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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Putting clothes on for guests

194 replies

Deadringer · 17/07/2020 17:32

Just curious what is the norm in other families. My sister had an accident which means she is housebound for the moment. She lives with her dh and adult son. Two of my other sisters visited her recently (seperately) and said the son was present the entire time they were there, wearing just boxer shorts. He also answered the door in his boxers. For reference, the weather has not been good here and not particularly warm. Both said they felt very uncomfortable sitting with him and left after a short time. They are both in their 60s, if it makes any difference. I visited yesterday and he was in his shorts again. I made a joke of it and suggested he put some clothes on. I think he was offended. My sister (his mother) said that all of her sons always wandered around in boxers, and it wouldn't occurr to them to put on a t shirt for visitors. Aibu to think that even if he is in his own home, if someone calls in you put something on? Genuinely interested in opinions.

OP posts:
Tinyhumansurvivalist · 17/07/2020 17:34

Its not like he was strutting round naked. Assuming nothing was on display he's in his own home.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 17/07/2020 17:35

His butt. His business.

HappyHammy · 17/07/2020 17:39

Its his house. You are the ones feeling uncomfortable not him although he might now
..how old is he.

vodkaredbullgirl · 17/07/2020 17:39

His house, he can wear what he wants.

Tooshytoshine · 17/07/2020 17:39

He should obviously wear more than his underwear! Unless he is a five year old child?!! I am interpreting him as older than this though?

I wouldn't sit in my bra and knickers and say it's fine as it's my house and you can't see anything.

Trika · 17/07/2020 17:41

Did he know they were coming around?

GreenTulips · 17/07/2020 17:42

My teens put clothes in for visitors.

I wouldn’t let them come down otherwise

They are old enough to know this, I think it’s rude.

Imbloodyannoyed · 17/07/2020 17:42

Honestly I would tell them to put some proper shorts on. No top - it’s their own home so fine - but boxers nah

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 17/07/2020 17:42

Do you mean an adult man in just his underpants?

If that is what you mean, then no - you are not unreasonable. It is inappropriate and very odd indeed.

saltycat · 17/07/2020 17:46

A tee shirt is easy to throw on. It's a bit impolite when guests are around to strut around in your underwear, ok within your own family, but some people get very uncomfortable with this kind of thing unless it's on the beach or at the pool.

I vote with putting on a tee shirt and shorts myself.

I'm probably biased though as we went to see my friend before lockdown and her husband was just in his boxers, and when he sat down something important strayed out of the boxers. LOL.

katy1213 · 17/07/2020 17:47

Very disrespectful; I'd have said something at the time.

theendoftheworldasweknowit · 17/07/2020 17:48

I think they should put clothes on for visitors.

However, it doesn't sound like they had visitors round on this occasion - they had family round?

Sexnotgender · 17/07/2020 17:51

Of course they should put on clothes. Absolutely rude not to.

Sceptre86 · 17/07/2020 17:52

I wouldn't walk around in my bra and undies if my uncle came to my house, I would wear clothes. He could have put some actual shorts on. Yanbu, he is a grown adult so should know better.

ProseccoBubbleFantasies · 17/07/2020 17:53

Their house, their rulz

Sexnotgender · 17/07/2020 17:55

@ProseccoBubbleFantasies

Their house, their rulz
Absolutely. And I’m sure they’ll understand if people don’t visit because their behaviour makes people uncomfortable.
Deadringer · 17/07/2020 17:56

He is 24. Great big strapping fellow, very hairy, though i know that doesn't make any difference.

OP posts:
Neolara · 17/07/2020 17:56

Yes, it's weird to hang out in only your undies when you've got guests.

managedmis · 17/07/2020 17:57

Sounds fabulous

They complained?!

Jaxhog · 17/07/2020 17:58

It's pretty rude and disrespectful. Sounds gross tbh.

MulticolourMophead · 17/07/2020 18:01

My 16 year old son wanders aqround the house in his underwear while it's just me, DD and him. If we have any visitors, inlcuding my dad or DB, he'll simply put a pair of shorts on over the top.

Yes, this is his home. But he won't make visitors feel uncomfortable, when a simple pair of shorts over his underwear will do.

cariadlet · 17/07/2020 18:01

It wouldn't matter if a toddler was there in their underpants but this is a grown man. If he wants to sit around like that when it's just the family in the household and nobody minds then that's up to him.

But of course an adult should go and put clothes on when a visitor comes round; whether or not they're relatives is irrelevant. No wonder your poor sisters felt uncomfortable.

I can't believe that some posters have thought this was ok. It shows a total lack of consideration for other people's feelings.

SquirrelFan · 17/07/2020 18:01

Tacky as heck. Was he doing it on purpose to make them feel uncomfortable? Maybe he didn't want them around.

Of course, I'm from the old-fashioned turn off the telly, offer a cup of tea school of hospitality, so...

TheCanyon · 17/07/2020 18:01

I thought this was going to be about jammies. Wandering about in just underwear when you have guests is ridiculous.

PerditaProvokesEnmity · 17/07/2020 18:01

They are both in their 60s, if it makes any difference.

Poor decrepit things - after a lifetime of never having glimpsed a man wearing less than a three piece suit.

Hmm