To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

For a five year old 6months is a tenth of their total time experience. So do you tell a nearly fifty year old that they are five years older than they actually are?

That's an odd thing to do. Like you are wishing their time away. They are ages away from being 5. Most people might, in October, say they were "approaching 5" but not actually five until they are!

I do this but only within a couple of months at most of a birthday, not almost half a year

It just seems bizarrely dismissive of your children. Its such a simple thing, why wouldn't you just acknowledge their ages? Do you also call them by different names to what you named them??

A child's name, gender and age are the three key things folk use to create an impression of then as individuals. Incredibly strange to just erase one of those three things on a whim.

YABU and your husband is right.

This is very weird, how is it more difficult to say 4.5 instead of 5? Your DH is right, this would get on my nerves too. My DD is 6 months but by your standards is 1y. For 6 months she is appropriately developed, for 1 year old, she'd be quite small and behind. A few months really does make a difference. I also don't see how it isn't confusing for the child to be honest!

They are 4. Why would you say they are 5?!

This is the strangest thread I’ve ever read.

You have 4yo twins hun.

What about your own age? Would you say you're 40 when you're still 39.5?

They are 4 right up until the day of their birthdays - why not just tell the truth?

In general conversation I have just started to round my eldest daughters up to 14 but her birthday is next week not months away. Even now I'll quite often say "nearly 14". I don't understand why you lie about your children's age and agree people will have higher possibly unrealistic expectations of your children if they think they're older.
Your husband is right. Just be honest about their age.

Is your maths really poor, so that you can only calculate their ages by knocking two years off their older sibling’s age, so that when she has a birthday six months before theirs, you have to ‘upgrade’ them to the next year?

This is the first time I have heard of this. Normally I just grind my teeth when people do it the other way round and say that their child is just a baby and say 46 months.

You do realise that when you say they are 5 when in reality they are four that other people will assume you mean 5 and a bit so people could be adding about a year to your children's real age.

Mostly this doesnt matter but in some circumstances it could mean that a whole year's worth of additional expectations of development and behaviour are being put on your children.

I think it's really dismissive of your child to only think of their age in relation to one of your other children. Like the rest of the family revolves around this one child. I don't imagine they'd look back on that fondly.

Have your children never piped up when you have said their age wrong?
Mine would have corrected me on the spot if I had done this.
Find this very strange to be honest.

Very odd.
I'm weirdly angry about it.
Just feels such a convoluted process when you could just say they're nearly 5. Or 4.
Bizarre.
Any other weird stuff?

I round up but generally from about a month before my DC's birthday...it's my way of getting used to the new, looming age.

I've been saying "DD is 16" for a couple of weeks now but she turns 16 on Monday. You're definitely robbing yours of their age!

Bizarre. They aren’t 5 for several months. I’d only mention nearly 5 once October hit.

Don’t you say on mumsnet something like they’re 4+271, that might suit you both?

I don’t understand your motivation for “rounding up” your children’s ages. It’s not like they’re a couple of days away from their birthday. Strange.

Do you add a year on to your own age when asked?

I think it’s a bit strange as birthdays are a big thing when you’re little.

Eh??? Why would you do that?
Isn’t it confusing for your children? What age do your twins think they are if they hear you lying about it all the time? I don’t understand what the benefit is.
I’m with your DH

Stop blaming your mother and take responsibility for yourself. You can change this very easily if you want to!

They're 4 though....not 5...