Have you dated someone of diff intelligence?

[AnyOldMorricone]

Can I ask if you have been in a relationship with someone less (or more) intelligent than you? If so, how did it work out? What were the challenges? Could you make it work?

I’m not talking Forest Gump and Steven Hawking but just everyday & more subtle!

Interested to hear others’ experiences.

I'm married to a Stephen Hawkings type ie professor in a mind blowing field. People find it very strange that I don't know what he does but when he explains it doesn't even sound like he's speaking English. But I am fast thinker, like a smart phone, quick to respond. DH is like a slow lumbering supercomputer that'd crush a smartphone in a nanosecond, but is useless if you need the number for the pizza shop.

They say one of the reasons inequality has risen is that as women have become better educated, uni educated types gravitate towards each other creating households with two high earning partners.... previously, there was just one uni educated person usually the man with a non or lower earning wife. There has been no discernible movement towards the female higher earning partner taking a non or low earning spouse.

I once dated a guy that didn't know where eggs came from. He simply said he'd not thought about before. Needless to say that was a deal breaker.
My current dp is much more streetwise than me and being adhd thinks at 10 times the speed. I wouldn't call him intelligent in what I would call the traditional sense but he's very perceptive and a great problem solver.
He is my rock.

DP and I are intelligent in different ways and it's one of our strengths.

I am academically smart (did very well at school, can recall facts and lots of information). He is worldly smart, has much more common sense than I do and is better at practical situations.

I am fantastically clever and frequently intimidate my minions at work through my sheer intellect. My latest conquest can barely string a sentence together he's such a dumbass but he's like a rabbit in the sack so he'll do for now

My ex who I was with for 28 years was very good on a practical level, but he wasnt someone you could have in depth conversations about anything with, he could talk about football etc and we got on well, had a similar sense of humour but I always missed having intelligent discussions with him.

My more recent ex was the other extreeme. He had a physics degree and was very articulate and good to talk too, unfotunately I felt he looked down on me, in fact one of the comments my previous ex made was, "Jenasaurus is seeing !! isnt he really intelligent" in a sort of a, that wont last type of way. It did end though for various reasons after 7 years we were not really compatible.

My DH is quite significantly more intelligent than me. I'm fairly average, been to uni etc but he got 4 As at A level with zero effort, has a photographic memory and learns things very quickly, including languages.
To be honest it's pretty annoying! He doesn't seem to mind our disparity but it bothers me and makes me wish I was more intelligent. I think if I was as clever as him I'd rather be with someone with a similar level of intelligence.

(Im not saying intelligence Is always evidenced by a uni education, but it is generally a fairly good indication )

Ok op, even though I know my DH has brains to burn and I'm the slower one as such we still have engaging conversations. It's never been a problem. Sounds like it might be for you?

I sort a lot of my DHs social/work.problems out, he always respects and asks my opinion. Do you feel he adds this part to your life?

I’m reasonably bright but my exH and my DP are both geniuses. My DP has an IQ of 164 and is a systems engineer. I have an MSc in computing but I watch him work and it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. He says he ‘sees’ the system in 3D and then just ‘creates’ it. He reminds me of the computing version of a Masterbuilder from the Lego Movie! He’s also very handy and practical, but has dyslexia and would never think of reading for pleasure, and struggles to learn another language - yet he can pick up a new programming language in a few days. Weird, but very lovely. He reminds a little of Doc from Back to the Future sometimes

Very interesting experiences. There’s people who don’t have a clue and then those who are proud and brag about not having a clue. Like bragging about being bad at math. Or that they find politics boring. Both topics form the basis or everyday activities in life. What’s all that about, when did being thick become fashionable?

DP and I have what we would both describe as different intelligence - for a given problem, we'll both come to a solution from totally different angles - he's tremendously impractical, not particularly academic, but an excellent problem solver, with a near photographic memory and total focus. I'm more classically trained and structured.

