AIBU to think this is anything but proof he has cheated.

[Cornnuts]

Sorry not AIBU but posting for traffic. I was looking for some old files on my husbands laptop that I needed. I have found screenshots of text messages he received in September 2018 from two different sources one saying ‘you’re test came back negative’ and the other ‘you’re clear’ from googling the numbers one is linked to government NHS chlamydia testing, the other is free test.me which is an STD testing site. We have been married 2 years and together 10. I’ve been lying here all night going through every possible scenario that somehow this has an explanation. There isn’t anything I can think of apart from he has cheated. I don’t know what to do or think. I will talk to him today but I don’t know if I’m ready to hear what this means. I love him and thought he loved me. We are trying for a baby. I just can’t even think that he would do this. Sorry not even really a question. Suppose just looking for a hand hold and somewhere to vent.

[PurpleFlower1983]

Really?! Oh dear!! Best not tell her that then!

[MiddleClassProblem]

I’m assuming the “you’re” is just OP’s tired typing...

[Evelefteden]

I did one of these when I thought my exdh was cheating.

This isn’t proof that he has.

He can easily say -

I thought you had cheated
My mate sent it to me

Does it have his name on it?

[IamMaz]

@Jessbow
Exactly what I was thinking!!!

[Grandmi]

If it is an official result I am surprised at the wording and poor grammar. I would expect his name ,date of birth and then just negative, you’re is very poor English. The only plausible excuse I can think of was he had UTI symptoms thought it was STD ,presumed you had cheated and got the test .

[ginghamtablecloths]

You say you've been married two years and these tests date back to the same time frame. Could he have got tested before you settled down just to make sure he was free of anything beforehand? Did he have a last fling on a stag night? Discussion is the only way to find out.

[MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood]

The thing that makes it odd to me is not that he had the test but that he screenshot it. That means he sent it to someone. Why would he need to? Yes this.

Presumably the spelling mistakes are op’s, as she said she checked the phone numbers and they were sexual health clinics. So i don’t think that’s reason to assume they are a joke.

[prh47bridge]

I can think of several possible explanations:

• he has cheated

• he has been contacted by a previous partner who has tested positive and wanted to check

• he thinks you cheated

• he had symptoms (pain when urinating, for example) and decided to check himself. If this is the case he ought to have gone to see his GP but never underestimate the stupid things some men will do to avoid the embarrassment of having a doctor examining their genitals

• he had symptoms and his GP told him to get checked to rule out STIs before looking at other possibilities

I note that the website he used recommends that everyone who is sexually active should be tested for chlamydia every 12 months regardless of whether or not they have had any new partners. Other organisations involved in sexual health such as the Terrence Higgins Trust also make this recommendation. I wasn't aware of this until a few minutes ago. If they are right I should have been having an annual test for the last 40 years.

If he has just been tested for chlamydia, that seems a bit specific. If he had cheated and decided to get checked I would have expected a general test. So I lean slightly towards there being another explanation.

[Patbutcherismyhero]

I don't think it's proof he's been cheating at all. I ordered an STI test during my relationship. I'd had a few weird symptoms. I was checked before I got with my current partner but I don't know if he was and to be honest at that stage I was too embarrassed to ask him! So I got a test and had anybody come back positive I would have discussed it with him and asked him to get tested to.

It could be something like that.

Don't automatically jump to the worst conclusion but do speak to him about it. You'll be able to tell a lot from his reaction.

[tripleripples]

I assumed that “you’re” was just the way op typed, not the original message. I had a test from freetest.me recently, and the exact wording was “hi (name), you’ll be glad to know your test came back all clear!”. And then telling me where I could get more details. It was pretty informally worded.

I had a test recently because I had worrying symptoms. My GP was worried about cervical cancer, but wanted me to have a full sti screen too, just to rule it out. The difference was that I had already told my husband about my worrying symptoms, and then told him about the sti test I needed to do. I don’t know why your husband would have kept it a secret. The only reason I can think of is that he possibly thought he had caught something from you because you had cheated. So it’s hardly definitive evidence of cheating, but very odd. Do you remember how he was behaving at that time?

