To think your mum shouldn’t be at the birth?

[WhoWhatWheree]

Discussion with my DP, I think my mother does not need to be at the birth. He believes I am “weird” and most women want their mothers present.

YANBU= Your mother does not need to be present during the birth.
YABU = Your mother should be at the birth of your child.

Over my dead body!!!

This one is highly personal. I didn’t even want my mother in the building. Others find support from their moms. I don’t think either approach is wrong.

People who should be at a birth - the mum and baby

Anything else.... up to the mum

Depends on the woman. I needed my mum there and couldn’t imagine doing it without her but a lot of people have a different kind of relationship.

They neither should nor shouldn't. It's a personal choice. I had mine there but that doesn't mean I think you should.

Absolutely needed my mum there. She was far more supportive than my then dp. It's so personal it's hardly worth asking though.

I cant think of anything worse than having my mum there while I gave birth, and neither can she. We are very close and everything but I have boundaries and so does she.

No way would I have my Mum there.

No way, I get it if the father isn't in the picture, or there are very good reasons he can't be there though

For me personally, there is no way I would want that. I am very private and would be uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't even get changed in front of her. We just don't have that sort of relationship

But they aren’t the only options - she obviously doesn’t need to be there, for that matter neither does your husband technically the only one essential to the process is you. There is no ‘should’ when it comes to your birth it’s just based on individual preference. I didn’t have my mother there but I’d say my group of friends are pretty evenly split on wanting their mother there or not.

Okay, he’s said I’ve phrased it incorrectly- “Would you have your mother at the birth?” Is his question... I personally would not have her there and it seems as though most agree with me🤷‍♀️

There is no should or shouldn't. It's up to the woman giving birth.

I dont think either is wrong, as long as it's what the women wants.

I didn't have my mum there though, and she never gave off any desire to be there.

I think it comes down to personal choice. While some women would want their mothers there others would want theirs as far away as possible.

This entirely depends on the woman and the mum.

Some mums would be great as a birthing partner. Some mums would not. It’s not something you can make a blanket statement about.

I really regret not having my mum there. The father of my dc doesn't even talk to me, so I have nobody who to 'reminisce' with.
I'm really close to my mum and ex dh got on really well with her, so it would have been no bother having her there, we would have both appreciated her support!

I personally believe that the only people who should be at the birth are the people who were at the conception plus the minimum amount of medical staff.

I personally wanted my mum there to support my DH as his mum couldn’t. The midwives took care of me and the baby really well - right up to the moment I had to go to the postnatal ward. At that point I really needed both of them.

Absolutely would never want my mother at a birth or even visiting soon after! I can imagine that people would differ though. Nothing is unreasonable, it's entirely the women's choice.

@WhoWhatWheree

Okay, he’s said I’ve phrased it incorrectly- “Would you have your mother at the birth?” Is his question... I personally would not have her there and it seems as though most agree with me🤷‍♀️

Still over my dead body.

Totally personal choice but I loved having my mum there. She was calm and reassuring and so much more helpful than my husband who didn’t know what to do. My husband felt better with her there too.

It's not that she should be there, but I'd personally have my mum every time. It's a personal decision.

Could not think of anything worse!

My friend had her dad but its because her bf had left her. And her dad brought her up as a single dad to 3 girls.. To me that seemed special and sweet. Otherwise she'd of been alone..
He ended up being there for all 3 births as she felt it would be unfair he wasnt part of 2 but was of 1. Despite she was married etc by then

People do what's right for them. If you don't want her there. Then don't there's no right or wrong. Just personal choice

God I can think of nothing worse than having my mum there. No way at all. But I have friends who found it very helpful.

Personally, if I were doing it again I'm not sure I'd even want my husband there except right at the end I suppose. I liked it best when I was alone. Everyone else just pissed me off.