To feel a bit 'icky' after seeing partners internet history?

[IfIWasAFlowerGrowingWildAndFre]

When using DPs phone yesterday I went to close some of the open pages on the internet and noticed one of them was porn. Now, I dont usually have an issue with porn, and whilst it's not something DP chooses to discuss with me, I am aware he watches it. The title of the particular video was something along the lines of 'dad watches daughter fuck stepmom'. Though I didnt look in depth I'm fairly certain it was more a role play scenario rather than incest, but given I am a 'stepmom' to his DD it feels pretty grim knowing he's getting off on that sort of thing.
A nosey through his internet history would suggest he watches that particular 'genre's often, and as I can see the times hes visited these sites, hes watching it whilst telling me he is going for a nap during the day (too tired to come to the park with me and DD, but not too tired for a wank),or late at night when he is downstairs 'relaxing' rather than coming to bed with me. He is often too tired for sex, and we dont have a great sex life anymore so it's a bit of a kick in the teeth.
Aibu to tell him what I've seen and that I'm uncomfortable with it?

Very explicit and detailed and quite romantic in its way but that was a world apart from the crap thats on these sites these days. Yes the audince was very appricative and applauded!

Your concern for the women and girls who have been abused and raped as a result ofpornography is overwhelming. I almost feel teary.

Your Brain On Porn.com is an interesting website. Op, have a read.

@Justaboy

I imagine you’re entirely desensitised Just.

Beg to differ Smile each day more the opposite!

I remeber many years ago whilst out in the middle of Saudi Arabia of all places there was a construction camp there and most nights they had this outdoor cinema and they occasionaly showed some Indian porn films based on stories from the Karma Sutra and the like.

Very explicit and detailed and quite romantic in its way but that was a world apart from the crap thats on these sites these days. Yes the audince was very appricative and applauded!

All male adudince buit i don't think any woman who saw that would have been offended. A world apart ferom the money grabbing crap that is on the net these days!

Um, that was money grabbing crap even if sleazy men did applaud.

Do you think they make porn films out of the pure joy of it? There's always someone bankrolling it.

There's nothing romantic about sexual exploitation.

Just think of all the teenage boys learning about sex from porn sites.
Now think how many are in blended families with step sisters and step mums.
It's diabolical.

Jesus Christ. I have a DSD and if I found that on my DH’s phone I know I would never be able to sleep with him again. Total deal breaker.

@SmileyClare

When you're enjoying a horror film you're not actively getting off and orgasming on the fantasy of bludgeoning someone with an axe though. At least I hope not.

Ignore my response to this I'm pretty sure I took it up wrong the first time..

Just think of all the teenage boys learning about sex from porn sites

I did a very interesting piece of work with a group of teenage boys about this. Their expectations about sex were so deeply at odds with reality. Really worrying.

The subject matter makes you feel sick to your stomach for a reason.
Listen to your inner self - do not reason it away, logic away, push it down, ignore it....this is not going away.

You have made the discovery. You can not 'unknow it'.

What do you want to do?

OP the continual watching of that genre is properly grim. I don’t have an issue with porn but to hone in on that particular genre when you have a pubescent daughter is vile.

I couldn’t carry on if I’d discovered that.

Oh Christ no, don't think I'd ever be able to look at him the same way again.

It's very difficult to see how men could search regularly for a particular fetish but not want it in real life, if the opportunity arose. It would be completely different to enter "young woman" versus "daughter" into that search box.

I am very anti porn in principle for the obvious reasons (to me) that it is extremely exploitative of women.

I feel for you OP, because what you have found on his phone is so repulsive and can't be unseen.

His child and his wife and he gets off on that.

Not just the ICK, it's quite sickening.

I couldn't look at a man and know THAT is where his mind is when he thinks of his child.

Even more so than him viewing his wife in that way.

Truly awful about his child.

Trust would be fully gone.

I also think I would be telling his ex wife.

I'm afraid the fact that he has a daughter and you are her step mum would be the deal breaker for me.
I wouldn't stay with him, I wouldn't be able to get past that, it's seriously unpleasant.

I'm quite relaxed when it comes to porn (I've watched a bit out of curiosity more than to get off on!) but that makes me feel uneasy.

Not only is it concerning considering your situation, even if it is just role playing, to me it has underage connotations.

There is no way I could stay with a man who is sexually aroused by that topic Especially as he seems to watch porn so much that he prefers it to sex with an actual living woman.

@TheQueef

Just think of all the teenage boys learning about sex from porn sites. Now think how many are in blended families with step sisters and step mums. It's diabolical.

^^^ This needs to be born in mind, I feel queef hit the nail

Yes I think tell the ex wife too.

@SmileEachDay

Just think of all the teenage boys learning about sex from porn sites

I did a very interesting piece of work with a group of teenage boys about this. Their expectations about sex were so deeply at odds with reality. Really worrying.

It's a time bomb about to go off. Makes my stomach churn to think of the expectations these boys will have and even worse is the removal of boundaries for girls.

I agree Queef. It’s common for blowjobs to be expected very early on in relationships.

Absolutely vile OP. Only you can decide how you feel about it. But I would be packed and out the door.

TheQueef... sadly I think the bomb has already gone off some time ago...

"Just" answers the question "What is the most heart warming, romantic, intimate love story you have ever read with the word "Lolita"".

Gawd - no wonder so many recent studies show that in real life genuinely affectionate sexual encounters between partners in 21st century society have dramatically declined in the last couple of decades.

Answer = porn (or specifically porn addiction which is clearly rife)

and the real sad thing about the OP post is that if she does leave her partner I genuinely fear for the step daughter without OP's protection

And agree with Billy - I'd definitely consider telling his ex-wife. His daughter needs protecting.

OP, That is vile and would be a deal breaker for me. I would also not be able NOT to tell his daughters mother because it's clear that he will be carrying on with his sick fantasy long after you have gone.

I don't think it's to do with incest, they're just given titles like that to direct people from google (clickbait). It's all standard type porn with women gurning like there's no tomorrow, nothing to do with actual incest. How any man finds it appealing though is beyond me...... I felt a bit sick watching it with DH (he was insistent that it has changed over the years) and it certainly didn't have the effect he desired . I found the lack of hygiene awful - no condoms and going straight from anal to vaginal.

I was horrified though to see videos taken in real life on the site we went on - of shop assistants, women on public transport/beaches etc (along the lines of upskirting and "look at the tits on this"). It beggars belief that it's even legal to upload it as it certainly appeared to filmed without consent.

The internet has been great for many things but making material like this so accessible and common place is horrific. Christ knows what young boys grow up thinking is normal.