6 year old DD asking if I love her or my boyfriend more

[Lilyh229]

Name changed for this post. I've been a single mum to my 6 year old DD her whole life and met someone a year ago. DD does like him but has had her jealous moments. Recently she has started asking if I love her or my partner more. I have been answering that I love them both but in different ways but my mum thinks I should tell her that I will always love her more than anyone else in the world (which is true) so she feels secure. Looking for advice please, this is my first relationship in a long time

The OP hasn't been back, which isn't exactly a surprise. If this thread is genuine, I feel for the little girl, with her mum not being able to say that her 6 year old DD will always come first and that she loves her to the moon and back. That's what a 6 year old needs to hear.

My husband and I both love our children more than we love each other and the children know that. We don't talk about it often but surely that's normal.

@MrTumblesSpottyHag

Yes its normal to love your children more than your husband.

It's even more normal to love your children more than a bloke you've been dating for a year!

I can’t believe your answer when she asks.

Why wouldn’t you just tell her you love her more than him?

Surely you love her more than him so why not just say that?

Yours is a very odd response, IMO

Your Mum is absolutely right.

It's horrendous that you feel the need to ask this question. Your daughter should always come first.

I know and had to stop being friends with someone who sent their six year old away to live with their grandparents due to a partner 'not liking' them. Reassure her. Romantic love is changeable and shouldn't even compete.

Jeez I've bloody heard it all now.

People who love their 1 year boyfriend as much as their kids. People who love their cats and dogs as much as their kids. Good grief.

@Fressia123

You sound like an absolute whack-job.

And if a pet died, we’ll imo that’s just no where near comparable to my DH or children. I’m sure I’d be sad but I’d get over a pets death.

Well, seeing as it's obvious that you will lose a pet at some point, as the lifespan of a cat or dog is usually 15-20 years (cats on average do live longer), if you're going to grieve each loss like you would a close family member, then you're going to be doing a lot of grieving. And you have to be able to make the tough decision to have the pet PTS if it comes to it (and it usually will at some point).

I was very upset to lose the cat that had been my faithful companion when I lived on my own in my one bedroom flat before I got married and through the time when I'd been infertile until my DH and I finally adopted DD1. Sadly, she couldn't cope with that and her health went rapidly downhill until she had to be PTS a year later because at 13 and a half and ill, the vet made it absolutely clear that she wouldn't cope with being rehomed, and told me that having her PTS was the kindest action for her.

I did grieve for her. But I also was able to make that decision for her.

Whereas I can't imagine being without my 2 DDs (now 11 and 8). It's a completely different kind of love, and even trying to compare the love for a close family member to the love for a pet is ridiculous.

Love her more, always. She won't have another mother & needs to hear that from you. You could have any number of boyfriends.