Do you love your children more than your husband/partner?

[sage46]

I remember a conversation I had with my mother when I was about 12 or 13 and asking her whether she loved me and my sister more than she loved our Dad. I also remember being shocked when she said that she loved us very much but that she loved our Dad more. I find myself (more than 40 years later) thinking about this and am interested in other women's feelings on this. For myself I think losing my husband would feel like losing a limb , but losing my Ds would be like losing my heart.

Op you mam could have worded that better xx

My friend says her dh because without her dh, there would be no dc.

I say my dc. I could pull myself together if anything happened to dh. It also pains me to think of the effect on my dc if anything happened to me. Dh would be able to carry on but my dc would be affected for the rest of their lives.

My kids hands down actually lost my ex due to the fact that he didn't like that my kids came first

Yes.

I love, respect and admire my DH very much, he's a fantastic person.

But the love I feel for my children is on a completely different level.

I love DD unconditionally.

I love DH conditionally.

I’m sure ‘equally but a different kind of love’ is the correct answer...but obviously kids & I honestly find it weird/sad when it’s not the case. The difference is that I love my children unconditionally and DH conditionally - there is nothing that could or would ever stop me loving my children, but if DH cheated for example you wouldn’t see me for dust!

if it came down to a crunch though I’d save my children over my husband hands down.

YY and also, my DH would hate me to pick him over the dcs in that scenario.

I could pull myself together if anything happened to dh. It also pains me to think of the effect on my dc if anything happened to me. Dh would be able to carry on but my dc would be affected for the rest of their lives.

YY, one of the things I appreciate most about DH is that he would be able to cope if I died.

'I used to say to [Blake], "I would take a bullet for you. I could never love anything as much as I love you." I would say that to my wife. And the second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby.'

• Ryan Reynolds

I love my children more than anyone else

My DS, hands down.

I definitely love my dd more than my dh. My husband feels the same.

Of course I love them more.

My love for DH is conditional and there are certain behaviours which mean our relationship would end. There are no conditions on my love for my DC and no circumstances where I would voluntarily end my relationship with them.

Children more. Always.

DH says he loves me more. We had this conversation once and I said I would always expect his priority to be the children rather than me.

Yes.

Thanks for reading my post and for all of your interesting and thought provoking answers. It did shake me when my Mother said that she loved our Dad more than us, that's why I was so curious to know whether it was unusual. I agree that it may be a generational thing, men being put first and children not being so much at the centre of families as they are now.

Definitely DS. If DH died, my life would go on. I'd spend some of the insurance money on a trip to the Caribbean so we could grieve in style. Somewhere 5*. With a kids' club...

On that note, anyone handy with a shovel?

I love my son more than anyone in the world!

BUT... I would not expect my children to love ME more than anyone else. :)

@LocalHobo you were much more eloquent than I managed to be.

@Delphinium20

In different ways, I love my husband, my parents, my sisters, my nephews and nieces, but oh my god, that all pales in how much I love my children. Loving your children is unconditional and deeply primal. A spouse is conditional. I guess I could easily die for any of them, depending on the circumstances. I think this is why heart transplants are anonymous. If they weren't, parents of sick children would kill themselves to give their organs to their offspring.

What do you mean? When a child is sick and in need of an organ, surely his parents know about it. Why would a parent kill herself and donate her heart to her child? Then that child would grow up without that parent. What are you even talking about?

My DC always came before my ex. But then, he was an abusive arsehole, so it was a no brainer.

I love them in completely different ways although ultimately I would always choose and prioritise my children over anyone.

Having experienced one of my children dying, I don’t think I could have coped with it if my DH hadn’t been by my side.

I don’t think my mum loved our dad more than us but she always put him first . And I remember her clearly saying ,

When you have grown up and left home I will be with your dad for the rest of my life so I keep that always in my mind.

They have been married for 64 years with hardly a cross word .

Always my children first before DH.

Nope. DH all the way! The teens are psychopaths.