Putting clothes on for guests

[Deadringer]

Just curious what is the norm in other families. My sister had an accident which means she is housebound for the moment. She lives with her dh and adult son. Two of my other sisters visited her recently (seperately) and said the son was present the entire time they were there, wearing just boxer shorts. He also answered the door in his boxers. For reference, the weather has not been good here and not particularly warm. Both said they felt very uncomfortable sitting with him and left after a short time. They are both in their 60s, if it makes any difference. I visited yesterday and he was in his shorts again. I made a joke of it and suggested he put some clothes on. I think he was offended. My sister (his mother) said that all of her sons always wandered around in boxers, and it wouldn't occurr to them to put on a t shirt for visitors. Aibu to think that even if he is in his own home, if someone calls in you put something on? Genuinely interested in opinions.

That is very disrespectful. But if his parents didn't feel awkward about it, then that's how he was raised, so I guess you can't do anything about it, really.

That's the absolute height of rudeness and bad manners.

He's a lazy inconsiderate knuckle-dragging slob.

this is odd

Where do they live? I’d like to check on her too.

But in a serious note.....it’s not okay. For a male or female to hang around visitors in underwear

It's a bit slovenly and I would tell my son to put on a t shirt and shorts.

If I went to a house and a dude was there in just boxers I would think he was exhibiting highly entitled male inconsideration for others and I would not like him very much because it shows he is either entitled or ignorant and both are shitty

^ This, completely. Also, I've seen enough crusty, skiddy boxer shorts in my life to not want them directly in contact with any surface I might someday sit on. Disgusting.

Yeah and I’d have said on the spot - put a t-shirt on! I’m a visitor! And made a joke out of it.

Best to just deal with things as they happen.

YANBU, why couldn’t he just pull a t shirt and some trackies on, who sits round in their skanky pants. Grim.

I’m very much a pants only person at home, but if it was visitors (and not friends who are also pants only people) I’d just stick a pair of shorts on.

@Rosebel

I assume those who are offended by this don't go swimming or to the beach. It's no different to that. Don't like it don't go round there.

Boxers are different from swimwear - swimwear isn't designed so your cock can fall out at any moment.

More to the point, they were visiting a sick relative out of kindness. Why the fuck should two women be made uncomfortable because a man can't be arsed to put some shorts on, whether he was a relative or not?

Of course he should put some shorts on! Neither of my adult sons would ever dream of walking around in just their briefs if there were people present. It's just polite, isn't it?

I think he should have put some clothes on. I don’t think walking around in just undies with visitors is on.

@Lilymossflower

What would people's answers be if it was a daughter with two older male uncle's swanning around in just knickers and bra ? Genuinely curious

Not the same thing - men slob about in boxers because it's comfy, not because it's underwear. The girl equivalent would be a PJ set made up of a cami top and short shorts. (So, soft material, not a lot of material and no bra.)

My answer would be the same - you don't have to dress up for close family. But you do have to put clothes on for visitors who you aren't related to.

Why are people saying the boxers are skanky, crusty with skid marks?

Maybe he'd just slipped into a fresh pair after showering.

@Burner1310

I’ve been to my DBs house and his DS (my DN20) has been in his boxers, it really doesn’t bother me. He must feel comfortable enough around me, it’s just like wearing a pair of shorts really. He’s really laid back and normally wanders back to his pit bedroom. It depends how close you are to him “, I’ve always been close to my DN so I don’t bat an eyelid.

It’s really not just like wearing a pair of shorts, for starters shorts aren’t usually skin tights with a knob flap.

Tnh I don't get why they felt uncomfortable seeing their nephews chest and legs. They've probably wiped poo from his bum and seen turnaround in just a nappy. I assume at 24 he wasnt perched on their knee and im guessing he wasn't aroused. Anyway I'd have said put clothes on but more. Manners than because his aunt shouldn't have to glimpse his naked wrists

I think it’s rude. My BIL spends his life in his pants when he’s at home with my DSis and the kids but he’d definitely get dressed for his elders, because he’s considerate. I’ve known him forever and even I get treated to a T-shirt with his pants. I always thought it was an Italian thing but maybe not! Glad DP doesn’t do it.

My 18yr old lives in his boxers in the summer months-it doesn't bother me because I wander around in my undies too- but he would automatically get dressed without being asked if we had a visitor. I'm surprised a 24yr old wouldn't be a wee bit more respectful to be honest.

I totally agree OP. It's the height of bad manners to slob about in underwear when people come to visit.
My 15 yr old DS would even change his mega scruffy joggers for clean ones if his beloved aunty was coming over.
He doesn't ever feel the need to walk around in his boxers during the day, he has shorts for that kind of skinning out. I can't understand people like that.

@saltycat your post is the only thing to crack my miserable face all day! #leicesterlockdown. Thank you.
OP of course he should put shorts on and unless he is the body beautiful a tee shirt too.
I’d be horrified if my DH or DS wore only boxers when we had visitors (those were the days). Although they absolutely would not wear only their UNDERWEAR.

Ew.
I would think it rude.

I think it's fine to be in just shorts. Boxer shorts though, no. They are thin and flappy (and trunks are thin and huggy). It's the same as if a woman is wearing a bra-style fitness top Vs a bra.

I can't help imagine your dsis is called Daisy, is her son called Onslow by by chance .

Each to their own, next visit let your boobs be free-range over the dinner table .