Together we can fix/figure out just about anything. Really works well - and weirdly, we have two children, and they seem too be split down the same lines too!

Interesting replies. DH has an IQ of 172. I'v never had my IQ tested but I'm guessing mine is average although I did pass the UKcat well. I have dyslexia which is what I accounted for the difference between me and DH rather than our IQ.

My first husband was a builder with barely any GCSEs who struggled to spell. I used to have to deal with his emails etc. He set up his own business and became very successful and ended up far outearning me with my professional job and degree. It didn’t work out between us but he’s a genuinely lovely person. I still can’t understand his texts sometimes though.

I've had a couple short term relationships with stupid but gorgeous guys. It was fun at first but I do enjoy intellectual discussions so got bored of them pretty quickly. One ex in particular used to ask me to explain what every word with more than 3 syllables meant, it got tedious

Partner is very clever

I'm not thick but I'm not as clever as he is

Why would it make any difference

DPs have all been very clever (I find intelligence very attractive) BUT entirely different in temperament and application. I have not ever had a relationship with a non-graduate TBQH (from an era when it was much less common to have a university education than nowadays) but otherwise, the cleverness has not necessarily been beyond the academic.

I'm a thicko as is my former partner so I'm extremely jealous of these high-IQ'd folks who can do amazing things.

My long term partners are pretty evenly matched with me, although with different gifts to mine.
I did once date a man who had got double firsts in maths and physics from Cambridge and he was noticeably clever, although a bit odd.

My parents. Dad is exceptionally intelligent, his brain always has to be busy. As such is very qualified and educated. My mum is average intelligence, silly and funny. They shouldn't work but they do. She forces him to chill the fuck out and be silly.

Works for them. 40years married next month.

I tried to date someone once who failed both his English and Maths GCSEs. Not sure whether he did A-levels but don't think he had a degree. He wasn't stupid, but was just rather directionless and a bit of a disaster generally - so when I met him he hadn't had a job for a couple of years and he didn't own any property. We actually met in an academic evening class, so I could see he wasn't stupid - but he also believed in conspiracy theories so that completely put the tin lid on it as far as I was concerned.

I also dated another chap who was a bit dim - used to talk about things being "on my behalf" when he actually meant he did them himself. He was also a bit hapless (and not terribly nice, as it turned out).

I've also dated some very, very bright and academic people - not sure whether any of those relationships ended because they felt I was intellectually inferior...

Yes: I am of average intelligence (at best) and had a poor education.
The love of my life is very clever, and VERY well educated, but I met him when young and was overawed by him. We separated.

I married a man who drives a bus. There is nothing wrong with that but he comes from a family who seem to celebrate being dopey and having no ambition. They giggle and make stupid jokes about anyone 'different' from them and are not interested in the world around them.
I find them depressing and limiting. My children sometimes cringe when their Dad talks. I hope they have a wider mind-set than he does.
He is also unkind and spiteful, so it is not just an IQ / mindset issue.

I recently met my first love again. I still find him attractive (aged 70!) partly because I love his mind. Circumstances mean we can only be friends but it's ok: I could talk to him every day until the day I die.

I think massive differences in education can 'work' but massive differences in IQ less so, unless there are other mitigating factors.
Of course, there are all kinds of intelligence, and kindness and an inquisitive nature and 'wanting to learn' counts for a lot too: essential!
I am mystified why Mr Clever likes me so much, but happy he does!

My sister worked in a clothing mill for a while and her description of her co-workers was "You can see them taking a run up to think".

I went out with someone twice (twice was more than enough) when I was about 18 - he was a mansplainer. About everything. He assumed that I was completely devoid of any intelligence whatever, and he took it upon himself to educate me.

Whereas I knew different. I knew that he wasn't bright enough to realise how thick he was. It was my first encounter with someone suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect.

No. Lots of different academic levels but intelligence itself is something that I'd need In a partner.