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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell people that my twins are five?

608 replies

lukasiak · 23/07/2020 03:09

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

OP posts:
Sparklyring · 23/07/2020 06:01

What a strange thing to lie about! They're not 5, or even close so why on earth would you say they are?!

BritInAus · 23/07/2020 06:06

Do you tell people the correct names? Or call Emma (for example) Emily, as it’s fairly close?

dobbyssoc · 23/07/2020 06:11

How strange. I don't understand why you do it, even with your 'explanation'. They're 4 so say they're 4

Janleverton · 23/07/2020 06:13

I’m with your husband here. I think it’s weird and wouldn’t round up - would say nearly 5 until they actually ARE 5.

YoBeaches · 23/07/2020 06:14

This makes zero sense. You're dh is right.

userabcname · 23/07/2020 06:18

My mum does this to me and it's so bloody irritating! Please stop!

Mydogisthebestest · 23/07/2020 06:18

This is very odd.

They’re not 5 until their birthday.

Why would you do this?

Toomboom · 23/07/2020 06:19

I find this very odd. I have never heard of anyone doing this before.
They aren't five, they are four. Allow them to be their right age.

transformandriseup · 23/07/2020 06:19

I never get why people round up so I am with your DH

IsoBordem · 23/07/2020 06:20

Omg my own mother did this and still does! As soon as you have your birthday she starts rounding up to the next one! So the day after you turn 30 she starts saying “you’re almost 31” or “you’re 31”. She does this with everyone but her own age is normally accurate. It drives me nuts!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 23/07/2020 06:21

It's odd, I have a November born child and she's the age she is, not rounded up. What happens if you go to a tourist attraction that is free for under 5s? Will the twins be confused and argue they are 5? At this age months matter in terms of development, I'm 100% with your DH.

Singlebutmarried · 23/07/2020 06:21

If you say they’re 5 the expectation is that they’ll have a year is school under their belt and be going into year 1 when in reality they’re just starting reception. There’s quite a difference.

Your husband is right

Megan2018 · 23/07/2020 06:22

Definitely weird and wrong! I agree with your husband. Stop it, it’s not semantics, there’s a big difference in young children especially.

Smelborp · 23/07/2020 06:23

I’m with everyone else, this is so weird. It’s even weirder to do it with your DD when she’s still 8 months from her birthday, it’s nowhere near close!

ArthurMrdr2 · 23/07/2020 06:23

If someone asks you how old your child is its because they want to know how old they are now, not how old they will be in nearly half a year.

trevthecat · 23/07/2020 06:24

This might be the most bizarre thread. I didn't know this was a thing. Your twins are 4! Not even nearly 5

My2catsarefab · 23/07/2020 06:25

My DS is 14 in November. If someone asked me how old he is I'd say 13. If you asked me the day before his birthday I'd say 'He'll be 14 tomorrow.' If you asked me now or next week or next month I'd say 13. Because that's how old he is. I don't stick a few extra months on to save 5 seconds of time by saying 'He's 13 but will be 14 in November' 🤷‍♀️

gingerbeerandlemonade · 23/07/2020 06:25

I would say they are almost 5....

Scottishgirl85 · 23/07/2020 06:26

This is so weird! They're 4!

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 23/07/2020 06:26

Its wrong,
birthdays are important
i remember being most put out when i visit a nurse in the health centre who kept saying i was nearly 40,
i was 10 months away!

it seems unfair to call them 5 when they are not yet

WaffleCash · 23/07/2020 06:27

Very weird, especially at this age, 5 year old equals just finishing reception at school, 4 year old hadn't started school (in England usually anyway)

ChaoticCatling · 23/07/2020 06:27

I started rounding my DSs age up in my head at the start of a new school year when he was younger. He was young for the year and most children were already that age at the start of the year. I remembered to say the right age though.

CodenameVillanelle · 23/07/2020 06:27

Yeah it's a weird thing to do and I would be annoyed as their other parent too. They are 4, not 5. People understand that each age encompasses an entire 12 months, there is no need to 'round up' as they approach their birthday. And they aren't even approaching their birthday! Weird.

CodenameVillanelle · 23/07/2020 06:30

Also, do they not get the specialness of saying 'I'm 5!' On their birthday, because you've told everyone they are 5 for the past 6 months?! That's a big deal for small children. You are robbing them of their moment to go up a year by fudging their ages. Stop it.

GertiMJN · 23/07/2020 06:31

I think it weird and confusing all round.