Should I tell work about childcare situation?

[BippertyBopperty]

My childcare is turning into a nightmare that I don’t know how to solve. Both breakfast and after school club have been cancelled for the new year and on top of that school will be staggering start and finishing times. We moved closer to the in-laws a few months before lockdown (and so they are the only people we know but both are elderly and vulnerable to the virus). I don’t know what to do. I’m working from home at the moment but am expected back in the office from September. Should I tell my boss I’m having trouble fixing this and ask if there is anyway I could work flexibly? Or do I need to just sort this on my own. (But how).

My niece, who had to come home early from uni, looks after 2 children . She was picking them up after school and caring for them in their home until the mum returned.
There will be lots of students out of work.
My niece helped at Brownies etc and was CRB checked.
If you ask around you may find someone similar.

It’s crap at the moment, some employers are great but others are crap. My dh employers are fantastic but Despite being part time my employer expects me to work whatever hours needed (has been over 40) at short notice to cover business needs, I have quit, it just can’t be done with two small children, no parental help as mine are both at high risk so shielding and no after school provision. Luckily we have a good buffer of savings and I have had offers of locum work.

I don't understand the schools that say only family members can collect. Who are they to override parental control in this way? If collections are staggered, and social distancing observed while queing what difference does it make?

It snacks very much of being difficult for the sake of it, but it kneecaps a lot of parents.

Let's not complicate this. You need to continue working from home. You need to do the pick up. You can do the job at home. I reckon what your husband should do is request one day a week from home, and that is the day you go in the office and sort out things physically. Just ask and be straight forward. Explain how limited your options are, write them down and why they are not possible. They can only turn you down.

Apologies for not having read the whole thread.
An au pair is much cheaper than a nanny, her job could essentially be taking to & from school & care until one parent gets home, that gives her all day virtually free to go to language school/other
If she has isolated for 14 days & in your bubble, she should be able to collect from school

Haven’t RTFT but just to say I expect several of my team to come to me with requests like this (and a lot of them will have DPs who can’t or won’t be flexible).

• I’d really want them to float the issue with me/their line manager now rather than waiting til they had it figured out (or not)
• and I’d also like them to talk to me about options rather than assuming a cut to hours is what I prefer. There could be times when what works best for work is a mix of slightly shorter hours + some mornings/evenings wfh + some paid childcare.

@Iverunoutofnames

For a secondary-age child (and older primary), talk to your child's friends' parents. I've always worked from home, and it's never been a problem to have an extra one after school - I often had one of her friends round, and if she had a piano lesson or something then they would happily read or do homework. They're going to be mixing at school, so it's hardly going to increase covid risk.
Occasionally when none of the parents was going to be in after school, we'd arrange for two of them to go back to the same house, as they were happier being home alone with company.

Good luck to all those trying to arrange care, and I hope employers are pragmatic and helpful. Hopefully something will change on the rules about only family collecting, too - after all, if what ends up happening is gran collecting and delivering to the childminder, the risk is increased not decreased!

I would ask around if there are any parents at the school who would be available to help if you paid them child minders fees.

I am sure there are plenty of parents who would possibly do this for some extra money at the moment.

One of my local nurseries did before and after school clubs. Ask around. There are going to be groups that see this gap in the market and try to fill it.

School stipulating immediate family is absolute nonsense. They have no idea who people have been mixing with outside of school, so as possible said- social distancing at pick ups is all that is required.

109 posts and the one from @Bellecurves is really the only one you need to take advice from, OP.

I have a small business with 12 staff most of whom have children (one with 6). We haven’t furloughed anyone as there is a lot of work but we’ve not working effectively from home. The billing in May was 1/3 of Jan, not enough to cover wages, and we have built up a backlog of work. I’m hiring a full time person to help clear this but will push us into a loss this year with the cost of this and the COVID adaptations.
I told all staff in April we are returning to the office in Sept when schools go back and I’ve offered to assist with some of extra childcare costs. As far as I’m concerned we have been very flexible and they need to have sorted it out, I would be really annoyed if one of them put in a flexible working request in August and it would be rejected as no one as been as efficient at home and that won’t change.
It is so frustrating when my staff say partners can’t help. Why is it all on our business? Basically if we aren’t back to where we were efficiency wise preCOVID we will go under and therefore anyone refusing to come back (as appreciate we can’t force staff) who can’t keep up with preCOVID level of work at home will be on a performance review.
I know this is harsh but I need to save the business and 12 jobs and that means we need staff in the office full time and fully focussed on work.