[MarthasGinYard]

The screenshots of the results makes it look like it was sent to or from someone.

Have you been suspicious of anything previously?

[MrsElijahMikaelson1]

[Crunchymum]

They don't sound like official messages?

If you can ascertain they are genuine, then it doesn't look good as the only reason they have been screen shot is because he sent them to someone else....

[PleasantVille]

Aside from the possibly typo how do you know that the screenshots were of messages sent to him. Does he usually save photos of his own messages, that's quite an unusual thing to do isn't it. Why save them at all?

[TypingoftheDead]

The OP was summarising the contents of the messages in her first post, not paraphrasing them. Though I agree if they were spelled “you’re” instead of “your” it would make me wonder.

[Warsawa31]

As a precious poster Said - he may have had symptoms that presented as an STI. Some GP’s would insist on these tests. I’ve been in a similar situation myself, I have never been unfaithful to my wife, but I just told her I have had to do these tests- the not telling you part is concerning.

[ItsSpittingEverybodyIn]

I would think it's strange that they are screenshot. Could be someone nasty (an ex) has been trying to stir trouble before the wedding? Then sent him these?
I'd be asking him pronto.

[MRex]

Maybe he was having a panic test because of trying for a baby, having read about chlamydia infertility. Having come back negative he then put it out of his mind. How long have you been trying for? You need to ask and make sure you get an honest answer, don't believe any evasions as those do mean he's cheated.

[NellieandRufus]

There could be other reasons he gt tested, but the most likely reason for taking two sti tests is that there was reason to do so. I would suspect cheating is the most likely scenario (sorry).

Whilst I don't like to stereotype, most men would not undergo any type of medical testing unless there was a need for it. The OP has been with her partner for 10 years and this was almost 2 years ago. I'd say it's not impossible, but highly unlikely, that a former partner had been in touch.

I hope OP that there turns out to be a good explanation. His face when you ask should tell you what you need to know.

[Casablanca78]

If they are his, why would he have screen shot them? Surely if he was trying to hide something, the last thing he'd want to do is keep the evidence saved somewhere. Surely he'd just think phew, close call and delete them forever. No reason I can think of to want to risk keeping.
I reckon there could be a good chance that someone has sent them to him. Photos sent to me via WhatsApp automatically save to my camera roll so it's often got random things on there I've forgotten to delete.

[PenelopePitstop49]

Was that the year you got married OP?

Stag night?

[MadeForThis]

Could it be a message that someone sent to him? But why would they do that?

If he had got tested I would assume the cheating would have been in the month or two prior to the test. Can you check where he was around then? Holiday? Stag? Work trip? Can you check more on his laptop? Pictures or messages?

I wouldn't speak to him until I had investigated more.

[PamwichShilling]

It doesn't mean he's cheated. Ask him about it.
I had an std test after being with my partner 18 months because I had some pelvic pain and spotting. It came back negative as I thought it would but as some STDs can take a while to show symptoms, I wanted to be on the safe side. I never mentioned it to him because I didn't want him to think I thought he was cheating.
I'd be pretty upset if he found evidence of the test and assumed I'd been cheating without talking to me about it.

[BobbieDraper]

Um... "anything but" means it isnt or 'not at all'. If its anything but proof he is cheating, it means it isnt proof he is cheating; it could be anything else but cheating.

I clicked thinking someone had told you he was cheating but you didnt believe the proof existed!

[User7764217]

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and have never cheated nor suspected him of cheating.

I have to admit I did think of getting tested a couple of years ago as there are many stories of STDs lying dormant and I realised I had never had a screening. I didn’t have any symptoms but did cross my mind to get a test for the avoidance of doubt.

Having said that I didn’t do it because I was fairly certain there’s nothing to worry about.

Unfortunately I think you might just have to ask him.

Best of luck whatever you do!