AIBU to think this is anything but proof he has cheated.

[Cornnuts]

Sorry not AIBU but posting for traffic. I was looking for some old files on my husbands laptop that I needed. I have found screenshots of text messages he received in September 2018 from two different sources one saying ‘you’re test came back negative’ and the other ‘you’re clear’ from googling the numbers one is linked to government NHS chlamydia testing, the other is free test.me which is an STD testing site. We have been married 2 years and together 10. I’ve been lying here all night going through every possible scenario that somehow this has an explanation. There isn’t anything I can think of apart from he has cheated. I don’t know what to do or think. I will talk to him today but I don’t know if I’m ready to hear what this means. I love him and thought he loved me. We are trying for a baby. I just can’t even think that he would do this. Sorry not even really a question. Suppose just looking for a hand hold and somewhere to vent.

[CrazyToast]

Not everywhere tests for everything if it is test-at-home. Many free services only do Chlamydia and gonnorhea. If he wanted other stuff too he might have had to go elsewhere to find it free or pay for the rest of the tests from a different service. I know cos this happened with me (two difference services).

[myohmywhatawonderfulday]

I don't want to throw a curve ball in for no reason - because I think your gut instinct will be telling you a lot.

But I recently was tested for all STI's because my doctor insisted. I was really annoyed by it because I have been with DH for 16 years..and so while I couldn't be 100% sure I was 99.99999% sure that wasn't what was wrong. I did tell my husband though.

[tinseltitsandlittlegits]

Sounds like his ow wanted proof he was clear before sleeping with him .

[IfIWasAFlowerGrowingWildAndFre]

I was tested during pregnancy, when I had an abortion and when ever I have urine infections, apparently the more people who get tested the better it looks for statistics?
Catch him off guard and ask him, I think his body language would give it away whether there is an innocent explanation

[Cornnuts]

So he has admitted seeing someone else. My fault apparently as I should have realised we weren’t happy. That’s why only last week we were trying for a baby. Absolute bastard. At my friends house for tonight so can regroup then will need to get myself sorted. I just can’t believe he’s blaming me. I don’t know how I feel, I’m crying one minute the next angry then feel completely detached but devastated. No idea where to even start. What a difference a day can make.

[MiddleClassProblem]

So sorry @Cornnuts. He will blame you as it’s a way to justify it to himself but there’s no excuse for a betrayal of this kind. He should have addressed issues with you rather than have an affair if it was your fault.

Get well rid. Glad you have a support system

[Palavah]

So sorry to hear that but at least you know now rather than after you fall pregnant.

[MissJacksonIfYoureNasty]

Oh OP, I am so sorry. What a wanker. You deserve better love

[Yellowcakestand]

I've been checking for an update today hoping it want the worst news but thinking it must be. I'm so sorry. What a c*!!
For 2 years at least or was that a different one?
Why can't ppl just be honest?
Have a good cry, lean on your support network and then try to get some sleep. You've got a hard road ahead of you. Xxx

[Elsewyre]

"PurpleFlower1983

My friend found out she has chlamydia when she was pregnant, questioned her husband who swore he had not cheated and later tested negative. She had been asymptomatic for a lot of years.

As someone that has worked in sexual health this is HIGHLY unlikely.
More likely her husband chested and then got treated himself."


But hed have been quickly infected

Its much much more likley her friend cheated and just lied out of embarrassment.

Orcams razor or whatever it is

[TreadLightly3]

So sorry @Cornnuts. Wishing you a happy future and lots of strength to get through this

[Lifeisconfusing]

How are things today @Cornnuts

[Tellmeagain]

What a complete tosser. I hope you can manage some sleep tonight and wake up strong enough to do what you need to do tomorrow.

[Prettybubblesintheair]

I’m so sorry op, you must be heart broken. What an absolute arsehole. How dare he blame you

[Igotthemheavyboobs]

I had a test to get a free cinema ticket once. It was an offer the sexual health walk in were doing.

[Igotthemheavyboobs]

Sorry I clearly had not rtft

Hope you are okay OP. He is a bastartd

[doskant]

An ex of mine blamed me for cheating as well. Pathetic. Good news is you’ve dodged a bullet, OP. It might not feel like something to celebrate now but you will in times to come.

[doskant]

Totally forgot he also blamed me for him getting chlamydia! He was the one cheating and he was cheating with a woman who was cheating on her long-term partner yet I was blamed for giving him and her an STI. Still wonder whether he believed me when I said my test came back negative. What.A.Tit.

[nitsandwormsdodger]

I had to have full sex health screening before getting pregnant with ivf

Chlamydia can lie dormant for 10 years
Maybe he was just making sure he was all clear from any previous sexual encounters before stopping using contraception

[RonnieBob]

So sorry @Cornnuts. He’s shown you who he is so now you need to believe him and know that you are much better off without the sort of ‘man’ (loose term) who’d choose to cheat on his wife whilst TTC. Thinking of you

[AryaStarkWolf]

I'm so sorry Cornnuts but the one good thing about him blaming you is that he really is showing you how he's not worth forgiving or giving a second chance to. Thankfully you found this out before you fell pregnant. You can get through this

[Whenwillow]

@unicornparty that could just be OP's phone re arranging her grammar.

[Whenwillow]

Oops sorry, ignore post, I didn't realise it was a long one.
I'm sorry OP

[BurtsBeesKnees]

So sorry op

Please, don't forget one moment believe this is your fault, there is no, reason whatsoever to justify cheating. If he wasn't happy he should have talked to you about it. Not stuck his dick in some else.

Take a breath and talk to your friend tonight. Then out yo big girls pants on tomorrow and go and sort the important paperwork out, hide it and speak to a solicitor and

[backseatcookers]

You are an absolute fucking trooper to be at work today OP I'm impressed! Hope you're doing OK and dickhead is out of the house for now and hopefully for good