AIBU to think this is anything but proof he has cheated.

[Cornnuts]

Sorry not AIBU but posting for traffic. I was looking for some old files on my husbands laptop that I needed. I have found screenshots of text messages he received in September 2018 from two different sources one saying ‘you’re test came back negative’ and the other ‘you’re clear’ from googling the numbers one is linked to government NHS chlamydia testing, the other is free test.me which is an STD testing site. We have been married 2 years and together 10. I’ve been lying here all night going through every possible scenario that somehow this has an explanation. There isn’t anything I can think of apart from he has cheated. I don’t know what to do or think. I will talk to him today but I don’t know if I’m ready to hear what this means. I love him and thought he loved me. We are trying for a baby. I just can’t even think that he would do this. Sorry not even really a question. Suppose just looking for a hand hold and somewhere to vent.

[roarfeckingroar]

Not necessarily. I used one of these a couple of years ago because a friend mentioned the service and I thought "well why not be sure". I hadn't cheated on my (then) partner.

[rooarsome]

Possibly, but as others have said there are a myriad of reasons why he could have had this test. The only way to know is to talk to him.

[MashedSpud]

Seems like he’s screenshotted the messages to show someone else. Either an affair partner or fling who accused him of giving her an std or proving he was clean to someone he wanted unprotected sex with.

If it was innocent he would have told you (uti/difficulty peeing etc).

[Prettybluepigeons]

There was a thing a while back where you could send joke stuff like to people to shit them up basically! Could one of his mates have sent him them?

[Ispywithmycynicaleye]

So did he get checked twice? By 2 different organisations?

If an ex got in touch, or he had strange symptoms, surely he would only need to be checked once?

[TheMotherofAllDilemmas]

I would say that if he was cheating and sending screen shots of test results to a possible OW, he wouldn’t have sent one for chlamydia but a screenshot that shows he was clear only as the results of the kind of tests he would have taken to move into condomless territory would cover more STDs than chlamydia.

It seems to me an old flame contacted him to tell him he needed to get himself checked as she was diagnosed with it, the screen shots may have been sent to prove her he didn’t infect her.

There are obviously some issues that he has hid from you and that is very wrong but don’t discard the possibility of him being contacted by a long forgotten ex to have the tests as that is exactly what sexual clinics ask you to do when you are diagnosed with a STD and you can have Chlamydia for years (literally years) without showing any symptoms.

[PleasantVille]

I was just going to post the same question, why wouldn't he have got all tests and results at the same time? Maybe that's normal, just something that crossed my mind

[TheMotherofAllDilemmas]

Yes, when you take a test for STDs they test for gonorrea, HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, etc, the fact the test refers only to chlamydia makes me think this is about an old relationship rather than him having an affair.

[Nibblingoncrumpets]

Did he perhaps want to make 100-% sure no STDs before having unprotected sex to try for baby?

[Cornnuts]

Thanks for your messages everyone. Just for clarification the texts are definitely official and I had just paraphrased and used incorrect grammar.
He has been at work all day so I had another look at his laptop. Have additionally found further evidence something is going on recently. He told me he was away at a certain place last week with work (where another office is). I found a train ticket which is to a completely different part of the country. Also found a receipt in his wallet from two days before he went for Boots for two packets of condoms so not looking good. I feel like I’ve been turned inside out and can’t breathe. Going to lay it all out tomorrow and see what he says.

[MolotovMocktail]

I’m so sorry Cornnuts, what a prick. Get yourself organised before you confront him, copies of bank balances and financial documents etc, screen shots of all the evidence.

[youhave4substitutes]

Sorry to hear that. If you confront him now be prepared to listen to lots of lies and twisting of events. Personally I'd wait. Get what you need while he's still in the dark or he'll shut down and delete the lot.

[AJGranny]

Ah no. How gut wrenching for you. So sorry.

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

Make sure you get copies of all the proof before he deletes it.

[pinksunday]

So sorry to read your update x

[Guiltypleasures001]

take care of you

[Iloveyoutothefridgeandback]

Don't say anything to him until you've got everything sorted.

I'm so sorry OP, this is awful news. I know It seems like the end of the world right now but it will get better

[Durgasarrow]

How long have you been married? Chlamydia can lie dormant for a long, long time.

[LadyFrumpington]

You poor thing
What a betrayal.

Have a read of chumplady and "the script"
Because he WILL lie minimise justify and rewrite history.
I would be inclined to say nothing until you have had a think and started sorting paperwork.
Can you get time off work and go see family or friends?

[lukasiak]

Two packets of condoms?! Who the freck is he, the iron bull?

[Brenna24]

That's not a great update. Take care of yourself.

[AdoreTheBeach]

I’m sorry OP. The only good thing is you found out now, before having children with him.

Stay strong. Look after yourself.

[custardbear]

You need to talk to him, not looking good though - sorry

[MiddleClassProblem]

Shit

Get an exit strategy in place as it will help you if he’s someone who could persuade you to stay.

It looks like it has been multiple times. I wouldn’t trust him to not do it again.

Put yourself first. And I don’t just mean over him but also over the you that was picturing the future with him and preparing for a baby.

Good luck OP x

[Fiveletters]

Really sorry to see your update