6 year old DD asking if I love her or my boyfriend more

[Lilyh229]

Name changed for this post. I've been a single mum to my 6 year old DD her whole life and met someone a year ago. DD does like him but has had her jealous moments. Recently she has started asking if I love her or my partner more. I have been answering that I love them both but in different ways but my mum thinks I should tell her that I will always love her more than anyone else in the world (which is true) so she feels secure. Looking for advice please, this is my first relationship in a long time

You love your dog as much as your kid?

I tell my kids every day I love them more than anything or anyone else in the world, because that's the truth, and DH feels the same. Of course, we love each other, but we absolutely love our kids more. That's quite normal I believe, so yes, I'd say you tell her that x

I do! My mum does too (as in her dogs) I don't take any offense, love isn't something you can quantify.

It's true though, I wouldn't be able to quantify who I love "more".

You wouldn’t be able to quantify who you love more between your children, your boyfriend, and your dog?

Wow. Some people shouldn’t breed.

Tbh there was a thread on here the other day where people were falling over themselves to say how much they love their dogs more than their kids only on MN

Fuuuuck. You do love your dog as much as your kids. Ok. Your poor kids.

Wow, tough love for your child is it 😂 bet she feels loved 😳

Exactly @PumpkinP

I tell my daughter (she's 10) that my love for everyone is the same but different. (It includes my DP -not her dad- , her brother and the dog). It's true though, I wouldn't be able to quantify who I love "more".

Really?! I love my DH and my parents etc. but I 100% can quantify that I love my children more. How do I know this? Because if there was a fire and I could only save my child OR my DH, I would save my child. I can’t quantify which child I love more though because I would never be able to pick between saving one of them over the other. I can honestly say I love my children the same.

I get it's not for everyone, but I was raised that way (so was my sister) and we all love our dogs /cats the same as any other family member, it's just a different type of love. And my grandma was the same so!

@Fressia123

So who would you save in a house fire if you could only get one and they were all trapped- Your daughter, your Dog or your boyfriend?

Perhaps you need to spend some time alone with her and make her feel special and loved, lots of hugs and kisses and laughing together, if your all together make sure shes included and make her your priority even when your bf is around

Crikey they're out today aren't they! If you love your dog as much as your actual child then you've got issues dear.

The fact that you even need to ask this question gives cause for serious concern.

Your daughter obviously feels insecure and worried about her place in your life and your affections. You need to ask yourself why. What is it about your behaviour towards her or towards your boyfriend that has caused her to doubt you?

I love my DS more than anyone else and I will always tell him this. No way would the love for a partner even come close.

@nestisflown she'll be one of those lunatics that dresses the dog up in outfits and pushes it in a pram, for sure.

Probably my daughter, but justifying or from the POV that the dog doesn't have much left to live, my partner/husband from the POV that he's already lived some years and my daughter has her life ahead of her, that seems fairest to me.

But I'm really, really surprised that some of you tell your partners and children this! It's disrespectful and can't exactly do wonders for your relationships.

Only if you're with a manchild. My husband is an adult and quite content knowing his position on the how much I love you scale, ie between the cats and the rabbit.

@Fressia123

Probably my daughter, but justifying or from the POV that the dog doesn't have much left to live, my partner/husband from the POV that he's already lived some years and my daughter has her life ahead of her, that seems fairest to me.

"probably' your daughter. Christ.

@ Fressia123 wow that’s crazy that you would actually consider it in terms of “fairness”. If my husband saved me over one of my children in a fire, as it was “fairest” for the surviving children to still have a mother, I would divorce him. I can’t believe any parent wouldn’t be absolutely sure they would save their own child over anyone or anything else.

Fressia123 must be taking the piss. A dog . Holy fuck, hope that's not true

I get it's not for everyone, but I was raised that way (so was my sister) and we all love our dogs /cats the same as any other family member, it's just a different type of love.

You love them the same, but different. So not the same then.

I don't see the point in those thought exercises. My dad does say the dogs have a better life than him. I guess they do! My mum has a FT carer just for them (they're 4 and big) . All jokes aside I don't see any problem in saying that love isn't quantifiable and there are very different types of it ie fraternal, paternal, romantic, etc... Can I say who I love more my mother or my dad? My son or my daughter? I can't.

fressia124

I can't believe you even included your dog in that post. How cold.

I tell my kids I love them more than anything or anyone in this world...and my children are young adults.
Why are you even asking?