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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Putting clothes on for guests

194 replies

Deadringer · 17/07/2020 17:32

Just curious what is the norm in other families. My sister had an accident which means she is housebound for the moment. She lives with her dh and adult son. Two of my other sisters visited her recently (seperately) and said the son was present the entire time they were there, wearing just boxer shorts. He also answered the door in his boxers. For reference, the weather has not been good here and not particularly warm. Both said they felt very uncomfortable sitting with him and left after a short time. They are both in their 60s, if it makes any difference. I visited yesterday and he was in his shorts again. I made a joke of it and suggested he put some clothes on. I think he was offended. My sister (his mother) said that all of her sons always wandered around in boxers, and it wouldn't occurr to them to put on a t shirt for visitors. Aibu to think that even if he is in his own home, if someone calls in you put something on? Genuinely interested in opinions.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 18/07/2020 15:11

I think it’s odd, I’d certainly ask anyone in my household to put on some clothes. I’d only ever answer the door in my dressing gown if the postman came super early.

Burner1310 · 18/07/2020 16:39

It really does depend how close you are, if I was visiting my DB I wouldn’t feel like a “visitor” as we are close. I’d call in and if Dnephew20 happens to be in his pants/boxers then so be it. He’s like a second son though, I still see him as a scrappy little 8yo!
It’s not about asserting his “man rights” over anyone. I’m sure if proper (non family) visitors go round he’d put clothes on.

MrsNotNice · 18/07/2020 16:52

Toilenstripes

I don’t understand this pointing the finger at his parents who brought him up. Absolutely unnecessary.

bridgetreilly · 18/07/2020 16:55

I think it's very weird for people to wander round all day in nothing but their underwear whether or not they have visitors. And yes, when there are visitors, I would definitely expect clothes to be put on. It's not 'his home, his rules', it's about making your guests feel welcome and comfortable by being thoughtful.

MrsNotNice · 18/07/2020 16:57

It's not 'his home, his rules', it's about making your guests feel welcome and comfortable by being thoughtful.

^This.

He might as well kick them out too if it’s his house his rules ...

coronabeer23 · 18/07/2020 17:02

Of course he should put some clothes on, a pair of shorts would be fine. I don’t particularly like my own kids hanging around in their underwear and tell them to at least put a pair of pyjama trousers or a tracksuit trousers on

edwinbear · 18/07/2020 17:16

Don’t most people get up, brush their teeth/hair and get dressed? I’m agog at all these people sitting around in their pants all day - guests or no guests.

AfterSchoolWorry · 18/07/2020 17:20

I always put on clothes for visitors, the rest of the time at home I'm in night wear.

Paragraff · 18/07/2020 18:22

Night wear is grim too.

BitOfFun · 18/07/2020 20:40

In what way is it "grim", Paragraff? (I do like your username, btw!)

AfterSchoolWorry · 18/07/2020 23:51

@BitOfFun

In what way is it "grim", Paragraff? (I do like your username, btw!)
Yeah! I can't be doing with warring shoes and bras and jeans around the house! Not comfy.

My night wear is clean and I have many, many varieties!

But I do dress for guests, I'm considerate like that!

Paragraff · 19/07/2020 00:01

I suppose I associate it with slept in it for a few days grubbiness. Wobbly breasts and genitals, signalling to the world that you don't intend to do much that day. Don't even like night clothes at breakfast. My day clothes are very comfy though.

KatherineParr4 · 19/07/2020 00:03

Beyond rude. Would you greet guests in your underwear? I think not.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/07/2020 00:21

How different from the life of our own dear Queen

My favourite Mumsnet morning phrase Grin

Busymum45 · 19/07/2020 00:31

Sounds alright to me ha ha

billy1966 · 19/07/2020 00:36

Goodness me...A real lesson in how other people liveShock

BitOfFun · 19/07/2020 00:55

Get with it, Paragraff- these days we have fresh day pyjamas Grin.

PegasusReturns · 19/07/2020 13:02

@BobFleming clearly there’s a difference between wearing actual shorts and underwear.

As there is between wearing pyjamas and underwear.

ContessaferJones · 19/07/2020 13:09

That is weird and not something my sons will be encouraged to do!!

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