To feel a bit 'icky' after seeing partners internet history?

[IfIWasAFlowerGrowingWildAndFre]

When using DPs phone yesterday I went to close some of the open pages on the internet and noticed one of them was porn. Now, I dont usually have an issue with porn, and whilst it's not something DP chooses to discuss with me, I am aware he watches it. The title of the particular video was something along the lines of 'dad watches daughter fuck stepmom'. Though I didnt look in depth I'm fairly certain it was more a role play scenario rather than incest, but given I am a 'stepmom' to his DD it feels pretty grim knowing he's getting off on that sort of thing.
A nosey through his internet history would suggest he watches that particular 'genre's often, and as I can see the times hes visited these sites, hes watching it whilst telling me he is going for a nap during the day (too tired to come to the park with me and DD, but not too tired for a wank),or late at night when he is downstairs 'relaxing' rather than coming to bed with me. He is often too tired for sex, and we dont have a great sex life anymore so it's a bit of a kick in the teeth.
Aibu to tell him what I've seen and that I'm uncomfortable with it?

I'd be asking how old his daughter is as well.

But it is grim. And for me it is potentially a deal breaker.

It is not about you or your attractiveness.

It's a dealbreaker for me. I don't like porn and don't want my partner watching it. And I find incest fantasies pretty gross. I once immediately dumped someone who told me they had a 'daddy/little girl' fetish. That stuff is fucked up.

You are right to be creeped out by it.

Yanbu. The porn industry is really fucked up, if it is not young teen in the title it is incest both are popular click bait 🤮

And I'd be especially upset about it if your sex life has dwindled, too. It's likely partly because he's looking at this stuff and now needs more unusual things to get his kicks.

If I were you I'd talk to him about your sex life and tell him you're not happy about his porn use.

Any porn that involves "watching your daughter fuck" someone is crossing a line I think.
I would feel really concerned that he would ever enjoy a fantasy about this.

Its shorthand for older woman and younger woman

Nowt to do with actual incest

Stepson brother son etc - younger man
Dad uncle step dad etc older man

you are definitely NOT being unreasonable.

i am sure my ex husband thought i was a porn prude but this kind of thing would make me feel physically sick (and glad I am single)

sorry

Eugh, it is ok to be turned off by that.

Its shorthand for older woman and younger woman

Bullshit. There are plenty of videos on PH that say “mature women/young teen”. Naming it as family members is giving porn consumers an additional little thrill.

Ignoring that means you’re refusing to apply any sort of critical eye to porn.

@LaurieFairyCake

Grim.

Unfortunately it's a very common fantasy

Wanting to watch your daughter have sex?

How can continually looking up porn involving father/daughter not be about incest? That's exactly the fantasy.
How fucked up that people find it acceptable.

I'm not anti porn but that would be a deal breaker for me

Eurgh 🤮 just dump him.

YADNBU. That's grim.

The more I think about it the more I'm pretty sure this has crossed the line for me and is very much a deal breaker. His DD is 12.

Grim.

Yes, the genre is super creepy.

I personally think it unacceptable that one partner would have a wank downstairs (to creepy incest-themed porn!) while the other partner gets nothing upstairs - sex is pair bonding and intimacy and mutual pleasure - choosing a quick solo release with dubious material over the chance to physically reconnect with your significant other suggests he has bigger issues around intimacy and commitment.

Chuck in the specific interest in women that look like his ex and I’m concluding he’s a commitment-shy emotionally-stunted man-baby and that you deserve better!

What do you think, WildandFree? We’re just commenting on words on a screen, you live with him.

What do you want to do about it, OP?

"And I'd be especially upset about it if your sex life has dwindled, too. It's likely partly because he's looking at this stuff and now needs more unusual things to get his kicks"

This.

In my mind it is kind of a similar thing to an addiction - as time goes on more and more is needed to get the same effect.

And "real life" (i.e. sex with you) gets shelved.

I have no idea but I suspect / fear as someone said above that it is more common in society than anyone would acknowledge because of "free" porn on the internet. Sadly.

How old is his daughter and why the hell is he leaving incest porn pages open on his phone?
What if his daughter picked it up.

12 years old.

OMG.

sorry but I would be terrified.

Sorry just seen dd is 12 so she could easily pick up his phone and see it then. Jesus

Can you imagine if his daughter ever finds out.
How fucked up would that be for her.
I don't think any 'oh no it's just older woman, younger woman' , 'I'm able to compartmentalise' excuses would make any difference to her.

Why don't you ask him? It doesn't matter if it's not a deal breaker for me does it? Or if it is a deal breaker for me. What matters is how YOU feel and as a first step I'd be having all this out with him

If your relationship as a whole is good then it's worth talking it over with him. On the one hand, you ARE prying into his personal business. On the other hand, if he's having a wank whilst too 'tired' to come for a walk or whatever then he fully deserves to be spoken to about that

Personally, I wouldn't like this at all so it would come down to what the relationship was like as a whole for me before I made a final decision

I was once told by a man, that any father who claims he doesn't secretly want to have sex with his teenage daughter is a liar.

Now, I know this isn't true. But I think it might be perhaps quite shocking to know just how many men think this kind of shit.

if you confronted him about it I am sure what araiwa says above is exactly what he would come out with................