To think your mum shouldn’t be at the birth?

[WhoWhatWheree]

Discussion with my DP, I think my mother does not need to be at the birth. He believes I am “weird” and most women want their mothers present.

YANBU= Your mother does not need to be present during the birth.
YABU = Your mother should be at the birth of your child.

Poorly worded OP.

Some women choose to have their mother present and there’s nothing wrong with that.

My mum was with me with my first but I was 18 and alone so I had no one else. With the second I wouldn't have wanted my mum there and I doubt she wanted to be there.
My best friend wanted her mum there though. I find that strange.

My mum was, I wanted her there.

@mileyrose, that's why I said it was my personal belief. Everybody else can do what they want!

I had my mum (and DH) at my first birth and if it comes to it and I have to have a hospital birth and only 1 birthing partner this time round, I plan to have her again. DH has been very understanding and agrees with this...she used to be a midwife so I'd feel safer with her there! Plus I think she kept us both calm and kept telling us what would happen next. Had to have stitches but my mum had gone to get us food, the midwife didn't wait for the local to kick in and I was in absolute agony. There's no way that my mum would have let them suture me until it had kicked in!

I would not, but my mum is a nightmare. I FaceTimed her from my recovery room after my c-section she she could see the baby and she told me I could start losing weight now I'd had him

Haha my mum and dad were both there!!
Not at the very last bit, but for the 4 hours previously
My friend had 3 of us in there, wasn’t planned that way, but we were all helpful to her!

My mum was with me when i had DS. DH had a hospital phobia and would have been useless - he had panic attacks when he had his own appointments. I found her really good company, apart from telling me to stop swearing because "the midwife does not come to work to hear language like that"!!

My mum isn't my idea of the support needed during child birth. My DH and I were the only ones needed there.

I had both my children alone (apart from medical staff, obvs).

DH was working and couldn't get back in time.

I don't even think having my mother there would have helped.

In retrospect, it might have helped a bit. But she didn't show much interest so meh.

I was 22 and afraid when I went into labour 5 weeks early. I was scared and wanted my mum. DS's dad was worse than useless and the relationship wasn't great anyway. I gave birth with a room full of professionals and my friend in the end and it was my mum who held my hand. By the time Ds's dad arrived it was all over. probably fastest labour in history, I was only in there an hour when he was born

Have who you want. I've had three kids, my husband and the doctor/nurses were the only ones in the room with us. I would have felt weird with anyone else.

Absolutely no way

My mum was at all 3 of mine

I couldn't think of anything worse than my mother being at the birth.
DH got me there and DH sure as hell was going to see it through.
Seriously though - I wanted the person closest to my baby and me holding my hand and that was my DH.

I don't know about "shouldn't" I didn't want mine there but I understand that some need/want their mum present, doesn't have any impact on my life what so ever - each to their own.

I expect most women do agree with you OP, but not all women have a partner or close friend they would want with them, and their mother might be the closest person they have.

Mothers at births seems to be more of an American thing in general though.

The only person that should be at the birth is whoever the woman chooses. Could be mum, could be sister, could be friend. Her choice.

I've been at both my daughter's births so far - the first one she went into theatre so her then partner went with her as only one other was allowed. The second one I was there until the end and it was one of the most traumatic but amazing things I've ever done - worse than giving birth myself but I'd never have not been there knowing she wanted me.

She's due again soon and this time it'll just be me - I'd love her to replace me but I can't see it happening

I had dh at the first three...
Then before I was even pregnant with no 4 my friend had happened to comment that she would love to see a baby being born.. so I invited her to mine!

She arrived when I was close to delivering, was company for dh and said it was one of the best moments of her life! She'd had three so wasn't the least bit phased by seeing me, naked and grimly hanging on to the gas and air :D

My lovely Mum on the other had would have panicked....

DD2 is marrying shortly and has already said she'd like me there when she has a baby. I'd consider it an honour but certainly wouldn't assume anything!

Depends on your relationship with your mother. Mine has been present at the birth of all 5 of my DC and I couldn't have done it without her. She even had the right to make medical decisions over my DP as I trusted her to see my POV

I had my mum at mine because DH is crap with blood and needles and anything medical. My mum has had 5 babies, so is well versed in what to do.

In the end I was high as a kite for most of active labour. I barely remember there being other people in the room. At least Mum was there to keep DH company I guess. If there's another, Mum will have DD and it'll just be me and DH.

Stupid thread - as completely personal preference.

If it works for you, then great! And if not... Well, it doesn't.

My mum was at home. She came the next day with my dad :)

I had my mum at ds's birth. I had no other option apart from doing it by myself (single mum with no close friends), but if I did it again she would absolutely not be invited. Even 16 years later I still feel regret that she was there.

She was no help, she cut the umbilical cord when I said to her and the midwife that I didn't want her to (I was too tired to physically stop her), then refused to drive me home, or drop off the car seat so I could get a taxi, because she needed a rest. There was also some drama about having to take the stairs to the ward because she didn't want to go in a lift, can't remember why.