Putting clothes on for guests

[Deadringer]

Just curious what is the norm in other families. My sister had an accident which means she is housebound for the moment. She lives with her dh and adult son. Two of my other sisters visited her recently (seperately) and said the son was present the entire time they were there, wearing just boxer shorts. He also answered the door in his boxers. For reference, the weather has not been good here and not particularly warm. Both said they felt very uncomfortable sitting with him and left after a short time. They are both in their 60s, if it makes any difference. I visited yesterday and he was in his shorts again. I made a joke of it and suggested he put some clothes on. I think he was offended. My sister (his mother) said that all of her sons always wandered around in boxers, and it wouldn't occurr to them to put on a t shirt for visitors. Aibu to think that even if he is in his own home, if someone calls in you put something on? Genuinely interested in opinions.

We're the visitors invited? Or did they just drop by?

Wow loads of replies. I wouldn't say he was trying to intimidate at all, but he wasn't pleased when i suggested a t shirt, he huffed and puffed and left the room. We are a big family and not very close, i would consider us visitors in this instance. To reply to a poster, i have 6 sisters. I also have 5 brothers, can't recall ever seeing any of them in their undercrackers. I had my 2 dds with me too, age 16 and 11, who are not blood related and have only met him a dozen times or so. Seems the consensus is he should have put something on.

Not invited, but told to drop in anytime.

An adult man lounging around in his underwear, in front of guests is weird as hell.

I wouldn’t allow my DC to behave like that in front of me, let alone guests.

I had my 2 dds with me too, age 16 and 11, who are not blood related and have only met him a dozen times or so

Wow, that's unbelievably inappropriate of him, with your DDs there. He sounds like an arse.

Reading this thread and looking at my sons (18 & 21) who are both wearing only shorts (Converse 'sweat' style which come down to above the knee, not boxers).

They are quite happy in this attire - and I wouldn't expect them to put on more clothes for family visiting.

If they weren't invited, surely they didn't expect him to be dressed and ready to greet guests? He's in his own home. Now I do think once the guests came in if he was staying downstairs then perhaps he could have put some trousers on but honestly he was covered up and not really much different than wearing shorts and no shirt

Yes I think it is polite to be decently dressed. That could be pj's or a decent dressing gown, but wandering around half naked isn't really on. It is inconsiderate to your guests.

Male entitlement to do what the fuck he wants.
Imagine a 24 year old woman answering the door and entertaining guests in her knickers. Fucking ridiculous.

Would your DD do this? No.

I’d tell him to put on some clothes if he was my son. In fact, I quite often tell my 5 year old (who wants to run around in his pants) that he needs to at least put on shorts in case his granny comes over. He gets it that pants are ok first thing in the morning or just before bed, but during the day clothes are expected. If he tried it in his 20s I’d be telling him in no uncertain terms.

over age of about 8/9, people should get dressed in more than underwear if visitors are in the house. A pair of shorts or lounge pants at the least.

DH and I do generally mooch around in boxers/pants and top, but if there was a knock at the door we would 100% put some extra clothes on, DH wouldnt dream of even greeting the postman without a top on let alone someone who came in for a cuppa

I haven't worn a bra all lock down except for Zoom with DSs. Who wants to look at their 65 yr old mother with it all hanging out? Same applies to young lads wobbling their bits about for all to see. What you do to suit yourself is one thing, caring about others is about putting them first.

In theory he can do whatever he likes as it's his house.

However, as part of the host family, surely part of his responsibility is to make guests feel welcome and respected.

I think his behaviour is rude.

Your mother had twelve kids? Bloody hell thats a thread all on its own. Twelve of you!

As pp said though it’s weird as fuck to be sitting in only your underwear with guests round, and it’s irrelevant if you’re male or female.

Thank you dead ringer , that's so interesting! I am always fascinated by really big families (am one of four myself)- I just cannot imagine how people manage the workload. I stopped at two

Scummy. Shorts and a t-shirt, please.

My sons always walked about in their jersey shorts, but it's funny one is back home now, age 34 and doesn't do it, but my other son does when we go to his house.
Luckily everyone I know well enough are really open minded and have never had a problem with it.

It's polite to throw on a T-shirt and shorts, hardly a hassle. Under 5s are ok in a bit less, or people actively sunbathing or swimming, but it's rude to guests to only wear pants.

I think it’s disrespectful. Very.

Dh walks around in his boxers a lot. He puts clothes on for guests or even just to answer the door to the postman.

Unacceptable unless a toddler

Luckily everyone I know well enough are really open minded and have never had a problem with it.

I don’t think it’s open minded to slob around in underwear in front of guests, tbh.

Utterly grim. He’s obviously not been brought up well.