@DancingDog "they need to have it sorted out". You sound like a fab employer! Childcare problems are not always due to costs though are they. There may simply be no available childcare options to cover after school hours. Are you saying that if an employee came to you and asked to do 08:00 to 14:30 in the office and the remaining hours from home because they have no other options for childcare, you would say no? I would be advising your staff to look for a better employer if that is the case.

To people saying to make arrangements with other parents, if someone is using wrap around care this means they
most likely don't get the opportunity to meet other parents. I don't know any school parents (beyond polite small talk) apart from my children's closest couple of friends' parents. And those parents I do know work too.

I don't think an employer of such a small company will be very sympathetic if you just explain the situation without offering any solution and timelines. It would look better if you request continue working from home/flexible until October let's say. You say the childminders are not available in September, but do you know when a childminder will be available? Childcare providers can normally put you in a waiting list. Aupair is cheaper than a nanny, have you tried to find any?
Even if they agree to reduce your hours it would decrease your maternity pay.

All the people saying why can't her DH help too. Is it so hard to imagine a job that is less flexible than an office job?

God, yes. I read threads like this and it's just obvious that people can't comprehend not everyone works in an office! My DH wpuld be supportive of trying to think of solutions to childcare problems but he could not alter his work pattern at all.

And before anyone says, well the women in his job would have to do this, there are no women in his job. 60 men between the shifts but not 1 woman.

Could you suggest a hybrid approach? You work in the office during the day for as many hours that you can around the school day, and then work the additional hours at home in the evening? I work in a similar size company and already did something like this pre-covid. I do have a super flexible boss though.

Apologies if this has already been suggested!

@LolaSmiles

OP has been clear that her DH is going to ask for flexible working, but if his employer refuse, of course it makes sense to protect the higher earner's job, no matter how frustrating that is. It all depends on how good his request is.

He can make one request, so the question is has he made it a damn good request where he's gone through the business reasons on ACAS and outlined how they're not a problem or can be mitigated, or has he just said 'got childcare issues, can I do the school run'. If he does the second then it very much is a case of a man choosing to avoid stepping up.

All these men who apparently couldn't possibly do anything childcare related will have female colleagues. It would be interesting to see how many of their female colleagues absolutely can never do anything to respond to their children.

You're naive if you think it's about how good his request is. I made an excellent request in my old role, as a woman, it would have been beneficial for me and them (I worked in export so being available in the evening and being able to do the school run half the week would have been better for some of my clients in different time zones) and they still said no. Their office was 9-5 no exceptions (unless you were related of course)

Lots of places are like this.

What would DH do if he was a woman? He'd find a way to be flexible.

I'm always amazed how quickly women accept men not even trying to secure flexible working. He could reduce his hours or ask for his shift pattern to be reviewed. Any woman would be expected to do this.

@cooldarkroom Problem with au pairs is that there’s hardly any out there due to a combination of Brexit and Covid. We’re not hiring for September, but friends who are, are really struggling and both of them offer top pocket money, short working hours and own bedroom/bathroom.

He could reduce his hours or ask for his shift pattern to be reviewed. Any woman would be expected to do this

But as a family they'd lose much more money so it makes no sense at all. They'd be putting themselves in a worse scenario because... Feminism. What's the point in that?

Realistically the lower earner takes the hit. In most families that's the woman. If I earned more than dp it would be him making the changes or quitting work.

@BippertyBopperty

I’m also pregnant which they don’t know about yet. I just feel like the worse employee ever right now.

When will you start maternity leave? This will minimise the time that wrap around care is a problem won’t it? Assuming you can do the school run once your new baby is here.

I’d make an arrangement to see your boss, and discuss both issues at once. For the childcare, what the problem is, and what your preferred solution would be (could you maybe finish at 3pm and do a couple of hours work from home in the afternoon /evening, keep your phone on etc)

I know many people in this sort of position right now. If you work is reasonable you might be best to speak to them. You might find your not the only one.

.... posted too soon.

Regarding the pregnancy, as a manager I always appreciate being told sooner rather than later.

Had to have exactly this conversation with my boss this week. Thankfully she was lovely about it but it is going to be a problem for so many people. How understanding is your boss OP?

To those complaining that schools are saying they will let them know definite arrangements later in holidays, this will be because the government will be giving schools more guidance on 11 August. And that seems perfectly reasonable to me to enable them to give guidance appropriate to the situation as it changes over the next few weeks (or possibly to just throw together some random thoughts that don’t rely on the science at all!) So it’s not the schools’ fault if they are not being definitive at the moment. It just doesn’t help parents.