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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell people that my twins are five?

608 replies

lukasiak · 23/07/2020 03:09

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

OP posts:
Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 23/07/2020 03:12

Why not just round it down to 4? They're pretty much 4.5! With the difference that 5 months makes when so little, personally I'd agree with your husband.

HeartShapedBox · 23/07/2020 03:12

It's a bit odd,why not just say they're "nearly 5" or "5 in November"?

Sheenais · 23/07/2020 03:13

Everyone rounds up when a Birthday is close. November is not close. I think your husband has a point.

PaquitaVariation · 23/07/2020 03:14

It’s just a very odd thing to do! They’re not 5 yet, November is quite a long time off still. Why would you not just give their actual age?

Miafey · 23/07/2020 03:17

That's really odd of you, what's the point?

JaneJack23 · 23/07/2020 03:19

They are 4 and a half. Just say that. When they are 5 say that they are 5.

ifigoup · 23/07/2020 03:20

I think that’s weird and I’m with your husband.

teaflake · 23/07/2020 03:21

Team DH!

Original poster
lukasiak · 23/07/2020 03:22

@PaquitaVariation

It’s just a very odd thing to do! They’re not 5 yet, November is quite a long time off still. Why would you not just give their actual age?
I don't know. I think it's related to their birthdays, because I do the same thing with Ds16 and Dd13 (real ages). As soon as Ds's February birthday passes, Dd gets a year slapped on her age too, even though her birthday isn't until October. For my twins, it seems to be linked to dd3's March birthday. I think I just count their ages up from there. They're two years (rounded) older than her, so I just add two years.
OP posts:
RaisinGhost · 23/07/2020 03:25

Depends who is asking surely? Family members and friends would already know and wouldn't need to ask. If it's a doctor or nursery staff say age accurately. If it's someone in a shop etc just say whatever comes to mind, it doesn't matter.

As a baby my ds was big for his age so if anyone asked I say he was older. Also people often thought he was a girl, I saw no need to correct them. They are just making conversation, not wanting your life story.

Winterwoollies · 23/07/2020 03:30

This is such an odd thing to do. I’m with your husband on this. Just say four or four and a half. Why on earth do you add two years to your other one’s age?!

Josette77 · 23/07/2020 03:30

It's weird... They are not 5.

worstwitch18 · 23/07/2020 03:32

I think a lot of people round up within a month or so of the birthday - but until November is a long time.

MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue · 23/07/2020 03:33

My daughters birthday is in November and she is definitely not 4. She is 3 and a half.

I agree with your husband. It's an odd thing to do.

LadyMinerva · 23/07/2020 03:33

Why not just tell people that they are 58 months? Or 232 weeks?

Nonotthisagain · 23/07/2020 03:35

How bizarre... So when your ds16 turns 17 in February your dd13 becomes 14 even though her birthday in October is 8 months away?

I know you've got 5 children but just remember their ages fgs

Justgivemewine · 23/07/2020 03:37

Just say they are 4 1/2 if you are that bothered, yabu to say they are 5, they are not.

BritInAus · 23/07/2020 03:43

This is really weird. Why on earth not just 'four'? Or, when the birthday is actually near 'nearly five?'

As for 'slapping on' for a November birthday following a February birthday - so weird!?

I don't see why you wouldn't just do the easy thing. Someone asks how old a child is - reply with how old they ACTUALLY are. It's like you've created this system to make it feel easier, when surely the easiest thing is to just say their actual ages?!

user1493413286 · 23/07/2020 03:48

My DH does this and it irritates me (probably more than it should) as they aren’t that age and I don’t get why he says it. I agree with your DH though as it makes people expect more out of them then is fair

RedRumTheHorse · 23/07/2020 03:49

Not only will people have behaviour expectations about them but also schooling expectations. When your "7 year old" twins can't read basic picture books fluently people will think you have dumb children and are a crap parent.

Durgasarrow · 23/07/2020 03:49

They are not five and they aren't even close to five. It's July. November is four months away. Is this thread even for real?

NeilTheBaby · 23/07/2020 03:52

That's really weird. They are 4, not 5. Even if it was a week before their birthday and I asked you how old they were I'd expect you to say 4 or something like 5 next week, still not 5 Confused

Do you have trouble answering other factual questions correctly?

Hercwasonaroll · 23/07/2020 03:53

This is batshit. I literally can see no reason for doing this at all. Just tell people their actual ages. November is ages away!

minipilling · 23/07/2020 03:56

This just made me think of that part in Matilda:

'you're only four years old'
'I'm six and a half'
'you're four'
'six and a half'
'five then'

but in reverse!

Beautiful3 · 23/07/2020 04:07

I'm with your husband. I'd say 4 too.