To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

Oh my god I do this. I’ve always wondered why I do it but it never occurred to me that other people would find it annoying. I shall stop forthwith 😀.

That is really an odd thing to do.

I have an aunt who routinely says she is 1 year older than she is. She says it is becuase she does not want her real age to sneak up on her.

That's odd too.

Weird. They're 4 until they're 5. Or you could say nearly 5 about a month before their birthday.
What an odd thread.

I think it's just odd, it's better to say 4.5 or nearly 5 surely? I will say "nearly ..." When people ask close to their birthdays usually.

I'm in agreement with other posters that this is quite possibly the weirdest thread I've seen. It honestly sounds like you're doing it because you cannot be bothered to care enough about when their actual birthdays are.

Poor kids must be super confused about when they were actually born and what having a birthday means. It's pretty pointless for them to even celebrate as they will have 'been 5' for months already so their birthday probably feels unimportant and just another day.

Yep definitely weird.
My parents used to do this to us all the time. Drove me mad. Like you weren’t even in control of your own I formation, you were whatever narrative they told you you were.

I hated this when my parents did it. I’m mid September and every summer holiday I would become 7 or whatever even though I was 6.

Better yet let them answer.

Actual ages here. ie 10 in December or 9 and 1/2 etc

For my twins, it seems to be linked to dd3's March birthday. I think I just count their ages up from there. They're two years (rounded) older than her, so I just add two years.

But they are not two years older, they are 17 months older which rounds to 1 year older.

My DDs (esp the younger one) are always asking how old they have to be in order to do some, and then calculating how long. Saying they were random ages would confuse them.

If it was just a month or so before their birthday, it would make sense... But not 8 months before.

I started doing this with my own age in my mid 20s
No idea why tbh. Lol
I don't do it now and I never did it with DD. I guess it is a bit odd.

It’s a weird thing to do. Several months do make a big difference to development at that age. So a 4.5 year old is quite different to a 5year old. Won’t they be a bit confused on their birthday celebrating turning 5 when they’ve been 5 for months according to you?

They are 4 not 5. This is odd. I get it when people say oh they are nearly 5 next month but not 4 months away

"I do the same thing with Ds16 and Dd13 (real ages). As soon as Ds's February birthday passes, Dd gets a year slapped on her age too, even though her birthday isn't until October."
As soon as your DS becomes 17, you will unilaterally decide to say your DD is 14 when she really won't be 14 for another 8 months? I'm sorry, OP, that is a very strange thing to do. YABU.

I think you should start using their proper ages because others will place higher expectations on all your children if you over-state their ages. Also, if my DH did this and refused to change, it would annoy me behind measure. It really is a big deal.

I believe my friend's mother did this so much so that when my friend was in her 30's she actually added 2 years to her actual age.

It is weird, when children are small the half and quarter are acceptable although these days I tend to just say not quite 5 1/2 rather than 5 1/4.

Birthdays are important. Stop this madness now.

I'm with your dh on this. If my dh started rounding my dd's age up so massively I'd always butt in and correct him. You need to stop it. It must be confusing for the kids too.

Very strange, I would like to know at what point in the year you round your own birthday up? It is even stranger to do it the academic year ahead (assuming you are in England). Everyone will assume they have been in reception already. Can't you just say 'nearly 5'.

The only place where I might do anything like that is on MN within a few weeks of their birthday when it doesn't really matter if they are 12 and 11 months and three weeks or just 13 when it comes to expectations about tidying their rooms. Plus on MN things are slightly more anonymous so a slight fudging of ages is quite common. I would never do it in real life and my dc would correct me if I did.

No, no, no. Stop it.

I'm 49 in November, not 49 now.

I do this with my own age - my birthday is November, and I generally think of myself as being that age from January. But not with my child, a few months makes a big difference when they're young!

I actually don’t just think it’s weird in a kooky cutesy sort of off the wall way.

I’d go further than that and say that it’s an actively horrible thing that you are doing to your children.

They are 4. They haven’t even started school. Developmentally the months between now and then make a huge difference.

Why does your March born daughter get hers acknowledged properly but you then start lying about the age of your twins? You do realise in March they are actually closer to being 3 than 5 in terms of months? (Although I don’t recommend you start saying they are a year younger either and lying about that too!).

5 years ago did you have two babies that you were caring for or were you pregnant.

I’d be furious if it was my spouse doing this and your husband is in the right with his feelings. You are lying to others and gaslighting your own children.

Allow them to be the age they are and allow other to treat them accordingly with consideration for their actual age and abilities.

I just say nearly x or x in August whatever

If you’d said “nearly 5” I’d probably ask “oooh when is their birthday?” If you then replied “November” I’d think you were absolutely crazy. It’s nowhere near November, it’s such a strange concept. Just say their actual ages! It’s really not that difficult!

I would say "nearly" next birthday when they are something and three quarters.

With DD1 being summer born though I always in my head consider her the same age as her friends who are born earlier in the school year.

Oh, I recognise your name now.

You are the pushy sports mum who gets your children to hold out their hands so you can slap them and shuts the gate on them at the ice rink with the attitude that they can “Skate or Freeze”.

It all makes sense now. I feel really sorry for your children. You sound controlling, abusive and like you don’t see them as individuals.