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Original poster

Do you love your children more than your husband/partner?

491 replies

sage46 · 17/07/2020 20:00

I remember a conversation I had with my mother when I was about 12 or 13 and asking her whether she loved me and my sister more than she loved our Dad. I also remember being shocked when she said that she loved us very much but that she loved our Dad more. I find myself (more than 40 years later) thinking about this and am interested in other women's feelings on this. For myself I think losing my husband would feel like losing a limb , but losing my Ds would be like losing my heart.

OP posts:
SisterAgatha · 17/07/2020 20:23

Kids hands down. DH said how much he loved me the other day and I was his no 1 girl etc, well after the kids. And of course I don’t care. I’m glad. I want a DH who will love our children more than anyone else, and he was a DW who will love our children more than anyone else.

Also agree it’s generational. My grandmother frequently chose her second husband over her children and grandchildren. My maternal grandparents loved us more than anything and that’s who we remember most.

bloodywhitecat · 17/07/2020 20:23

Different but equal, especially now the children are adults themselves.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/07/2020 20:23

We’ve never had the conversation but I would seriously hope that DH loves our DDs more unconditionally than me too.

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 17/07/2020 20:24

Definitely my children. I'd take a bullet for my children. My husband is on his last chance at our marriage. I'd pick myself up and deal with it if we finished. If anything happened to my children, my life wouldn't be worth living.

acocadochocolate · 17/07/2020 20:25

Definitely my DC.

Hardbackwriter · 17/07/2020 20:25

@MereDintofPandiculation

I wonder if it changes as you get older? All these people saying they could live without DH but not without DC? My DC are in their 30s and have left home, my DH is still with me after nearly 40 years. Losing him would have far more impact on my life.
My uncle died a few years before both my grandparents did - they died quite close together but my grandfather died first. My grandmother was devastated when my grandfather died - they had been married for 60 years, very happily - but it wasn't like when they lost my uncle, I was there when she was told and I'll never forget that. I think she expected to lose her husband - many of her friends had been widowed for years and had built very happy lives for themselves - but you never expect to see your child buried before you.
honeylulu · 17/07/2020 20:25

I prefer my husband's company as my children can be quite annoying.

But in a life or death situation I would shove him under a bus if it meant I could save them.

Xmasbaby11 · 17/07/2020 20:26

I love my dc more. As others have said it's a different type of love, but it is stronger. I put them before my dh.

LemonPeonies · 17/07/2020 20:27

Surely it's normal to love your DC more? Or at least put them above anyone. I can't stand women who put men first (think baby P etc) but that's a whole other can of worms...

Dreamtopia · 17/07/2020 20:28

My child 100%. As pp said, if I split with DP or he died I would recover but never if something happened to dd.

bornninthe80s · 17/07/2020 20:28

Without a doubt my daughter. She is my world. Hopefully DH feels the same!

Very interesting thread.

comeasyouare91 · 17/07/2020 20:29

I love my children more than anyone

oopsiedaisy2 · 17/07/2020 20:29

Yep! No question. It's a totally different love though

Pebblexox · 17/07/2020 20:29

I wouldn't say I love one more than the other. However I love them very differently.
My love for my dd is unconditional. However I do believe a love for a spouse is conditional based on circumstances.

buzz91 · 17/07/2020 20:29

Before my dc I would have been unable to say who I loved most in the world - I love my Dh, but I also love my parents, Dn’s and Nan, I love all of them in different ways none necessarily more just different. Then my dc came along and I love them more than anyone else

octobersky19 · 17/07/2020 20:29

I love my child more than my partner. My child is everything, I love my DH but I'd expect him to love our child more than me

YouCanBeMyWingWomanAnyday · 17/07/2020 20:30

My love for my child is unconditional, my love for my DP has conditions eg treating me well etc

Sandytoes86 · 17/07/2020 20:30

My mum always said my dad came first . But then I went to boarding school ......
I love my children more than my dh, hands down , they would always come first and my dh knows and understands this

cookiemon666 · 17/07/2020 20:30

I chose my oldest daughter over my ex husband. My love for my kids is so much stronger than it ever was for my ex

coffeeandpyjamas · 17/07/2020 20:31

100% love my son more than I love my husband. No question.

Serin · 17/07/2020 20:31

I adore my DC but I dont want to spend the rest of my life living with them.Wink
I want to spend the rest of my life with the man I married.
If we have done our job correctly the DC will still be a huge part of our lives but will have their own independence.

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 17/07/2020 20:31

Undoubtedly my love for my children is deeper and stronger. I'd die for them and no one else

Tunnocks34 · 17/07/2020 20:32

I absolutely love me children more and I feel no shame in saying it.

I adore my husband, and I’d be lost, devastated if I were to lose him, but if I were to lose a child I would be broken forever.

Mumoflittles · 17/07/2020 20:33

My kids are my life. I 100% love them more than their dad, my partner.

Tunnocks34 · 17/07/2020 20:33

My husband also loves our children more than me.

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