Should I tell work about childcare situation?

[BippertyBopperty]

My childcare is turning into a nightmare that I don’t know how to solve. Both breakfast and after school club have been cancelled for the new year and on top of that school will be staggering start and finishing times. We moved closer to the in-laws a few months before lockdown (and so they are the only people we know but both are elderly and vulnerable to the virus). I don’t know what to do. I’m working from home at the moment but am expected back in the office from September. Should I tell my boss I’m having trouble fixing this and ask if there is anyway I could work flexibly? Or do I need to just sort this on my own. (But how).

I would tell work they may offer some flexibility.

Teenagers don’t have to be 15. You could find Uni students once their timetables are out and mist are being taught online from September so have more availability. There’s bound to be casual youth who haven’t got a gap year to go on etc,

I think childcare is always going to be more of an issue for women. If you decide to have children you are going to need a job that lets you have at least a week or so to actually birth them. So you either need employment that you can take time off from or you’ll need to give up work and find another role afterwards.
Men can take any job regardless, shifts, long hours or working away. By the time babies come along it doesn’t make sense to change.
My friend nannied for two air cabin crew. As you can imagine their schedules were all over the place. Neither needed to compromise as they had the same job but equally either could have given up their job. But there’s no way they could juggle schedules between them.

where I live our local community fb page works wonders, people post for gardeners, full time employees, car mechanics, cleaners, dog walkers....
There will be loads of people who have lost their jobs who would be happy to do some child minding

If no-one else has children they simply do not understand the practicalities

Up to a point they don't need to understand the practicalities - it's a place of work not a creche, and the cold hard reality in the current circumstances is that there'll be enough jobseekers to fill the gaps if some can't make it work

As ever, what's needed is balance. Employers need to make reasonable adjustments - which IME most already are - and employees need to meet them halfway

And while one size will never fit all, it's all true that there needs to be a LOT more stepping-up those male partners who instantly revert to "I can't ..." without any more thought

cooldarkrom Would you genuinely find a stranger on Facebook to look after your children? Can you really not see any potential problems with that?!

Finding random teenagers or retired people to look after children is such an absurd suggestion. Childcare isn't easy and childcare providers have to have training, DBS checks, safeguarding procedures, first aid training. No way would I leave my kids with a random stranger!

You would have time to vet any applicants, like finding a babysitter.
Not just a random teenager, grip it up

cooldarkroom No, it wouldn’t be a random teenager, that’s correct. It would be a random adult.

And what kind of “vetting” could you do?

Remember not to confuse the law on childminders with those on people who come to your house to look after your children which is rightly much more relaxed. We found really good sixth formers for weekend mornings for example by an ad locally with no problem over the years and all kinds of other people - very good people.

Working parents do this week in week out including for school holidays.

xenia Who are you talking to?

My preferred solution would be to work 9:30-2:30 in the office and make up the hours from home
@BippertyBopperty
I would speak to your manager with this proposal. They can see you've been productive for 4 months working from home fulltime, and of course this isn't permanent, just until government advice changes to allow wraparound care. Suggest a trial period of 3 weeks, so that there is an opportunity for you both to talk about how it is going.

You say you're the only mother, but others may need flexibility too. Perhaps someone has severe asthma and doesn't feel safe in the office. Maybe someone uses public transport and would like to change their hours to avoid peak times. A good employer will consider reasonable adjustments especially as they are temporary.

Sorry to try & think outside the box.
Is there a school fb page. there may be other mothers (out of work) who have kids in the school/s who would be happy to walk them to school, keep them afterwards for a small renumeration

OP, what hours do you work? Are you full or part time?

I think as has been suggested upthread, I would ask your boss if you could work in the office for school hours and then at home for the rest of the day.

And I totally agree that schools have got not right to dictate who can and can't collect your child. I would, in no uncertain terms, tell school that I will be the decider in who collects my child, not them.

Finding random teenagers or retired people to look after children is such an absurd suggestion. Childcare isn't easy and childcare providers have to have training, DBS checks, safeguarding procedures, first aid training. No way would I leave my kids with a random stranger!

Lots of us have been that “random” person actually. People bit my hand off to employ me from the age of 17 onwards. It’s also a risk for a teenager working in some unknown families home.
People are allowed to give birth and raise a child without DBS checks, first aid certificates or training. At least getting paid means uou are accountable to someone, unlike the parents.
Lots of young people will have done first aid training at sone point and are very unlikely to have done anything wrong that would turn up on a police file. Rather them than a 30 year old frankly.

There have been a couple of posters on this thread mentioning people having been less productive over the past 4 months wfh...but surely in the context we are talking about here (working parents) that’s mostly because we’ve been homeschooling or at least keeping half an eye on our kids alongside doing our normal work. So a bit unfair to assume this will continue come September when kids are back in school full time. I think people should be given the benefit of the doubt

Glad your OH is going to ask for flexible working again. Lots of things have changed with Covid.

I haven’t read the full thread - sorry! BUT you are not alone

This is a pandemic and the reason why Breakfast abs ASC aren’t running is because of this

Your employer should be I) sympathetic ii) aware of this and if not read government guidance

You should not be penalised for this

The circumstances are outside your control. This is not a choice you are making so I vote with the previous poster who said to explain that due to Covid / pandemic this is situation you are in and you would like to continue working from home until tbe wraparound resumes . It will help with their socially distancing in the office anyway. Don't give up or reduce your hours. It is a unique situation and you shouldn't be penalised

Similar position here, I'm in a job which isn't flexible I have to be in for 8:30 until 3:30/5:30 . Both kids will have different start and finish times (dont know what yet though!) No breakfast club and afterschool club we havent heard back yet..... DH has approached work who are traditional 9-5 employers as hes been working from home but called back in August/September. They have been very understanding and as long as he makes hours up they're happy to be flexible. It's worth asking they may surprise you.

Thanks everyone for your advice on this thread. Just as an update I have managed to arrange WFH at least until Jan 2021. (Haven’t told them about my pregnancy just yet waiting for my scan). But I’m happy with that. Wouldn’t have been able to arrange it without all your help!

Look for a local childminder before they are all fully booked.
You can't rely on elderly people, it's not fair on them or the kids.
Then, if you can't find a childminder speak to your boss, I can't see that it makes any difference office or home as long as productivity doesn't decline and you don't have kids in the background, which you won't have if they are at school.

Fantastic news OP!

My dd is an adult now but I can still remember that sick, pit of the stomach feeling whenever childcare fell through for whatever reason.

Hopefully you can relax now and start enjoying your pregnancy.

Brilliant! Well done OP.

That's great news OP. Well done!

Great update.