Do you ever think it is acceptable to smack a child?

[planetfedup]

Only asking (and no this isn't a thread about a thread, just a general observation) but there is another thread here and a woman hit her dog and is being berated on here. However, in the past I have seen people admitting to hitting their kids without half as much vitriol being spewed out. By the way, I don't believe in smacking in any way.

I’ve never hit my kids, I think it’s a lack of control from the parent

NO

Never, there is no excuse.

Total power imbalance, and utterly abusive to do so.

Controversial but I believe in smacking in certain circumstances. If you pick your moment correctly you should only have to do it once or twice.

No it's never acceptable.

No. Its not socially acceptable any more.

NEVER. It’s absolutely unacceptable.

One word - NO!

We've had a lot of smacking threads lately. No, it's not ok to hit your children, even if you tell yourself you're hitting them in the right way. If they're old enough to be reasoned with, reason with them. If they're not, then you won't be able to explain why you're hitting them, so what's the point?

Almost all parents who smack do it out of frustration and anger at least some of the time. I hear a lot of "I just snapped." Would they "just snap" if the kid was 25 years old, 6'2" and a black belt in judo?

Unacceptable.

Also illegal in Scotland and Wales.

No, I am ashamed to say I once smacked my daughter when she was little. Only the once, I was mortified and apologised many times. This was years ago, my son (9yo) started talking about it the other day - he clearly remembers it. I was just as ashamed as when I did it

There are so many other and better ways of disciplining children (and dogs).

No

Yes, there is 4 year old on our road, she puts herself in quite serious danger sometimes, she just screams and runs when her mother remonstrates with her. I would tap her backside if she was mine!

No chance, have DD 12 and DS 8, never even come close to it. It's illegal to assault an adult so why is it OK to assault a child? Although I know laws have changed but still.

No. Never. Never.

I was talki g about this the other day actually to DH. I really dislike one of the school mums. She is one of those people who manages to skillfully get others to do things for her. But actually, some years ago I saw her smack her child acorss the back of the legs really really hard. It made me feel shaky and physically ill and I said to DH that nowadays I would be making a call to social services.

I now work in the child protection field and I think that people who are willing to do this in public are doing that and worse behind closed doors.

No.

@BillywilliamV

Yes, there is 4 year old on our road, she puts herself in quite serious danger sometimes, she just screams and runs when her mother remonstrates with her. I would tap her backside if she was mine!

And being hit would make her stop screaming and stand still?

I don’t think it’s ideal and would strongly discourage it but I also understand some parents chose to smack and that it can be a short, swift response to unacceptable behaviours in children too young to reason fully. Sometimes it’s more effective than long dragged out negotiation overload and guilt tripping.

Sometimes it’s done as a reflex to a child running into a road or similar and whilst not good, is understandable. I think demonising all smacking means it’s driven behind closed doors and can escalate before help with parenting is sought.

No one in this house is allowed to use their body to hurt anyone. That applies to a two year old pulling hair or a 40 year old smacking a bottom.

@CherryPavlova

I don’t think it’s ideal and would strongly discourage it but I also understand some parents chose to smack and that it can be a short, swift response to unacceptable behaviours in children too young to reason fully. Sometimes it’s more effective than long dragged out negotiation overload and guilt tripping.

Sometimes it’s done as a reflex to a child running into a road or similar and whilst not good, is understandable. I think demonising all smacking means it’s driven behind closed doors and can escalate before help with parenting is sought.

This ☝️

As a general principle, no.
I have done it once, and only, when my DD was four and she literally ran in front of an oncoming car and very narrowly avoided being hit. I did it partly as a reaction to my own fear and also to shock her into realising how bad it was. I'm not proud of it and I wish I hadn't but in the circumstances I am not going to feel overly guilty about it.

No. There is never an excuse to smack a child

No, smacking is not ideal parenting and does speak of a lack of control. However I wouldn't put a parent who regularly hits their child in the same category as a parent who does it once, immediately regrets it, and addresses the factors/behaviours that caused it so it never happens again. One is repeatedly abusive, the other has made a one off mistake.

there is 4 year old on our road, she puts herself in quite serious danger sometimes, she just screams and runs when her mother remonstrates with her. I would tap her backside if she was mine!

Would the tap on the backside make up for inadequate supervision? A four year old getting into danger needs to be watched more closely, children will always have occasional accidents but supervision helps reduce how many and very often the severity.

Nope

Only if they had a horrible spider on them and it was the only way to keep us both safe from the arachnid of doom