't buying etc. Wouldn't judge any parent for sending theirs in though as long as they were well behaved.

@whenwewereyoung

People are so dramatic on here, "wandering around a shop", "giving her a shopping list of more than a couple of items".

I give her a list to help her remember so she doesn't get stressed out trying to remember, so something along the lines of

Bread
Butter
Sweetie

I'm hardly giving her my weekly shopping list and having her get that for god sake. As I've said also, this small corner shop has two aisles, not sure how much "wandering" she can get up to in such a small shop.

I feel that the ridiculous comments I am getting on here stems from other parents who are perhaps insecure about their children's maturity levels or mollycoddle them.

You asked for other people's opinions and you don't like them so just carry on what you are happy doing . You are now starting to slag off other people possibly as a defensive action . Just go with what you want to do .

Come on guys, the OP has been attacked enough. Enough is enough, stop the bullying.

For what it's worth OP I think you should keep doing what you're doing, you and your daughter sound great and your daughter sounds like a very mature, sensible girl whom you trust.

I am a child psychologist and think this is great, setting her up for confidence and self reliance in years to come. Going into the shop and watching her gives her the subconscious impression you do not trust her.

You hit the nail on the head when you said other posters were projecting their own insecurities as parents upon you. Ignore them, you are doing a tremendous job

I'd worry about the electric key just because she's going to have ?£10-20 on her, which I think maybe tempting for others. Buying sweets/milk would be fine.

But I'm not a parent and you know your child and the shop better than me!

I'm old, but we used to get our pocket money on a Saturday and allowed to the sweetie shop to spend it by that age. It was round the corner, the shop knew us many of the neighbours knew us, there was no roads to cross. I definitely remember doing it from about 4 or 5 but may have been with my older brothers when I was very small.

A concern with prepayment meter cards/keys would be losing the key itself. When I was a child I was a bugger for losing my front door key.

I haven't even let my teenager go into a shop since March

If my teenagers were incapable of going to a shop for bread or milk without breaking social distancing or touching stuff they weren't going to buy I'd be concerned about my parenting.

I think this is absolutely fine, you are outside and she gets a little bit of independence and feels very pleased with herself

But then, I used to walk to the corner shop by myself at that age (probably 10 minutes away) and get my mum's cigarettes for her (£1 for a packet of 20 Embassy No 1)... this was the 1980s but still

@Bananabread8

Too young. If I was in a shop and witnessed a little child purchasing electric via key.... in would honestly wonder what the actual fuck... where is the mother. I think it looks quite bad tbh.

As an aside, why "where is the mother"? Fathers get a free pass in your view do they (apart from the fact that this is all nonsense in any event).

I haven't even let my teenager go into a shop since March

Your expenditure on cotton wool must be massive!

I feel that the ridiculous comments I am getting on here stems from other parents who are perhaps insecure about their children's maturity levels or mollycoddle them.

Seems like your defensive attitude stems from your guilt over your lax parenting skills.

Wow. I'm a bit surprised by the comments. I think your daughter is learning great skills for the future.

I'm afraid that many of the kids these days are over protected. Letting a child learn with a parent nearby is a a great thing in my opinion.

We've signs up in a lot of shops in Ireland saying children must be accompanied by an adult. 6 seems nuts to me!! The people who say chances are tiny of anything happening, honestly do you say that about everything, or the excuse that you're teaching them skills? Let them pay at the counter, or help unload the shopping.

Letting a child learn with a parent nearby is a a great thing in my opinion.
Not nearby, outside in a car.

Letting a child learn with a parent nearby is a a great thing in my opinion.
Not nearby, outside in a car.

What is your definition of nearby if not practically outside the door?

I don’t think your friend should have shown she was horrified as it’s your child so your choice.

But personally I wouldn’t let my nearly 6 year old go alone into a shop - but that’s my choice so I’m not judging u at all. I think it comes down to my insecurity and experiences as a child. If I had a different childhood maybe I would let her go alone into shop but I’ve seen and been through loads of shit. In my mind I would be thinking it’s so easy for a worker to quickly drag my child into the store room at back or anything. Anything can happen in space of 5 minutes. But that’s MY feelings due to a messed up childhood. Do whatever you feel comfortable with and assess the risks and benefits yourself. I definitely wouldn’t say to a friend not to, but inside I would be thinking what I just wrote.

Have You considered maybe your friend may also suffered a traumatic incident that is triggered by you telling her you let your child go in alone sometimes? I think we often need to dig deeper into people’s reactions. Not everything is as black and white or on the surface if it makes sense

I've done it in the past in tiny shops where I can see her from the entrance. I wouldn't be doing it in a spar. You could glance down at your phone and someone else walks her out etc etc.

What is your definition of nearby if not practically outside the door?
Well for 6, in the same room at least.

What is your definition of nearby if not practically outside the door?
Well for 6, in the same room at least.

You don't let your 6 year old out your sight at all times? Mine will often pop in to a shop while I wait outside with the dog. My 10 year old walks from home with a full list now. I can imagine it's quite limiting always needing to be in the exact same space still at 6

@lyralalala

I haven't even let my teenager go into a shop since March

If my teenagers were incapable of going to a shop for bread or milk without breaking social distancing or touching stuff they weren't going to buy I'd be concerned about my parenting.

It's MN. 25 year old "children" aren't capable of buying their own sweeties in the corner store.

You don't let your 6 year old out your sight at all times?
Well Idont follow him around the house but in a shop no, he'd stay with me. We haven't been a lot since covid though