AIBU or are grandparents being ridiculous?

[Thesaltandthesea]

First world issue. I am very hot and very pregnant and have been feeling very unreasonable all day.

DD8 has a wetsuit she bought with her own pocket money. She keeps it at my mum's house because they’ve taken her sea swimming a few times recently. She wants to go sea swimming tonight with her two best friends (and adults, all competent swimmers). She phoned my mum to check they were in so we could go pick it up along with her bodyboard. My mum was like “yeah that’s fine” and then her husband shouted in the background “no it’s not fine she needs to keep it here”. Cue floods of tears from DD and my mum hanging up and refusing to answer the phone.

1. I’m having to deal with the fallout of an upset DD who has been looking forward to seeing her friends for the first time in months all day
2. I need to explain to DD's friend's mums that her grandparents won't let her have her wetsuit
3. We cannot find anywhere locally with a wetsuit in stock (not that I feel we should be replacing it - no 8 year old needs 2 wetsuits ffs!)
4. I’m convinced my mums husband is very controlling. Not saying my mum is in anyway blameless but this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

So, am I being unreasonable to be really pissed off about this or are they being hideously unfair?

Go round and get it

Just go round there and pick it up. If he says anything just point out that it's your DDs property, paid for by her, not them.

He does sound very controlling.

Why does "she need to keep it there"?

It's her wetsuit not up to them to keep it, I would go round & get it.

Go and get it.

They are being ridiculous.

Go and get the wetsuit. If she bought it with her own pocket money, they don't have the right to withhold it from DD.

They are being hideously unfair.

I agree, go round and get it. It’s not their property, they have no right to keep it or say what happens to it.

Go round and remove it. She paid for it with her own money they have no right to keep it!

Why does he get to say where she keeps her own wetsuit?

I'm not sure if I've missed something but is there a reason you can't go round and just get it.

Who the fuck does your mum's husband think he is? I would be texting your mother and telling her you will be there shortly to retrieve your daughter's property. I would also go without your daughter in case you need to tell that overgrown manchild to fuck off.

Go (without Dd) to get it. She paid for it so why can't she bloody have it?

I guess I just hate confrontation or any drama. We can't exactly break into their house to get it if they won't answer the door! Which given they won't answer the phone seems possible. My mum and I aren't particularly close but I facilitate a relationship with DD. Now questioning if that's the right thing to do.

Go and get the wetsuit.

Just go and get it and tell them you will be keeping it at your home from now on

I'm horrified! Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I guess I just hate confrontation or any drama.

Come on, now. You're an adult, not a child, and you should be sticking up for your daughter.

They're mental. You can't think this is normal behaviour? That's just stealing. What on earth are you letting them have your DD unsupervised for? I shudder to think what she is witnessing. What does her dad think? Please don't say this man is her only male role model.

I wouldn't be facilitating any relationship if this is any indication of how much your mother thinks of her.

There isn't even a reason she can't get it, other than the husband saying so. It would make me wonder what other spiteful shit he does when you're not around since your mum won't stick up for your dd.

Go round and get it and wait for your mum to make the next move.

Well he sounds like a nasty bastard, I'd be going round there and getting it and if they didn't let me in I'd be kicking up a fuss. How can he think it's ok to deprive a kid of her own property?

Absolutely go and get it, don't give in to your mother's husband ridiculous demands. And once you have it back in your possession, keep it at yours: it's your DD 's property, so no reason to store it at granny's.

How can asking for a child’s wetsuit be confrontational?

Hi we’ve come to pick up DDs suit, well she want to use her suit, thanks.

No drake needed

Do you think he may have misunderstood what was being asked? What reason would there be for not letting her have it? She could drop it back afterwards if they're that worried about it. Weird.

I wouldn't be facilitating any relationship if this is any indication of how much your mother thinks of her.

This. It's your daughters wetsuit not theirs, go get it and tell your mum she either sorts herself out or loses the relationship with your daughter.

I hate confrontation but I hate my kids being disappointed and hurt more.