To ask SAHM’s, do you tell your husband/SO where you are in the day if you’re going out?

[CDWM]

Whether it is going to the shops, supermarket or going for a pub lunch, do you inform your husband/SO of your whereabouts? This applies to those who have children who may be with them in the day, or children who are at nursery/school meaning you are on your own in the day.

Not really no. Maybe a general overview of plans if it comes up in conversation, but nothing more than that.

I may mention it but never feel like I have to. If I'm not going to be back before he finishes work I will generally tell him. He's not bothered either way.

Yes, I also ask if he needs me to pick up anything when I'm out.

But I do not have any reason not to.

Not the same if you are in any type of abusive relationship.

Maybe in general conversation, but not as in heres my schedule so you know what im up to

That’s a very strange question. Why are you asking? Are you in a controlling relationship?

I’m on my own a lot in the day at the moment. Dh and I both chat about what we’re doing so he’d know I was shopping but “informing him of my whereabouts” has connotations that don’t match our relationship.

Only if he's asked me if I'm going shopping and he tells me if we need anything.

What a curious question, is it asked because you think a SAHM is on the husbands payroll?

I tell him roughly where I'm going just in a conversation. We're both working from home full time now so it would be strange to just walk out and not say where I was going.

Mine works from home a lot so yeah I’d usually pop my head round the door and say ‘I’m off to x’ or something. If he’s on a call or otherwise engaged then no I wouldn’t bother.
He doesn’t expect me to tell him where I’m going.

Not really. Sometimes we text during the day to see how the other is doing and I might mention in the conversation that we're out or when he gets home he will ask about my day. I never feel the need to keep him up to date on every outing though.

Nope, might mention my movements if we talk about our day when he finishes work but otherwise no.

Why do you ask?

Do you mean if they (SO/DH) are in the house or they are at work? If they are home at the same time then I'll say I'm going out. If they are at work then no i won't always say if I'm going out e.g. dh is at work today and I've dropped clothes off at a clothing bank and I've been to Home Bargains. Dh doesn't know I've been out and doesnt really need to know until later and we're having a chat

If he's working from home, I will mention that I'm going out. Likewise, he'd tell me if he was going anywhere. If he's out of the house at work though, I wouldn't make a point of telling him I was also going out.
I think I'd only mention my plans specifically if I was not going to be back in time to feed the cat or get the DC from school and wanted him to do it.

Yes, but he always works from home so i'll shout something like 'just taking the kids to the park' up the stairs before we go out

In our house it is DH who is the SAHP, he tells me generally what he is up to if it comes up in conversation, such as he will say planning on going to tescos for a bit if shopping after dropping kids off do you need anything. Or going round so and so's house after school so may not be in, do you want to meet me there or you coming straight home etc

Yeah if DH was out at the office I wouldn’t keep him updated as to my movements. I would probably mention where we’d been that evening in conversation.

No, if it comes up in conversation I'll say "oh I'm having coffee with X on Thursday" or "Me and DD are going to the zoo tomorrow" but he has a terrible memory and works lots of night shifts so generally it makes no difference. If he gets up and I'm out he might ring and ask me to pick him up something from the shop but it's definitely not a "thing" here. Same with him if he goes out.

Why are you asking?

A couple of decades or so since I've been a stay at home mum, but even in the 90's I didn't tell my husband what I was doing that day unless it came up in conversation. Thankfully he never seemed to need to know either because he wasn't/isn't controlling.

He also didn't give me a list of jobs to do, didn't get annoyed if dinner wasn't on the table on the dot of 6 and didn't run his finger along the mantelpiece to check for dust.

We both have a day off every week with DS. Generally we would mention what we were planning to do, and have a chat in the evening about whatever we did, who we saw, how DS behaved. For us it doesn’t seem controlling in the slightest

If he was in the house with us I would mention where I was going because it's just good manners and takes literally seconds.

No. I might mention it in passing when dp gets home as a how was your day type of thing. He does with me but we certainly dont tell each other where we are going if one of us is in work or something.

Both home together we will tell each other that we're popping out to so and so and wont be long just out of courtesy really.

Must be a reason why you ask op?

He tends to ring when he has a coffee break and normally asks what we're up to, just to make conversation really.

No, he’s not the boss of me!
I might text & tell him, but very few & far between.

Maybe if something interesting or somewhere unusual.