Should I tell work about childcare situation?

[BippertyBopperty]

My childcare is turning into a nightmare that I don’t know how to solve. Both breakfast and after school club have been cancelled for the new year and on top of that school will be staggering start and finishing times. We moved closer to the in-laws a few months before lockdown (and so they are the only people we know but both are elderly and vulnerable to the virus). I don’t know what to do. I’m working from home at the moment but am expected back in the office from September. Should I tell my boss I’m having trouble fixing this and ask if there is anyway I could work flexibly? Or do I need to just sort this on my own. (But how).

I should also say DH is not in the kind of job where he could WFH or work flexibly at all. So this has to be all on me.

Aw OP I don’t envy you. Surely you won’t be the only person who has this problem. It seems universal right now. I’d raise it ASAP and see what they come back with

Childminder? For before and after school care

You won’t be alone in this & hopefully if you have a decent employer they will understand and adapt - it really won’t be forever. Can you reduce your hours and work pro-rata temporarily?

I’ve called all the childminders (trust me) and none of them have places for September. I could cry. I work in a small office with 10 other people. I’m the only one with small children. So I am going to look super difficult bringing this up. 😭

Can you hire a nanny? A nice teenager to get the kids off to school and meet them in the afternoon? Are you in a location where that could be possible?
I know it costs more but you could see it as a shorter term investment to keep work on track through these difficult times.

If you/dh could do either drop off or pick up, is there a local childminder who could do the other? Or both?

Do you have a year group Facebook or WhatsApp group you could ask either for childcare recommendations or some kind of reciprocal arrangement with another parent?

If there is no school wrap around care, and you have exhausted childminders and other parents then I don't think you have any choice but to talk to work and see what you can arrange with them.

I’d mention it now, but have a serious think about other options (offering to reduce hours, childminder, dropping children at a friends before school etc?). I know how you feel as I have 3 under 7, currently furloughed but expected back in October. Our school is running no breakfast club but I am lucky enough to have my parents close by who have offered to walk the children to school. I will also likely temporarily reduce my hours. I think it would be a good idea to let them know what’s going on and give them enough time to consider your proposed solutions.

Im guessing that breakfast club and afternoon clubs being cancelled will cause issues for lots of other parents too? Is this due to covid 19, is it permanent?
If if is, would you consider changing schools, worst case scenario? Obviously not ideal I know but childcare is a pretty huge issue for working parents.
Could your DH not atleast have one set day off in the week? You said he isn’t in that type of job, but isn’t it an option at all?

I’ve looked into a nanny but honestly it would swallow more than my wages and we can’t afford to take that hit. I think I am going to have to ask to reduce my hours which I am loathe to do. I will appreciate that is also taking a financial hit as well. If I could just be allowed to keep WFH it would be fine. My children are old enough to entertain themselves once home from school but not old enough to be left alone if that makes sense. I don’t think my boss will go for that option though. Get the impression they want everyone back in office pronto.

@Hearwego

Im guessing that breakfast club and afternoon clubs being cancelled will cause issues for lots of other parents too? Is this due to covid 19, is it permanent? If if is, would you consider changing schools, worst case scenario? Obviously not ideal I know but childcare is a pretty huge issue for working parents. Could your DH not atleast have one set day off in the week? You said he isn’t in that type of job, but isn’t it an option at all?

Yes it’s due to covid and bubbles not being allowed to mix. Most schools in the area seem to have had the same info released today. Don’t know if it’s an LA/ countrywide thing (we are in Wales).

Yes, definitely tell them. If you've worked there more than 26 weeks and haven't made a previous flexible working request in the last year, you have the right to make a flexible working request and they can only turn it down if they have a good reason (which they may well have). However, I think most employers understand the difficulties at the moment so if they are a decent employer I would expect them to be able to say yes (even if it was "but only for two months whilst you sort something else out"), given you are currently WFH so sounds like the sort of job that could be done flexibly - if you can afford to I'd ask if you can reduce your hours, but if not then ask if you can do the extra hours from home in the evenings or at weekends. I work in a similar-sized business and we've been very flexible around childcare as we value our employees and want to keep them (and most in turn are flexible back when they can be).

Childminder? For before and after school care**

Trouble is , it’s finding the right person who can do those hours and the money to pay them. Are school clubs are generally cheaper than paying a childminder?..but worth looking into as an option.
The school staggering times is quite unhelpful to parents, although I understand why.

It’s so shit OP. I think many (mostly) women will be in your situation. Ask for flexibility and WFH. It’s worth asking. Maybe a combination of working in the office during school hours and WFH from 3.30?

