Do you ever think it is acceptable to smack a child?

[planetfedup]

Only asking (and no this isn't a thread about a thread, just a general observation) but there is another thread here and a woman hit her dog and is being berated on here. However, in the past I have seen people admitting to hitting their kids without half as much vitriol being spewed out. By the way, I don't believe in smacking in any way.

But as a parent I judge a slap on the hand far less deleterious to my child's health and wellbeing than being hit by a lorry.

And those were the only two options? Do you smack adults too? Or just small children?

I don't think it's necessary to discipline kids, but I'm not convinced it matters a lot in terms of child development etc. While there is a line that if crossed is always clearly abusive, the research I've seen around it suggests that any bad effects for smacking apart from that have to do with whether it is socially acceptable. So where it is seen as bad, kids who are smacked suffer bad effects. Where it is a normal part of parenting, kids treated the same way have no ill effects. It's just seen as a normal punishment like losing a privilege or a time out and they move on when its done and doesn't challenge their parents love and affection. Where it's hidden, it's a different story.

I think the biggest downside of it is that it can potentially mask situations that are abusive. Though maybe those would happen anyway, IDK.

I do however find worrying the trend that other types of punishments, like a time out or whatever, are as bad and as psychologically damaging, just like smacking. I've not heard so much about it recently but it was popular a few years ago.

No I don’t.

But I also understand how parents can lose it and hit a child. My god I have come close with my eldest son a few times and it’s taken incredible restraint for me to manage my anger.

No.

No. Never an excuse for it

@speakout name 3. She strapped him in, he laughed and unbuckled himself. Rinse and repeat I would presume she tried all sorts of things, including getting cross. Personally, my time frame for sorting something like that out would have been a pretty short one.

Never

Porcupineinwaiting so unimaginative parents are forgiven for assaulting minors?

No. Never ever an excuse.

This subject has been chewed to the bone and done to death. There is a smacking post every single week. Zzzzzzz..
And it always goes the same way. 95% say no never, and the rest get crucified for saying yes and are labelled horrible vile child abusers.

@speakout with an adult it would presumably be a conscious choice so I could have left them on the hard shoulder if they suddenly decided not to wear a seat belt (I wouldn't travel alone in a car with an adult who couldn't be trusted to keep their seatbelt on so that's a bit of a moot point).

Anyway, I dont need you to agree with me I'm just saying that's what I would have done.

My son's behaviour was a nightmare when he was 3. No amount of reward charts or positive reinforcement or reasoning or scolding or removal of privileges worked. I remember a five minute drive taking an hour one day because he kept unbuckling his car seat and opening the door. As soon as I strapped him in, and got round to the drivers seat, he had unbuckled it again. I didn't smack him, but honestly when all other options had failed, I really did wonder if it would work. I just cried instead.

Still waiting for you to tell me your imaginative solutions @speakout.

Porcupineinwaiting Don't holiday in Wales or Scotland- you could face criminal charges.

No but I can see the temptation

Still waiting for you to tell me your imaginative solutions @speakout.

Finding your own may be a more worthwhile exercise.

Still waiting...

Teachers manage to control 25 young children without abuse or violence. Most parents only have one or two young ones.

It's not rocket science to guide little ones without assaulting them.

No, lazy and bad parenting.

Teachers manage to control 25 young children without abuse or violence. Most parents only have one or two young ones.

In fairness though, that's a fairly recent thing. The threat of being hit by the teacher was an absolute constant of my primary school experience. It blows my mind to think that teachers were allowed to do that, even though I witnessed it myself (and was occasionally subjected to it myself).

No. I worked in childcare before I became a parent.
I dont think smacking is helpful or necessary. I think it is harmful and should not be legal in England.
I dont see why some people think that children are the one type of people it's okay to physically hurt.

Never.

I think there are two different things that people try and conflate in this argument. There are parents who are aggressive who are often also aggressive to their kids and have aggressive attitudes and they will have kids who grow up aggressive.
There are parents who use a quick snack when a child has been particularly naughty or done something dangerous so that they will not repeat the behaviour. My parents smacked us occasionally and I cannot specifically recall any one occasion so was obviously not at all traumatised. I have 3 brothers and none grew up thinking aggression was okay. I have 3 teenagers. The oldest was smacked a couple of times but I quickly realised how ineffective it was for her. My second it was effective for but only did it once as after that, just a look would bring him back on line of being naughty. My third has not been smacked. I would not judge anyone who used smacking for extreme situations but I would judge anyone who beats their kids. I also agree that people are not brave enough to post about this as they get verbally abused for their opinions.

I have never smacked my DC but I did not make a conscious decision to never smack.
At the risk of sounding 115, I got the odd smack and it did no immediate or lasting damage.

Mn prefer dogs to children, OP. And why you’d smack your child when she’s run into the road is beyond me.