To think SIL should care more about her DC achieving their potential?

[LoveaBrew]

I visited my brother and SIL today and their two DC. We'd not seen each other since January, due to lockdown and us living a bit of a drive away.

I'd hoped to get to see them sooner, but somehow this was the earliest they could make time to meet us. I took my 3 DC and they had a lovely time playing in the garden together.

While I was there I noticed that my nephew (3) had made a massive leap during lockdown - he's always been a bit shy, but now he's turned into this confident mature child. His vocabulary and reasoning skills are better than my DS7, who is in the top set in his year, despite the 4 year age gap .
But it was watching my just turned 1 year old niece that left me speechless. It was like watching a 3 year old stuck in a babies body. Without telling too much, she's just learned to ride a balance bike and did a 6 piece Jigsaw with ease...

I asked SIL if they'd done much with the children during lockdown and she said something like too much TV but they tried to go for a walk once a day. I asked again about any homeschooling she'd done and she brushed off the question. I then pointed out how impressive her DC were and she just shrugged...

I have really enjoyed homeschooling during lockdown and promised to send her some of the materials we have used. I've just sent her a few links on WhatsApp and she replied: "that's very kind, honestly we're just happy if everyone is still alive at the end of the day."

I feel a bit upset, surely SIL should do her best to support her kids talents She has quite a senior job so should know how important education is?

AIBU to think she should care more about her DC achieving their potential?

How do you home school a 1 year old?

@LoveaBrew

She just seems to be quite blasé about it all. To me it's so obvious that they are talented that she should be making the most of it

Ignoring the fact you are being ridiculous for a second

Why should she be making the most of it? Why not they? Why does your brother get a free pass from your scorn?

I liked homeschooling too - but 1yr olds and 3yr olds don't go to school! They do the sort of things you describe as already in place....

What homeschooling should she have been doing then?

Babies should be babies. No matter what geniuses they are. They will never be babies again. Pre-schoolers should be preschoolers. Not trying to be at school They'll be at school for long enough.
She's obviously a good and caring mum. Assuming your brother is also a good and caring dad (which you don't mention) dear God let them be babies!! They're thriving in what she's doing. Maybe you should take a leaf and chill out a bit?

Goodness you don’t sound very clued in about children OP. Maybe you should send yours to your SIL to be educated.

I always play it down when people praise my kids for being precocious- it’s embarrassing when they’re more skilled at something than the kids of the person commenting. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It sounds to me like she is making the most of it already.

Wait up, you WANT your SIL to turn into a giant pain in the area helicopter parenting hothouser?
But why?
Those of us with brilliant kids can’t do right from wrong. If we have bright kids we are neglecting them if we aren’t performing ‘schooling’ and if we are performing schooling, we’re crazy hothousing nightmares who are putting pressure on our poor babies and should be letting them play.
Blimey.
I’ve spent twenty years smiling through gritted teeth at people who want to discuss my parenting methods and give me the benefit of their wisdom.
My kids are bright, happy, and healthy.
Now bog off.

OP, I really think you need to read between the lines here and take the hint: they obviously are supporting their kids development but don't want to go into detail about it. They've put off seeing you, and are evasive/non-committal when you ask and then push them on what they've been doing. They were probably dreading the third degree.

The best predictor for educational outcome in children is their mother’s level of education. If she has a good job, she presumably has a good education? You don’t need to hothouse kids, they learn through play at that age. Maybe just concentrate on yourself. (You, not even your kids)

I think they are doing very nicely without your input, OP. Homeschooling links for 1 and 3 year olds, good grief. Just let them be the tiny children that they are.

I asked again about any homeschooling she'd done and she brushed off the question.

Does having a penis affect your brother’s ability to do homeschooling? Why aren’t you asking him why he hasn’t taken on the home schooling. Actually, how about minding your own business and stop trying to make your sil feel like shit?

You sound really over bearing. I would have been furious if one of my SILs had interfered in the way you did.

They are 3 and 1, get a grip.

It's kind of nice they also let their kids be... you know, kids?

I am not sure what you expected them to do. It's lovely you see their growth, and that you are enthusiastic and engaged. But maybe you're trying to push her kids too hard? She has been making the most of her kids, and had plenty of time to do so like all of us :)

Education is important, but living and having fun is also.

Reading through your comment, maybe it was wrong to send them the links. I'm a SAHM and I knew they had a lot on, so I was trying to be helpful

Bloody hell op, they’re just babies! And whatever she’s doing is clearly working if they’re noticeably ahead already. She deserves a pat on the back, not you criticising

I wonder why they've only just managed to see you....

Why the hell would she need homeschooling stuff for a 3 and 1 year old? She already clearly encourages them if they're on balance bikes, doing jigsaws and have an extensive vocabulary. What else should she be doing to 'make the most of them'? Leave her alone you lunatic.

What links did you send?

Honestly, you sound like an absolute nightmare and your SIL did well to stay polite.

1 year and 3 years are still very young. Maybe your SIL just wants them to enjoy being young before going down the academic route. As opposed to pushing them too early and too hard. She must have been doing some stuff with them if they are as good as you say they are. Or maybe she prefers to teach them through interactive play instead of homeschooling lessons. It's not really any of your business anyway.

I agree with others though. Why mention her and not your brother?

Maybe your SIL has this covered. Her kids already seem to be doing well.

DD is 4 and hasn’t done any sit down work in lockdown. We read, go on walks, bake, talk, do puzzles, drawing, play dough.

For most kids that kind of parental attention is enough to get them up to speed.

Hot housing kids at a young age come back to bite you later because you’ve made learning a chore that they tick off rather than something they do because they enjoy it.

She, she she.

These children have a father, your brother. Why not focus your kind attentions on him?

Loool
Is this a joke? You just said the kids are doing exceptionally well and now you’re angry she doesn’t need your WhatsApp link? She’s doing better than you it sounds!!!

Good grief this website never ceases to surprise me 😆

Rereading this, this has really annoyed me for some reason. She’s got a perfect balance of providing them opportunities to learn through play. My ds is 2 and I’ve not even thought to get him a balance bike or proper jigsaws yet. People like you judging parents really p* me off