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Original poster

Do you love your children more than your husband/partner?

491 replies

sage46 · 17/07/2020 20:00

I remember a conversation I had with my mother when I was about 12 or 13 and asking her whether she loved me and my sister more than she loved our Dad. I also remember being shocked when she said that she loved us very much but that she loved our Dad more. I find myself (more than 40 years later) thinking about this and am interested in other women's feelings on this. For myself I think losing my husband would feel like losing a limb , but losing my Ds would be like losing my heart.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 17/07/2020 20:03

I think you've summed up my feelings - my life would go on without DH. It wouldn't go on if something happened to DS.

SidesteppinTheRona · 17/07/2020 20:03

I’m not sure it’s a case of more or less; rather, it’s a different sort of love and so quite difficult to compare.

FoldenHoard · 17/07/2020 20:03

I love my children more than my partner.

formerbabe · 17/07/2020 20:04

Definitely my dc

thatselementary · 17/07/2020 20:04

My children, hands down and I love my DH very much. Couldn't love anyone more than my children, I can't fathom people loving their spouses more than their DC 😱

HeadSpin5 · 17/07/2020 20:04

Yes I do.

Firenight · 17/07/2020 20:04

My kids more than anything

belfastmillie · 17/07/2020 20:05

Yes love my children more, no comparison. He would say the same.

Tanfastic · 17/07/2020 20:05

I love my child more. I could carry on if anything happened to dh but I'd feel like my life has ended if anything happened to ds.

Pacif1cDogwood · 17/07/2020 20:05

Most definitely DSs.

Even more so since STBXH turned out to be a skilled liar and serial adulterer...

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 17/07/2020 20:05

I have a different love for my children as I do my dh. I wouldn't say one is greater than the other.

The children are a result of our love for one another, and the relationship is ours, the children are along for the ride.

At the moment they are under 3, and have more needs than him so they are a bigger priority, but as they grow and gain more independence, that will shift again. They won't need us forever, but we'll (plan anyway) be a team forever.

PinkiOcelot · 17/07/2020 20:06

I love my dds more than DH. They are my life I could cope without DH. Actually I did when we split for 6 months 9 years ago. I couldn’t cope without my dds in my life.

Tanfastic · 17/07/2020 20:06

My mum always said equally but a different kind of love.

The4ks · 17/07/2020 20:07

I can't imagine any comparison. Sure I love my partner, but the thought of losing my kids is utterly unbearable

shinyredbus · 17/07/2020 20:07

Yes.

CherryPavlova · 17/07/2020 20:07

Same but different. I also think it changes as the children grow into adulthood. They are dependent up until then so love is confused with a need to protect.
Now I love them all dearly but I’m with my husband day to day, we plan our lives together, we’ll face old age together and that companionship becomes more important again.

JizzPigeon22 · 17/07/2020 20:08

I lost my husband last year and while I feel completely broken and unable to recover, I’m still here. If something happened to my kids I’d kill my self. I am bi polar though, so that’s just kind of my default go to.

Scarydinosaurs · 17/07/2020 20:08

My children- no doubt.

pointythings · 17/07/2020 20:08

I don't think you can compare the two kinds of love. Love for a child is unconditional, love for a partner really isn't. It's almost impossible to stop loving your child no matter what they do - I attend a group for relatives of addicts and quite a few of the members have children who are addicted to various things. The love is one of the most painful things for these parents. And yes, I totally understand why it would be impossible to stop loving your child.

On the other hand I go because my late husband was an alcoholic and in a sense I have it easier because at least I stopped loving him quite some time before he died. The sadness is just less intense. A partner can destroy the love you have for them. I don't think a child can.

LockdownLump · 17/07/2020 20:08

My DD is more important to me than DH and I'm 100% sure, he feels exactly the same.

OverTheRainbow88 · 17/07/2020 20:08

Without a doubt... although my OH actually behaved better during lockdown

mynameiscalypso · 17/07/2020 20:09

I always thought it would be equal but different until I had a child. I've actually been surprised by the fact that it's not for me; there is no competition at all. I love my DH but it's nothing in comparison to the love I have for DS.

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 17/07/2020 20:10

Kids. 100%

MadeForThis · 17/07/2020 20:10

It's a different type of love. Love for my dcs is unconditional. Love for my DH isn't.

Romantic love doesn't always last forever.

AbsolutWitch · 17/07/2020 20:10

I can't imagine loving anyone more, or anyone being more important to me than my DC.