I think it would depend on your boss and what you do.
I’d be tolerant of my staff for a while and try to give them space to sort something out. I’m lucky we can offer that flexibility, it would be impossible in many jobs.

If you’re near a university, maybe get a student to tide you over or get a mothers help from a newly retired person who wants a few extra pounds to boost their pension. A card in a local shop might find results or a card in the Students Union. Try local church for early retired surrogate grannies.

Is there not a local day nursery provider that offers wrap around care for local primary aged children? There are a few in our local town that do.

Consider your in laws depending on how old and how vulnerable they are. Shielding is stopping from August and unless local spikes, the risks are becoming quite low. They might fit into a package of childcare and make nanny type care on other days affordable.

I think you need to be upfront and explain. Be prepared to clarify exactly why your husband can’t do his share (they’ll ask, which is fair).

Offer what you can for Sep-Dec, hopefully things will improve in January.

This is going to affect a lot of people. It really will become a national issue

My policy is always to include them in the problem whilst explaining the possible solutions that you can see. Then asking them what they think and have you missed anything. That way you are not jamming anyone in a corner but you are sharing things openly and being pro active.

@CherryPavlova

I think it would depend on your boss and what you do. I’d be tolerant of my staff for a while and try to give them space to sort something out. I’m lucky we can offer that flexibility, it would be impossible in many jobs.

If you’re near a university, maybe get a student to tide you over or get a mothers help from a newly retired person who wants a few extra pounds to boost their pension. A card in a local shop might find results or a card in the Students Union. Try local church for early retired surrogate grannies.

Is there not a local day nursery provider that offers wrap around care for local primary aged children? There are a few in our local town that do.

Consider your in laws depending on how old and how vulnerable they are. Shielding is stopping from August and unless local spikes, the risks are becoming quite low. They might fit into a package of childcare and make nanny type care on other days affordable.

It’s not due to PILs vulnerabilities as much as it is there fear. They still won’t meet up with us even in the garden. I can’t really force them to be happy with it, just to solve my childcare trouble.

How would you like an employee to approach you with this? With a list of possible solutions for working? Or with a deadline for getting something else sorted? (Say a month or two) or asking them for their suggestions? My boss is lovely but a big fan of the traditional office 9-5 set up.

@whywhywhy6

Can you hire a nanny? A nice teenager to get the kids off to school and meet them in the afternoon? Are you in a location where that could be possible? I know it costs more but you could see it as a shorter term investment to keep work on track through these difficult times.

You can’t just employ a teenager to be in sole charge of children.

I am getting rather annoyed by how on threads about childcare since the lockdown there are always people suggesting that it’s easy - you just employ a random teenager or student to look after your children.

And finding a nanny to just do before school or after school is actually really hard. And very expensive.

@OhioOhioOhio

My policy is always to include them in the problem whilst explaining the possible solutions that you can see. Then asking them what they think and have you missed anything. That way you are not jamming anyone in a corner but you are sharing things openly and being pro active.

Thanks that seems a good strategy.

I’m also pregnant which they don’t know about yet. I just feel like the worse employee ever right now.

I wouldn't tell your employer, at least nit in the way you seem to be going about it.

The bottom line, from their POV, is that come September, even DC from shielded families can go to school and return to the household where the (by then de-shielded) person lives, even if it is difficult/impossible to keep any form of distance within the household.

As that is household proximity with someone considerable more vulnerable that than the classification for the elderly, there is no way that the situation with the grandparents will be seen as anything other than disinclination, going beyond the official advice.

So raise you request in terms of working flexibly being good in its own right. Can you demonstrate that you have been more productive? Can you show they can have a more Covid safe workplace if fewer staff are in on a regular basis? Can you show how the business is more resilient, in the case of eg local lockdown or Test and Trace required isolation, if they have some staff established as WFM?

Also you could make it a formal flexible working request, of the sort you could have made before Covid, and with considerable stronger evidence that it is positive for the business?

You need to show then whats in it for them, not talk about childcare issues.

And then you will gain the flexibility you want to arrange your wider family's infection control measures as you wish, including going further than the government advice if that is what you think you need

I had a similar problem a while back and now have a solution my boss thought of that was better than what I'd come up with myself. If you don't explain they can't help. You are not opposing 9 to 5. For the time being you simply can't do it.

I don’t mean to throw another spanner in OP but read the school guidance carefully with regard to childminders and other parents collecting and dropping off children. At my DCs’ school it is immediate family only (at least for September) because again childminders and other parents would be mixing bubbles. It’s really shit isn’t it